4 Ways to Break Your Bad Habits
Spring is a fabulous time of year to take stock. And I’m not just talking about what’s in your closet – I’m talking about what’s in your heart, mind and soul!
If you’ve been struggling to make your dreams a reality, despite putting in the time and effort necessary to achieve them there may be something—a belief, an assumption or a way of viewing the world—that is holding you back from living a life that sparkles with happiness and joy.
Your Beliefs Are as Committed as You Are
You know how it feels to be committed to something, right? You are ALL in, and that’s great! If what you’re committed to is something that serves your best interests.
But what if you’re unconsciously committing to a belief that’s blocking you in some way? For example, you may have an underlying belief that you’re not good enough, that you are undeserving or unworthy of love or happiness, that other people are smarter, prettier, more capable than you are and not even realize it!
And guess what? Those limiting beliefs inspire behaviors that don’t support the results you desire. That can create a feeling of being stuck and frustrated not knowing how to move forward. Perhaps you’ve experienced repeated failure, betrayal, or abandonment. Know this: it’s not your fault. You are trapped in a vicious cycle perpetuated by bad programming.
The Only Way Out is Through
A few years ago, I started working with a woman named Jane. Jane came to me after finalizing her second divorce. She had a lovely life, she was vivacious, and enjoyed spending time with her kids, but she’d never experienced true, deep love with a man. That was her dream.
Two things happened: first, Jane committed to discovering which limiting beliefs were blocking her. During one of our sessions she realized she had never felt acknowledged by her father. Additionally, she had been molested as a little girl. Jane was struggling against immense feelings of unworthiness and shame when it came to men.
Once we identified her limiting beliefs and reframed them, we installed new beliefs that would support Jane. Within a few short months, she met a man who treats her like a queen. I’m happy to report that they are still together today and enjoy a healthy, thriving passionate relationship with beautiful communication. This is possible for you too!
How Do You Break the Vicious Cycle of Limiting Beliefs?
The key to getting out of this cycle is to identify the specific beliefs that are wreaking havoc on your life and then reframe them so that they become healthy, nourishing, supportive beliefs.
You might be asking, “How do you do that?”
Here are a few tips to help you get started.
- Pay attention to your thoughts as they emerge. Ask yourself, “Is this a thought that is taking me towards my vision or away from it? If it’s one that’s derailing you, choose a more empowering thought to get you back on track.
- Commit to generative, nurturing thoughts: Know this, whatever you focus on, you will create more of the same. So, next time you hear a negative thought in your head, pause and invite in a positive one. Ask yourself what you would love instead. If you are not sure what you would love, simply take the toxic thought and turn it around. For example if you tell yourself everything is difficult, hard and challenging, start telling yourself that everything is easy, that you are highly competent and capable!
- Take action: Movement moves molecules! So if you’re someone who usually takes a backseat, be the first to voice your opinion. If you tend to delay in committing to something that will help you reach your goals, next time an opportunity presents itself, say an immediate “yes!”
- Make a declaration: Right here, right now I want you to commit to behavior that serves your highest interests. If that scares the heck out of you, then you know you’re headed in the right direction! Remember whatever you resist persists – so break your patterns and take the leap!
By following the above four tips you will build new supportive patterns and become the woman who is in harmony with her vision – closing the gap and manifesting her desires!! Whooohooo! What are you waiting for, start NOW!
xo
3 Tips to Stop Triggered Behavior
Alright, ladies, May is here! We’re going to celebrate the unofficial start of summer with a series of posts aimed at sparkling vibrancy! We’re going to be clearing space, literally and figuratively, to make way for bigger and better things. I want to kick off the month by talking about one of the most common stumbling blocks to your radiance and well-being: reactive behavior.
Do you find yourself dialing a friend to vent at every twist and turn of your awful breakup, dreadful friend drama or frustrating work expectations? OK gals, I can remember going through my divorce and having diarrhea of the mouth about every foul thing my husband did – and you know what? It didn’t make me feel any better, as a matter of fact, I always felt worse. If this is sounding familiar?
I promise you; you’re not alone. Yes, I know only too well how feelings of resentment, disappointment, and depression can drive you crazy. Sitting with those feelings is hard but trust me when I tell you that complaining about how others are mistreating you will only keep you in a downward spiral and leave you feeling empty.
So, what’s a gal to do? CLICK HERE for three great techniques to help you rise above your unconscious reactive behavior.
How to let go of your painful past
Are you still haunted by your EX or maybe a partners affair? Here is the answer you have been looking for.
Spring inspires new beginnings, fresh starts and cleaning out the clutter ( that includes all those toxic no good thoughts!)….so how about letting go of past relationship problems that have been stealing your vibrancy and joy? Over the years, I have watched clients, friends and even strangers so paral\yzed by past painful memories they weren’t able to let LOVE in.…so I have a question for you?
