Do you still carry a torch for your ex? Do you feel like no matter what you try you can’t let go? It’s like he’s claimed squatting rights in your mind and you can’t kick him out!
Not the best scenario – especially this time of year…everyone knows summer is the time for LOVE!
Over the years, I have witnessed clients, friends and even strangers so hooked into their past relationships that they let LOVE slip through their fingers during these warm sunny months.…so I have a question for you?
Who is responsible for the care of your heart?
Who decides how you are loved and respected and who you show love and respect to?
Don’t answer too quickly. Take a breath and go deep. Could you have given that job to someone who is no longer with you? Are you blaming yourself or him for the failings of your lost love?
If you answer yes, don’t despair. I know what it is like to mistakenly place responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else and I also know how to reclaim my magnificence and today I know my value.
Why is it important to extricate yourself from the past while maintaining respect for your Ex? Simple.
Ahhhh the warm sensual days of summer have arrived…thoughts of romantic adventures dance thru your mind…until you stop and remember that the original heat, fire and chemistry are long ago forgotten, you and your sweetheart have settled into life. Children may have arrived on the scene or your two careers may be absorbing a big chunk of your time. Economic worries and aging parents might be pulling at your heart.
Things have changed between you and your man and you are not happy about it, right?
If you are like most of the women who contact me every day about their lackluster love lives, I bet your life is scheduled in lines and columns on a spread sheet. Did you know that this manic need to organize your time is part of the masculine energy that has been running your life?
More true than ever before, as women are stepping up to match men in earning power, being feminine is often viewed as being weak. Let me tell you a little secret, nothing could be farther from the truth. There is nothing more powerful than a woman in touch with her inner essence, that charismatic sparkle.
That sparkle, the shining light in the core of your being is leading you, whether you are aware of it or not, to the truth of who you are. Your masculine hard working self is important and you need it but unless you know how to access your femininity, your man will see you as a friend or buddy but not as a lover.
1. Planning: Everything is on your Daytimer, right? Is your love life? Probably not. Just as you plan your day or week, it is critical that you schedule time to nurture your relationship.
Some times my clients complain that this takes the romance out and I stop them in their tracks with this question: “How’s it working for you?” Dr. Phil asks that question all the time. If you are not getting enough romance, why not try scheduling, it can’t get you less romance than you have now, can it?
2. Prioritize: Once you schedule “Romance Time” on your calendar, treat it as you would the most important business meeting of your career. – No cancelling no matter what. Commit to creating a new connection with your man. Even if all you do is sit on the couch and watch a movie, scheduling that as Romance Time on your calendar sets an intention and that intention changes everything.
3. Prepare: Put yourself in your man’s shoes. Look at life through his eyes. What would HE consider fun? Where can you take him that would light him up? This is the time to let the party planner you out of the bag.Think FUN.
4. Propose: Think about this – what if you wanted to reconnect with a client who had disappeared for awhile? You would prepare a proposal, right? Well, your man may need a proposal too. To propose means to put forward for discussion. Don’t force your desires for reconnection on your man. Gently propose a change and be willing to listen.
5. Play: Once you have your plan in place it is time to let your Sparkle shine. Your man fell in love with that spark in you. Your playful flirty self was fully engaged and he loved that. Put aside the petty hurts and give him amnesty for a bad habit that is plaguing you.
Choose to see him with a sense of humor. This change in attitude will do wonders restoking his passion.
Are you ready to start? Summer is here, there’s not a minute to spare!
As women, we’re encouraged to “claim our feminine power.” But how? And what exactly is feminine power anyway?
The whole idea has been a bit confusing for forward-thinking females ever since the ’60s, and the women who have tried to claim their feminine power have experienced not only a loss of connection, balance, and intimate bonding in relationships, but a loss of personal happiness too.
With so few powerful feminine role models for women to emulate, “power” has been misinterpreted as masculine. And, as we donned the man’s boot, his uniform and became fluent in the man’s language, yes, we gained material success, but we lost the art and pleasure of being a woman.
Between daily demands, never-ending to-do lists, care-giving, and single-parenting, life is be overwhelming enough. And living at such a frenetic pace can lull you into a false sense of happiness . After all, you are doing all the right things, so life is good, right? Meanwhile, deep down there’s this nagging little voice that won’t go away, telling you there’s something missing. And there is.
