When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I was so stunned that my whole body started shaking and it didn’t stop shaking for a week. I lost 10 pounds in 5 days because I was in such a state of utter shock.
It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I had no safe place to land.
Can you relate to that, Sparkle sister?
My husband had gone out to get his international newspaper when I walked into his office to find something. I wasn’t a jealous or snoopy wife at all; I never “checked up” on him or went through his things because I trusted him.
But when I was in his office that morning, the phone rang and a woman’s voice came through. She had a syrupy southern drawl, saying, “Hey sweetie, I just found us an apartment! Now I’m on the way to the doctor…”
I picked up the phone and snapped, “Who is this?” but she hung up immediately.
That’s when the shaking started, and it didn’t stop. I felt like a blow-up doll whose plug had just been pulled: now I was whirling and twirling around the room with no direction.
You see, I thought I was doing everything right, dear heart, which is why it was such a traumatic revelation. I was a supportive, loving wife, and I was the breadwinner.
During the weeks that followed my discovery, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “I don’t even know who you are anymore. I don’t recognize you. I don’t connect with you. I don’t even know if I like you.”
I felt like an empty shell of a person.
My lovely, sweet reader, if you are going through this right now, or ever have gone through this, you are not alone. It may feel like you are at the moment – but you’re not.
I’m going to be the first to tell you that you will get through this. There is a brilliant, strong, passionate, loveable and worthy woman sitting in your chair… even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
I have been where you are, soul sister. There IS another side… and it is extraordinary; I promise.
If you need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I would love to talk with you on the phone. I invite you to set up a complimentary conversation with me by clicking HERE
Beautiful, is there something that your heart is calling for that you haven’t yet achieved or experienced?
Visualization is a powerful tool you can use daily to bring yourself into the vibration of that which you desire. The key is to clearly picture in your mind’s eye the experience you want with SPECIFIC details (here’s a tip for you doll – imagine you are taking a snapshot of your desired thingie -what would be in the pic? Think colors, clothing, environment, body language, ANYTHING that you would see visually that would indicate this desire has manifested).
Many of you know visualization is important but you may not have a full understanding of WHY it’s important – basically because the brain thinks in pictures AND the subconscious is sensory based.
Even knowing that though, have you ever had the experience of visualizing, thinking you are doing everything right, only to be disappointed that your heart’s desire has not yet manifested? I certainly have.
Then I came across the key to manifestation and I want to share it with you because I know how frustrating it can be not to get the results you expected. Thoughts like, “This stuff doesn’t work” or, “Why isn’t this working for me?” flooding your mind.
Fortunately there is a formula to get lift off on your desire. It’s simple. There is a way to rocket charge what you crave – bringing it the magic momentum necessary to bring it into existence, pronto!!
I take my clients through a POWERFUL 3-step process called “VAK to the Future” that helps them hook into the vision on a deep level.
VAK= Vision, Auditory, Kinesthetic. Remember we talked about the subconscious being sensory based? Well research has shown these are the top three senses to combine to fuel your desire into manifestation. The idea is to create an internal picture and experience that puts you in the place of already having what you want, and the results have been brilliant.
One client told me she wanted to meet someone, so we went through the process…
We started with her concisely stating her desire.
After that was in place the first step was for her to create three clear pictures in her mind down to the very details:
a. A picture of a cozy night in she would spend with her new love, making dinner and drinking wine sitting across from him at the dinner table.
b. A picture of holding hands with him on an evening walk.
c. And a picture of them both embracing each other lovingly.
Next, she described what she heard other people saying about her new relationship. Her friends said things like, “Wow, Rachel is so in love – I’m so happy she found such a perfect partner!”
Finally she connected with how she would feel if this were true.
Putting all the pieces together, I walked her through a guided visualization and told her to reimagine all these images every day.
I wasn’t surprised when in a short time she told me she had met someone special!
When you can imagine yourself inside the heady experience of already having the wonderful things you would love, they will come into your life quickly. What are you dreaming of that hasn’t come into fruition just yet? It’s time to start visioning sparkle sister!
Want some help with this process? This month, I’m giving away 1 visioning session to a lucky reader! To enter, all you have to do is post a comment in the area below before DATE. I’ll announce the winner next week!
Do you just want to dive in with some vision work? Click HERE to set up a time to chat with me one-on-one.
What would I do? What would I think? What would I let go of? What would be a big deal?
People love to post quotes on the Internet about “living each day as though it were your last,” but it’s not too often that someone actually does it.
How would YOU spend your last day on Earth, gorgeous?
Here’s how I spent mine.
On a summer day, I hopped in the car and drove down to see a really good friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a long time. During the drive, I was incredibly aware of my senses: I could feel the steering wheel under my hands, I could hear the hum of the engine and I could smell the fresh air spilling in through the cracked windows.
I was aware of the vibrant color of the sky and the pearly white clouds shimmering above.