Have you given the care of your heart to someone who is either no longer with you or doesn’t deserve that precious gift? Or maybe you are having trouble opening your heart again to a partner who violated your trust. Are you blaming yourself or him for the loss of love in your life?
If you answered yes, you are not alone. Many women are in the same boat. I too mistakenly placed responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else in the past but thankfully I learned the tools to let go of the past and reclaim my heart – knowing I am in control of how I choose to feel!
Why is it important to make peace with past or troubled relationships? Simple. Now that the bond is broken,your ability to regroup and rebuild your self esteem will go much faster if you appreciate the good and the bad that your relationship brought to your life. Yes, even the BAD. That will allow you the freedom to start enjoying your life again.
If your Ex or partner behaved badly, or broke your heart you may not want to let go of the “he did me wrong” song and hey I know it hurts to be deceived and rejected but it hurts more to hang onto it. I bet you anything that you got so involved with him and his life that you have taken all the focus off your wonderful self. You are beautiful and amazing and deserve a love-filled life!It is time for YOU!
Here is a short Self Love quiz to check it out:
- When is the last time you congratulated yourself for something you did or do you always see what you didn’t get done?
- Do you notice when you are tired and stop to nurture yourself or are you driven to manic activity with no rest?
- Are you an over achiever pushing yourself constantly and never feeling good enough?
- Do you compare yourself to others and see yourself as less than they are?
- Are you stuck blaming him for your low self-esteem?In other words, do you respect, love and totally accept yourself?
If you don’t treat yourself well, no one else will either. You teach others how to love and respect you by how you love and respect yourself.You will find clues in life patterns that started in childhood.
How did your parents treat each other – were they respectful? If judging and blaming was the norm, chances are you suffered from emotional and verbal abuse, not because your parents meant to harm you but because they were blind to how their actions were impacting you.
If the only time you got positive attention was when you accomplished something, you can bet you confused those accolades for LOVE.
Women who battle performance addiction and are insatiable people pleasers are my favorite clients! Once you know how to unleash your god-given spark…what you were put here to express, there is no holding you back!
Even though as a child, you didn’t have the ability to sort out fact from fiction and believed everything your parents and authority figures told you, once you find your sparkle, your truth, you will finally see that their beliefs were based on THEIR experiences and had nothing to do with you at all.
The truth is, they meant no harm—they were just repeating the patterns they grew up with. The big difference is that you are reading articles like this. You WANT to change your patterns. You WANT to find LOVE and SELF RESPECT.
What you must get is that your current view of yourself is not who you are. The reality is you were born perfect. A shimmering diamond of light vibrates at the core of your being. This is your true identity – your Diamond Power.
This unique essence, your truth, is so incredibly SPECIAL and VALUABLE that when you start to claim it, you feel the Real Love you were born to experience. And that is the ultimate freedom.
Here is a short exercise to help you take steps right now to find that Inner Sparkle that will set you free to find the Love you deserve:
- Sit in a comfortable chair and take in several deep breaths.
- Allow your body to relax and sink into the chair. Imagine a beam of pure, sparkling Divine white light coming down from the heavens and shining on you like a spotlight on a dark stage.
- See the darkness around you and feel the warmth and comfort of this pure light.
- Now let the light enter in to the top of your head illuminating you from within.
- Imagine this light dropping to the core of your Being, see your heart light up just like a Tiffany diamond showcased under the brightest of lights.
Like a lotus flower of light, notice how the facets of this gem open into new waves of sparkling electricity with every breath. Repeat this simple phrase 7 times. “I am open to the magnificence that is me.” Each time you connect to this energy, you will feel a deeper connection. Once you turn your attention inward and seek your Divine Diamond Spark, the past will be the farthest thing from your mind and heart 🙂
P.S. If you really long to make new friends and meet other like-minded women who, just like you, are dedicated to becoming their best most sparkling Self, then I invite you to check out my 2018 Soul Sparkle Retreat, July 19th-22nd – at the beautiful Italian-esque Westlake Village Inn.
This exclusive retreat is limited to just 10 women. I have 2 spots left, If you want to be one of them, email me today at Sherri@unleashyoursparkle.com.
The Importance of Friends
Spring is a fantastic time to reconnect with your girlfriend! And I’m not talking about putting together a brunch where all you do is sit around complaining about the men in your life (or lack of) or indulging in gossip.
I’m talking about some serious, soul sister quality time where you drop down into your heart and engage in ways that inspire the release of that fabulous feel-good chemical oxytocin.