To put it simply, you’ve lost touch with your feminine essence. Consequently, romantic relationships are either suffering or non-existent. Instead of soft, fun, flowing conversations, G-force power struggles are dominating.
That playful, sexy spirit got buried along with passionate, romantic adventures. Like many women, you may feel and look like a diamond in the rough rather than an enchantress lit by her own inner glow.
Fortunately, finding the road back to your sparkling diamond essence — what I believe is your true feminine power — is easier than you think … but you’ll need to identify and give up distractions that are toxic to your connection…to your authentic self. So, no more saying “yes” to every request that comes your way. Let your drama queen friend cry on someone else’s shoulder. Set boundaries with your kids, mate, boss and anyone else who crosses the line.
Let go of the rescue role. Most importantly, trade some of your daily to-dos for some personal pampering pleasures. Here is a short list of ways you can feed your feminine essence:
Just got back from a whirlwind week fulfilling a few of of my bucket list dreams! Went to Baltimore (a city I’ve always wanted to go to and fell in love with) to attend a powerful Dream Building event and then spent a few days in the Big Apple (a city I LOVE and haven’t visited for over a decade!) for a fun girlfriend get away!!!
And it made me think of you…sometimes we need a new experience or a boost to get our authentic happiness mojo flowing.
Would you like to know one of the most powerful ways to increase your vava-voom feminine essence and love vibration so you can create the sensual, zestful, playful life you desire?
The truth is, most women want to feel their feminine radiance, their sensuality and their divine – yes, it is divine! – feminine power. Why? Because when you feel these things, when you live in them, life is more joyful than you can imagine.
Unfortunately, many of us women have gotten trapped in a cycle of “take charge, get it done” energy. We’re out of balance, trying to control everything, and feeling stressed about life in general.
Truthfully, even the most evolved woman will occasionally feel out of touch with her strengths.
And you know what, ~Contact.FirstName~? When we’re out of touch with our strengths, we lose the ability to attract men ( or keep the man in our life hooked in), we lose the natural feminine sparkle we were born with, and we stop having fun.
Life starts to feel like a chore instead of a magical, wonderful adventure.
Owning your authentic feminine essence is the most magnetic power a woman can possess…and if you’re feeling out of sorts due to stress or misaligned energy, you won’t want to miss my upcoming webinar: Good Lovin’ Vibrations!
You see, years ago I discovered that when Tuning Fork Sound Therapy is combined with guided visualization, we women can step into our magnificent feminine radiance almost effortlessly.
We can let go of the stress and compulsive negative thought patterns and instead walk into an alluring realm where we easily create passion and zest for life!
And you’d better believe that men are wildly attracted to this energy.
So, if you’ve been feeling…
- Overwhelmed, anxious, and lackluster…
- Like men just don’t look at you anymore…
- Like the pizzazz has simply left your current relationship (or your dating life, if you’re single)…
…Then I highly suggest that you join me on Wednesday, June 15th for a complimentary webinar, Good Lovin’ Vibrations!
On the webinar, I’m going to tell you exactly how Tuning Fork Sound Therapy works and how you can use it right away to start feeling more energized, playful and fulfilled in your life.
Trust me, as soon as you open the door to this incredible and deep work, your life will feel much different.
I can’t wait to see you there!
Have you ever made a judgment or jumped to an unsavory conclusion before giving someone or something a chance?
Perhaps taking a firm stance, getting all rigid and closed off – absolutely certain you are right?!
Boy I sure have – not a pretty picture!
As a matter of fact I remember a time I tried out a new church a few years back. As I parked my car and started walking down the sidewalk towards the sanctuary I found myself immediately going into judgment- ugh, church in an industrial park? The people here don’t look like “my peeps”. It doesn’t have that “feeling” that makes me comfortable blah, blah, blah.
Sound familiar? Have you made similar assumptions?
I let my discomfort get the best of me and I felt myself contracting, my heart closing and disconnecting from the people in the room and then feeling a little superior (a common defense mechanism that pops up when you are feeling insecure, like you don’t fit in) Nonetheless, geeeeez! In church yet!