In the moment, I was overcome with such an overwhelming sense of awe and gratitude for my life and for God that I started crying.
All I was doing was driving down the road, something we do about every single day here in California, and yet it felt incredible, spiritual and sacred.
The rest of the day was a series of blessings: yoga and deep,” unraveling” conversation with my friend, caramel biscotti and latte treat, sitting outside with my mom, holding hands and listening to the birds sing, ending the day with a movie I wanted to see.
I did the things that I looooove and spent time with people who mean the world to me. I was powerfully aware of every moment, and everything seemed to shimmer with opportunity and blessing.
As a matter of fact, that day I received a phone call out of the blue (or so it seemed but we all know when you’re flying high AMAZING gifts come your way) from a colleague offering to connect me with a New York Times best selling author who ended up helping me lay the groundwork for my book!
That said I have a challenge for you!
Sparkle Sister, have you ever had “one of those days”? You know, the days where everything just seems to go wrong? The more you wallow in how challenging things are, the worse they seem to get until you feel like you’re plummeting headlong into a downward spiral and the whole day is a bust?
Yeah… we’ve all had days like that.
But did you know that “upward spirals” happen, too?
That’s right, sweetness! In the same way our energies can spiral down, they can also spiral up and have you in a clearer and clearer space of love and exuberance as the day goes on.
The upward spiral is where magic happens. Out of the blue, someone will call you with an opportunity, or your partner will bring you a beautiful rose, or a stranger will give you a vibrant smile.
Upward spirals come from a place of connection, gratitude and joy. They happen when you’re living in a space of honoring your soul, opening your heart and thinking healthy, nurturing thoughts.
So, how can you create an upward spiral today?
- Open Your Heart. Opening your heart is one of the simplest things we can do, and yet, we often forget to do it! Sit quietly for a moment, take a deep breath, and connect with your love source. Let it fill your body and expand into the space around you.
- Do Things You Love. Feed your soul by doing activities that you love. Call a girlfriend, or go on a walk or put real cream in your coffee for once! Any action you take, big or small, that you do with love and joy is a wonderful gift that will contribute to your upward spiral.
- Be Of Service. One of our greatest abilities as human beings is to generously give to others. Our time, our attention and our love are three things that make the biggest difference in the lives of others. Where can you offer your greatest gifts to the people in your life?
When you open your heart, do things that you love and be of service to others, magical things will start happening around you. You’ll experience the upward spiral because you will step into a higher energetic vibration. This is KEY! The law of attraction is preceded by your vibration -like attracts like. If you feel good, then good will attract back into your field.
How do you connect with the upward spiral in your life? Where could you infuse more gratitude, more joy?
If you’re looking for a way to tune into your upward spiral either myself or one of my team would love to speak with you one-on-one Click HERE to schedule a complimentary “Upward Spiral” strategy session with me and we’ll look at what keeps you from truly experiencing the joy you deserve.
Are you a fence sitter?
Even if you know what you want, do you sit and wait until conditions are perfect to take action towards a life you would love?
That might look like:
a. waiting for your kids to graduate before doing anything for yourself
b. waiting till you think you have enough money saved to feel comfortable investing in yourself and your dreams
c. waiting till you have more time
d. waiting till you lose weight
e. waiting till you get out of overwhelm
f. waiting till you feel ready, or,or, or!!!
Can you relate?
Dearheart, this life you are living is not a dress rehearsal! We don’t get another go round. Starting today you can choose to make your life absolutely unforgettable. You can do this!
I know it can feel scary to dance outside your comfort zone, but that new samba is the magic key to your growth and happiness.
Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, “Things seem to be going so well for her; why isn’t MY life moving forward in the same way?”We’ve all felt a little envious at times when things aren’t going so great for us and others are seemingly soaring.
As women, we work for years to cultivate our careers – and many of us keep our radar up on those around us – noticing who has skyrocketed, who has stayed flat and who has disappeared. A sad truth is that many of us find ourselves comparing and basing our identify (aka “value”) on where we fit in and how our accomplishments stack up against others and their material success.
On a different path but along the same line, some women have spent their lives caring for loved ones and built a wonderful home life but just like the career gals, they are compelled to compare. Secretly doing some inner questioning around their parenting skills… are they doing as good a job as the other moms?Unfortunately this leaves them either feeling “proud and superior ” or ” insecure and inferior”.
To this point, I recently got into a conversation with a woman who told me she had invited a long time friend over with her kids for lunch and was thrown off her center because her own kids were having melt downs. She shared that her friend took over and with total ease and grace put together a fabulous lunch for them.
Because she was not firmly in her foundation she let the stealth committee of her mind hi-jack her confidence and began to feel very inadequate preventing her from seeing this gesture from her friend as a gift.
The challenge is we expect so much of ourselves..we expect ourselves to be perfect. That’s a lot, a lot, of pressure baby!