Sometimes referred to as “the love hormone,” oxytocin is released after sex, after childbirth and, when we spend time with our closest friends. It’s not surprising then that research points to longer, healthier lives for women with large social circles, while those who isolate themselves experience higher levels of stress hormones (which result in reduced well-being).
To make matters worse, isolation is a vicious cycle. If you’re already feeling lonely and depressed, you’re less likely to go out and engage with other people, which makes it that much harder to make new friends and widen your social circle.
Why Do We Lose Touch with Our Friends?
Sometimes it’s a matter of scheduling or geography. Sometimes we’re afraid of being rejected. You might think, “Oh, my friend has so much going on, I’ll just wait for her to contact me.” Then, when she doesn’t (because she’s not a mind-reader) you feel even more rejected, creating the exact scenario you were trying to avoid.
If you’re married, it’s possible that you’ve made your husband the center of your universe. But even in the closest of marriages, your husband will never fill the same space that your girlfriends do. Men are fixers. They won’t just sit there and chat with you about what’s happening.
Your girlfriends are going through the same challenges that you are—divorce, health issues, aging parents, problems with your kids, weight gain, hormones, all of it. So, prioritize your girlfriend time!
I have one group of friends that’s made it a point to get together on each of our birthdays for the last 40 years! If that’s too much of a commitment for your friend group, then plan one annual get together. It doesn’t have to be some huge trip so long as you make a point of creating something special together.
How to Reconnect If You’ve Let Those Friendships Fall Away
If you haven’t spoken to one of your friends in a while, a simple text to let her know that you miss her and would love to connect is a great way to open up the line of communication.
We often avoid reaching out because we think we’re going to need a marathon phone call to fill each other in on everything that’s been happening but that’s really not true. Five minutes is better than nothing, trust me. Let your friend know up front you only have a few minutes but wanted to connect and you’ll be amazed how uplifted, warm and yummy you’ll both feel with that short chat.
Ways to Build Your Social Circle
If you’re someone who has a hard time making friends or if you’ve lost touch with old friends and are trying to rebuild your social circle, here are some easy ways to get started:
Join a women’s business networking group
Find a women’s group at your church
Take a class at your local community center
Sign up for a weekend yoga retreat or workshop
If deeply connected friendship is important to you then make the commitment today to either reach out to one of your soul sisters OR spread your wings and do something different to meet a new friend.
Life is meant to be shared and enjoyed so don’t delay, connect NOW!!!
P.S. If you really long to make new friends and meet other like-minded women who, just like you, are dedicated to becoming their best most sparkling Self, then I invite you to check out my 2018 Soul Sparkle Retreat, July 19th-22nd – at the beautiful Italian-esque Westlake Village Inn.
This exclusive retreat is limited to just 10 women. I have 2 spots left, If you want to be one of them, email me today at Sherri@unleashyoursparkle.com.
Connecting to Your Diamond Power
If you’ve been reading my blog recently, you know that I took an absolutely magical trip to Egypt last month. In my post, Lessons Learned in Egypt,
What Is Standing Between You and Love?
Spring has arrived ushering in a period of vibrant, feminine energy. Mother Nature is showing her stuff with blooming trees, bright sunshine and warmer temperatures. Now is the time to throw open your windows, ditch your winter wear and reconnect with your divine feminine essence.
For some women, especially the strong, independent women among us, this is easier said than done. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you are able to take care of yourself but here’s the thing: you may be creating an invisible wall between yourself and the men you’re trying to attract, hindering your ability to create and maintain healthy, loving relationships.
Ay yi yi, is this what you want? I’m guessing, the answer to that question is no.
So, here’s what you need to do:
Click here to find out if you have these 5 man repellent behaviors
How to “Weather” stormy times
Last week I flew to the east coast for new training and planned to meet up with a dear friend afterwards for several days of fun in the Big Apple. We had planned this girlfriend getaway at the beginning of the year and I was so looking forward to hanging out and exploring Soho, the meatpacking district, new restaurants, yoga, shopping, FUN!
After one day we discovered another mammoth Nor’easter snowstorm was confirmed to be on its way. Dang! Big change of plans.
Has that ever happened to you? Maybe not with the weather, but some area of your life is about to get stormy? You plan; you have expectations and then, bam! You see or feel a big storm brewing that has the potential to put a kibosh on the way you want things to go.
It can be very disappointing, can’t it? Might even make you angry or sad or frustrated. A part of you might even go into full denial thinking it won’t be that bad. Sound familiar?
I have to admit, that was me. I started going into denial – and then something happened that helped me move through this situation with a new perspective, ease and grace.
Through the disappointment and denial, a small inner voice surfaced saying, “ Your life will be much easier if you leave early. You may have another day of fun before the storm hits but your life will be chaos if you stay with your original departure plans. So much so you will lose the joy of what you’ve experienced so far.”