Then I remembered a powerful phrase my work out coach had given me – I’m paraphrasing here but the gist of it is….
My coach used to say, “the ability to master the mind and be comfortable in discomfort will get you big results and allow you to push the envelope in all area’s of your life.”
Well she was right. I kept breathing and asking God to help me be receptive to this new experience and guess what? My ears and eyes started to open and as the ministers (husband and wife) began to speak I received exactly what I needed in their message. I was going through a tough time with my family and what they said could not have been more perfect.
My heart began to soften and expand and I followed their instruction to release what was on my heart to God, to know that if someone was throwing rocks at me and doors were closing that He had something far better in store for me.
Almost instantly my tears stopped and I felt a wave of peace and strength fill my body. It was so sudden it took my breath away and I stopped for a second waiting for the sadness to return – but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, the peace just kept increasing only with tons of love too and as I looked around the church it was as if I could see each person with fresh eyes – I was able to SEE their light. No more judgment. Gone.
And the person I felt betrayed by I saw as an angel – surrounded by sparkling light – in her highest element and I was able to send her love. Freedom!
Why am I sharing this experience with you?
In hopes of bringing you more understanding of how we sabotage our happiness, joy and relationships with judgment… and how we can overcome it.
Had I stayed in judgment I would not have had the opportunity to heal, to see the beauty in every person around me – to connect and feel like I was part of something greater – to open my heart, feel forgiveness and learn a valuable lesson.
So be honest. How often do you feel uncomfortable and go into judgment, disconnect and close yourself off?
Next time you find yourself in discomfort, use this tool:
- Breathe deeply 3x – preferably to a count of 4 both on the inhale and the exhale
- Ask The Divine/God/Source to help you stay open, to stay in your softness
- With an earnest heart ask The Divine/God/Source to lift the emotion that’s coming up with the discomfort causing the judgment, the critical commentary.
Allowing yourself to let go will open your heart and help you create those fun-filled, loving, deeply connected relationships you were born to experience. Just like summer, freedom is right around the corner and boy does it feel sweet!
Your sister sends you a text. She needs help with the kids tomorrow afternoon so she can get to the hairdresser appointment she scheduled for herself a month ago.
Your best friend calls. She’s had a fight with her man and wants to vent. Your boss calls and asks if you can show up to work an hour earlier than usual and plan to work an extra shift because a co-worker just called in sick. Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
When your friend called, you were about to run out the door for a jog. You, too, had a hair appointment scheduled for tomorrow, in dire need of your own “root control,” plus had made plans to meet up with another friend after work tonight. But, how can you tell these people who need you about your own plans? You decide you can’t. You won’t. You’ll suck it up and be there for those reaching out to you. After all, they need your help more than you need anything for yourself. Right?
Are you a nurture ninja? Is it normal for you to set aside your own needs? Do you sometimes dismiss that you have needs of your own?
After you call everyone back and let them know you’ll be there, you look in the mirror and wonder where your youthful glow has gone. You wonder when you lost the sparkle in your eyes.
Did you know you have an ally? It’s true, your fabulous feminine side is waiting in the wings to help you reinvent your life!
Thank goodness, because have you ever felt like it’s up to you to do everrrrrrrrrything?
Sure you’re capable, competent and a rock star woman who can handle anything, but deep down don’t you long for a man to step up to the plate and take over at times? I mean mama mia come on now, some support would be nice, right?
I totally hear you. When I was married I was always caught up in this conflict- wanting my other half to take care of something, anything – but if I had to wait longer than a nanosecond it was too late, I took it on myself. Because I could do it quicker and better myself…sound familiar, love?
Well this proved pretty disastrous in my relationship and when things crumbled I had to cop to the fact I’d been living in my masculine energy way more than my feminine.
Why this is important for you:
Maybe you’re noticing you’re living a similar action oriented life and are feeling EXHAUSTED but not sure how to get off the hamster wheel.
I was exhausted too and invited a good friend to help me SEE me. After he pointed out I needed a refresher course in the fine art of being a woman, I realized I had to make major changes that were uncomfortable for me. Breathing life into my feminine nature became my sole focus. Even though flirting and dressing in a more girly style were good first steps, I knew that this was more than a surface job.