The truth is there will always be someone who is better at something than we are and conversely we will be better at something than someone else.
The key to your joy is recognizing this and accepting yourself for who you are instead of constantly comparing to get your value.
Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It is too true. The moment we begin to compare ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of any potential joy.
Instead of giving in to the temptation to compare yourself with another person, put these three ideas into action to compassionately give yourself the gift of joy…
1. Try something new. To truly feel good about yourself focus on keeping passion alive in your life, you want to be doing new things on a regular basis. It doesn’t always take a lot of money, but it will make you become a more interesting person and give you life again. Not only will you feel excited and vibrant, you’ll have interesting things to contribute to conversations.
2. Relinquish control. Ever notice yourself trying to control a situation, even if it’s a small thing? Experiment with “letting go.” Let your partner choose the restaurant or pick the movie, and trust that the other person can make the right choice. You’ll be surprised at how freeing this simple act is!
3. Give yourself a smile. When you catch yourself comparing your life to other people’s lives, just look in the mirror, take a deep breath, give yourself a smile and a wink and say, “Hi beautiful! You are amazing just the way you are, so there’s no need to compare!”
If you want a hands-on and individualized strategy to give yourself more joy, click HERE to set up a time to chat with me
Maybe you hold a great job that took years to cultivate, or you’re married to a kind and generous man but the relationship has gotten stagnant and you’re not sure why.
You might think, “Boy, this all looks great. So why do I feel so dull?”
Often, we work so hard to get to the destination that we completely forget to nurture the special spark of creativity and play that we started with.
Here are 5 things you can do today to free yourself from the feeling of “stuck.” I promise that you’ll feel the sparkle begin to stir within after you try even one of them!
Ay yi yi! Don’t believe that hooey for a second!
You can have both a deeply connected, loving relationship and continue to see the success you enjoy in your career. You don’t have to choose between the two – that’s a complete myth.
Why? Because it all comes down to your beliefs.
What you choose to believe about yourself and your life will always be reflected in your outer experience. This means that you may have to do some work around your belief systems (for instance, if you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t buy it – life just happens – I don’t have anything to do with the things that happen to me” then you know there might be some self-reflection in the cards).
The truth is life happens THROUGH us not TO us.
So yes, there is work to be done, honeychild, but the rewards at the other end bring a new passionate magic to your life. Hallelujah!!!
Many career women forget to hold a vision for themselves detailing what their life would look like if it included a wonderful, expansive and sizzling partnership in addition to a successful work life.
Going from day to day with that vision can change everything: it is a blissful reminder to step into our feminine energy after a long day at the office. After all, two men in a heterosexual marriage won’t work! A lot of successful women try to be the alpha male in the partnership, and unconsciously push men away.
So, how can you continue to enjoy the success you have at work while at the same time experience a deeply passionate and fulfilling relationship with a significant other?
Ask yourself these five questions:
1. Do I have a vision for my success in love AND money?
2. Do I believe in my vision, truly feel that it is possible?
3. Can I feel the difference between my masculine and feminine energies?
4. Am I actively choosing to flip into my feminine when I’m interacting with my partner or potential partners?
5. Am I actively choosing self-love by caring for myself and honoring my needs?
Staying present and conscious in the moment – making choices that honor both your career AND love life is the magic bullet that will give you both:))
When you think about summertime, does a big smile creep across your face? Summer is a season that evokes happy memories for many of us: the days are longer, the weather is inviting and it feels like opportunities for new adventures wait around every corner!
You don’t have to jet away on a luxury vacation to feel re-inspired and reinvigorated this season. Even if you have career or family obligations that keep you at home, you still have a chance to put the sparkle back into your step during the hottest months of the year.
Start by asking yourself these two questions… What can I do that will bring freshness to my life? What would I love?
Sometimes we forget how simple it can be to do things that we love. Bring some of your favorite aspects of summer to life by identifying what they are and planning to do them. A backyard BBQ, a special cake that your mother used to make every summer, a picnic at the park…
Imagine for a moment the first step you could take today to do something that really lights your fire.
Close your eyes and envision yourself taking this first step.
Maybe it’s as easy as opening up the paper to see what events are happening locally this weekend, or putting on some music that inspires you to jump up and get your groove on. Maybe you do something spontaneous like heading out of town for the week-end with no destination in mind other than “adventure”!
Spark your imagination by looking on Pinterest for playful ideas and create a summer bucket list of fun things to do. That’s what one of my savvy Sparkle clients recently did and now she has an abundance of exciting things for her family to do all summer long.
If you don’t spend a lot of time with your friends, make this part of your summer routine to get the energy moving. Many studies have shown that oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone, is released when girlfriends get together and engage in lots of connecting and bonding.
Whatever you feel will make your summer sparkle, do it as soon as you can, and do it with people who make your heart sing!