I had to dig deep and create a new mindset if I was going to pull this off.
Years of conditioning and choice making based in fear and doubt had left me in a vicious tug of war between “I can do this” and “This is too hard.” Even though I had seen evidence that my feminine nature had a power and magic all of its own, I still reverted to my old masculine style of rigid control most of the time.
Thankfully, an idea floated up during one of my never miss meditations. Maybe I could find a feminine role model to get some ideas. Certain I knew someone who was living out the sensual feminine life style that I craved, I searched my address book (yes that was back in the day LOL but I have to admit I still prefer an address book I can visually see!) for help.
Well, two names jumped right out to me. I dialed them up and arranged a tet-a-tet to learn about their natural sensual sense – and believe you me, I took notes! As we were talking I watched their gestures, their stance, their faces and most importantly, I watched how men acted around them.
These women had an ease and comfort with themselves that I couldn’t relate to. They exuded sexiness. Their flirtiness was so natural and engaging that when they came into the room, all of the men looked their way and the single men flocked to them.
With their support and counsel, I stepped gingerly into the ring. I was scared, nervous and wanted to throw up, but I was determined. If these ladies could do it, by golly, I could do it too. Although I stumbled a bit along the way, eventually I found a sense of confidence and became comfortable allowing my sensual self to awaken.
I even discovered that if I assigned my masculine side the job of organizing and expediting the birth of my feminine side, I could create an inner congruence that truly transformed my relationship with myself.
If you don’t have a flirty role model, you might pick someone in pop culture you admire. Or look to historical figures – Princess Diana was a fabulous flirt. That fantastic sideways glance of hers was killer and her uber charm seemed to ooze effortlessly.
I’m not suggesting you are not enough on your own or that you have to be something other than yourself; no, it is just that without a well developed feminine side, it’s helpful to study a woman who has that “it” factor and then make it your own unique essence.
The exciting news is it’s possible! All you have to do is create a plan and take actionable steps to get you there. Now there is one caveat, this is not about comparing yourself—it will just make you feel less than. One trick I do to keep my role models from intimidating me, or rather my shy little girl feminine Self, is to be grateful for the gift they are giving me by living fully into their most magnificent Self.
Being inspired by others is God’s gift to you—His way of giving you an example to learn from so that you will know how to manifest the same in your life.
Here’s how you do it:
- Frame a picture a celebrity, public figure, relative, or friend you admire and place it in clear view so that you are reminded of the traits you want to embody.
- Write down what makes them so sensual; their attitude, their behavior and their language.
- Take time every day to look at the photo of your Feminine Flirty Role Model and say out loud, “I honor your traits of ______________ , and know I can own them too! I deserve to be cherished and supported.”
- Sit in a chair, close your eyes and breathe into this affirmation. Pull the persona into your core with each breath. What it would be like to possess these qualities for yourself.
- Thank God that your subconscious mind is working night and day instilling the new demeanor you desire and willingness to ask for the support you crave.
Do this for 30 days and notice how your mind opens up, how your thoughts and movements change – even if its subtle. All you need is a 1% shift and you can gain HUGE results. As you let go of your “I can do it myself” Self and slide into your feminine essence pay attention to the support that shows up! Happy shifting, love!
When I woke up this morning I was thinking about you.
Wondering what I could share with you today that would bring more love and joy into your life – not just in this moment but repeatedly, in your everyday life. Something simple and powerful.
And instantly a successful technique that I use and teach my clients popped into my mind.
This process not only opens and softens your heart; it raises your love vibe within 60 seconds.
What you need to know:
If you want to attract more love into your life it’s crucial to BE in the same vibration. You know that saying, “water finds its own level?” well it’s the same with love and actually everything in life – you must BE what you desire in order to draw it to you.
Using this technique before a book signing not only allowed me to experience amazing heartfelt connections, it brought opportunity too; a very cute guy asked me out and a lovely lady invited me to do 3 more book signings at different locations.
Click on the video below – I want you to attract whatever it is your heart desires, so watch this short 2 minute video to get your love vibe soaring!!!
Are you blaming yourself for past relationship problems? Here is the answer you have been looking for.
Everyone knows spring is the time for fresh new starts and cleaning out the clutter….but what if you are still haunted by your Ex or a partner’s affair? Over the years, I have watched my clients, friends and even strangers so hooked into their past dramas that they weren’t in a space to let new LOVE in.…so I have a question for you?
Have you delegated the care of your heart to someone who is either no longer with you or doesn’t deserve that precious gift? Are you blaming yourself or him for the failings of your lost love?
If you answered yes, you are not alone. Many women are in the same boat. I too mistakenly placed responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else in the past but thankfully I learned the tools to reclaim my Diamond Power and today I know my value.
Why is it important to make peace with past or troubled relationships? Simple. Now that the bond is broken,
Your ability to regroup and rebuild your self esteem will go much faster if you appreciate the good and the bad that your relationship brought to your life. Yes, even the BAD. That will allow you the freedom to start enjoying your life again.
If your Ex or partner behaved badly, or broke your heart you may not want to let go of the “he did me wrong” song and hey I know it hurts to be deceived and rejected but it hurts more to hang onto it. I bet you anything that you got so involved with him and his life that you have taken all the focus off your wonderful self. You are beautiful and amazing and deserve a love-filled life!
It is time for YOU!
Here is a short Self Respect quiz to check it out:
1. When is the last time you congratulated yourself for something you did or do you always see what you didn’t get done?
2. Do you notice when you are tired and stop to nurture yourself or are you driven to manic activity with no rest?
3. Are you an over achiever pushing yourself constantly and never feeling good enough?
4. Do you compare yourself to others and see yourself as less than they are?
5. Are you stuck blaming him for your low self-esteem?
In other words, do you respect, love and totally accept yourself?
If you don’t treat yourself well, no one else will either. You teach others how to respect you by how you respect yourself.
You will find clues in life patterns that started in childhood.
How did your parents treat each other – were they respectful? If judging and blaming was the norm, chances are you suffered from emotional and verbal abuse, not because your parents meant to harm you but because they were blind to how their actions were impacting you.
If the only time you got positive attention was when you accomplished something, you can bet you confused those accolades for LOVE.
Women who battle performance addiction and are insatiable people pleasers are my favorite clients! Once you know how to unleash your god-given spark…what you were put here to express, there is no holding you back!
Even though as a child, you didn’t have the ability to sort out fact from fiction and believed everything your parents and authority figures told you, once you find your sparkle, your truth, you will finally see that their beliefs were based on THEIR experiences and had nothing to do with you at all.
The truth is, they meant no harm—they were just repeating the patterns they grew up with. The big difference is that you are reading articles like this. You WANT to change your patterns. You WANT to find LOVE and SELF RESPECT.
What you must get is that your current view of yourself is not who you are. The reality is you were born perfect. A shimmering diamond of light vibrates at the core of your being. This is your true identity – your Diamond Power.
This unique essence, your truth, is so incredibly SPECIAL and VALUABLE that when you start to claim it, you feel the Real Love you were born to experience. And that is the ultimate freedom.
Here is a short exercise to help you take steps right now to find that Inner Sparkle that will set you free to find the Love you deserve:
Sit in a comfortable chair and take in several deep breaths. Allow your body to relax and sink into the chair. Imagine a beam of pure, sparkling Divine white light coming down from the heavens and shining on you like a spotlight on a dark stage.
See the darkness around you and feel the warmth and comfort of this pure light. Now let the light enter in to the top of your head illuminating you from within. Imagine this light dropping to the core of your Being, see your heart light up just like a Tiffany diamond showcased under the brightest of lights.
Like a lotus flower of light, notice how the facets of this gem open into new waves of sparkling electricity with every breath. Repeat this simple phrase 7 times. “I am open to the magnificence that is me.” Each time you connect to this energy, you will feel a deeper connection. Once you turn your attention inward and seek your Divine Diamond Spark, the past will be the farthest thing from your mind and heartJ)
Are you blocking yourself from love?
If you’re a strong, capable, independent woman, you may absolutely be keeping love at arms length without even realizing it! I know that’s hard to hear but it’s true.
Here’s what you need to know:
It’s wonderful to be able to take care of yourself, but if you are in a romantic relationship and you’re favoring your masculine side you are probably creating a wedge between you and your man! And the crazy thing is we don’t even see it!
I hear about this dilemma all the time with my female clients. The truth is we are so very capable – the trick is to be discerning with our capabilities. It’s crucial we learn when and how to flip to feminine so we stop blocking love unknowingly. It truly is a blind spot ladies!!!
You may ask- “Why?” Arguing you like being capable – it makes you feel empowered. And I totally get it, but here’s the thing – we all want to experience true love. And whether you are in a relationship or single, women with masculine energy create an invisible barricade against men, hindering their own ability to attract and maintain healthy, loving relationships.
Ay yi yi, is that what you want?
To avoid this wedge you want to get honest and ask yourself the question,
“Am I blocking love?”
Get honest and ask yourself, “ Do I exude masculine energy?” Millions of women in today’s world have ramped up their masculine sides. It’s been necessary to embrace the male traits in order to be successful in business, run households and accomplish endless day-to-day tasks. Unfortunately, there is a price to be paid for this yin-yang imbalance. When you lose touch with your yin (femininity), and amplify your yang (masculinity), you create an unseen armor against men and love.
You see, inside of each of us are the traits and characteristics of both masculine and feminine energy. The masculine side is driven, competitive, protective and solution-oriented. The feminine side is collaborative, multi-tasking, intuitive, receptive, magnetic and flowing. Balancing the two is a beautiful dance. When in harmony, your masculine and feminine aspects are complementary, not opposing, and interact to achieve great success in all aspects of life, including love.
However, it’s often true that successful, independent women over-utilize their masculine energy. While your masculine energy can propel your career, it can also wreak havoc in your relationships by blocking love. Here are the five ways that you block love when you exude masculine energy:
1. You send the message: “You’re not needed.” Are you so independent, capable and strong that it makes a man feel like he has nothing of value to offer? Men need to feel needed. It helps enhance their esteem and makes them feel great when they can help you. If you send the message “I am perfectly capable of doing it all myself, thank you very much,” you’ll leave no room for your man to show his love and support. After being shut down, your partner may search outside of your relationship for a way to fill his deep-seeded need to contribute.
2. You emasculate your man. If you’re the type of woman who “wears the pants” in the relationship, you’re forcing your partner to be the one wearing the dress, meaning, if you operate more in your masculine, your partner will be more in his feminine. For most men, this feminine energy is difficult to maintain. Even a sensitive man needs to be in touch with his masculinity. Men operating from the feminine become exhausted and depleted and thus will experience an urge to pull away or shut down.
3. You lose touch with yourself. Allowing your masculine side to dominate your life will rob you of your radiance. It disconnects you from your essential feminine essence. You absolutely shine when you embody your unique feminine radiance! Connecting to your femininity is essential to nurturing your soul and connecting with your playful, sensual, authentic Self. From this joyful feminine energy, you become allluring to men who seek to love and adore you.
4.You become unattractive. Masculine women aren’t attractive to men because opposites attract. A successful, healthy, masculine man will be searching for an authentic, feminine woman. Even if you are a beautiful woman, men will likely find you unattractive if you are living from your masculine energy.
True desirability has more to do with the way a person makes us feel than by how they look. Real magnetic attraction is created when a person makes us feel wonderful. Men feel wonderful when they are in their authentic masculine energy. A feminine woman knows how to make her man feel like a man. This causes him to feel so good; he is drawn to her like a powerful magnetic force.
5. You create competition. Masculine energy is competitive. If you’re vying for power in your relationship, you’re killing the connection to love. Competing with your man sends him a signal that you are opposing forces rather than a team. Happy, bonded relationships exist when each partner encourages and supports the other. If you’re busy trying to gain the upper hand and control your man, he’ll feel more like a servant than a partner, and your attraction to each other will wither away.
It’s time to remove the blocks to love! Women possess a sparkling brilliance when we’re connected to our raw feminine power. Knowing the ways your masculine energy blocks love allows you to make conscious choices to embrace your femininity. This return to your divine, feminine energy will remove the blocks to love and open the doors to a juicy and fulfilling relationship.