But boy was that other voice strong that was fighting for me to stay!
Enter CHOICE!
Remain in NYC, have another day of fun and then deal with the craziness of canceled flights – surely it will all work out???
OR
Leave early and avert the messiness, struggle and stress.
Even as I write this it seems like a no brainer, doesn’t it? Who would put themselves through such stress? But sometimes when we want something so badly, we aren’t flexible and we don’t think logically. That’s what was going on with me, my inner child was having a tantrum and wanted to stay and play. She wasn’t seeing the BIG picture. Can you relate?
Ultimately that intuitive voice of wisdom won out.
Boy was I glad it did – it saved me lots and lots and lots of stress!
On the plane ride home I reflected on the scenario. And what I realized and learned is that we all have “weather” – whether it’s produced by Mother nature or “life”. And we all have a vision of how we want things to go. How we choose to deal with it directly affects our inner happiness and peace of mind.
So consider this question, “Where in your life do you sense some “weather” on its way? Absolutely when things aren’t working out the way you want it can be very upsetting. Trust me I get it. However, when you let go of your attachment to your desired results, get quiet and listen to that inner intuitive voice you will empower yourself and bring about a calmer, healthier outcome.
What can you do to prevent or down-grade a big storm looming? It might be a situation with your partner, your boss, a parent or child or friend. Tuning in to your Diamond Power, that power within you, that is greater than you, will guide you to the best outcome. That said, the guidance might feel kinda scary or bring up some fears or turn you in a direction you aren’t crazy about, but it will ultimately make your life so much more peaceful and happy.
So is there an action you can take or a conversation you can have that would help you avoid a BIG storm?
What I learned and want to share is that ultimately, listening and following that inner guidance brings a better outcome than you could have ever imagined or planned.
In my case, once home I realized my original “travel day” was now a free unscheduled day and that thrilled me! It allowed me to be spontaneous, check out a nearby resort, collaborate with some friends and come up with some new ideas that will make my upcoming retreat even better!
What choice will you make?
Here’s to letting go, listening to your inner Diamond Power, and calming those impending storms!
How to Master Inner Peace
Have you ever had a sudden insight that made things crystal clear?
The kind that inspires such knowing there’s no room for confusion, doubt or skepticism?
Loooove when that happens, don’t you? It’s like a cosmic kiss!
So a few days ago, I was thrown such a kiss! I had woken up feeling kinda funky and decided to take a walk in the park to shift my energy and mindset. And even though I was having my usual morning chat with God, rather than letting Spirit flow through me, I was mentally trying to force and control my shift with no luck.
Have you ever done that?
Frustrated I asked, “Ok God, help me see what I need to see, know what I need to know and feel what I need to feel” and literally within seconds I was given a great gift – a wonderful insight.
Click here for God’s message to go from funk to fantastic!
2nd Lesson from Egypt
Last week we talked about the choice between staying connected to God’s peace within or indulging in the chaotic distractions of our outer world. I invited you to join me in a one-week challenge to become aware of your options and make a decision that serves your highest state of Being so you can maintain more joy in your life. How did you do?
I have to be honest and completely transparent about the last week for me – it was pretty up and down. My sister-in-law is in the hospital and I got completely riled up at the incompetency of the doctor who was treating her. Fortunately she was transferred to a different facility with higher quality care where she was diagnosed accurately and is receiving the meds she requires.
But until that happened it was a roller coaster of anger, fear and prayers. Boy did amnesia set in several times around staying in God’s peace!! Geeeez Louise!
I found myself getting extremely angry and emotional, blaming and judging the doctor. All stemming from my huge fear that his misdiagnosis and blunders might lead to losing my sister-in-law whom I love deeply – she’s been a big part of my life since I was 16.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? Where you feel helpless and you know your emotions are not contributing to a positive outcome but you are gripped by fear?
What do you do to turn a situation like this around?
Fortunately I caught myself and realized my fears and complaining about her poor care were not helping her get well or being a support to my brother. And the truth is, the doctors incompetency was not to be ignored, and it was reported; however, THE KEY was not to indulge in the situation – not to continue to put my attention on what was going wrong.
With those realizations I was able to turn my energy around to prayers of gratitude, seeing God’s healing, loving light flood her body bringing optimum health to every cell.
What I learned:
We all suffer from fear, from guilt, from challenges, from bad stuff happening – it’s part of being human. The thing is, those emotions are all low level and will attract more of the same so we have to ask ourselves, “Do I want more of this?” and if the answer is no, we make a choice IN THAT MOMENT to use our beautiful minds to turn the titanic around with a higher vibratory thought, a life generating thought.
This is our opportunity to build upon last week’s principle of “The One”, “The All” understanding as above, so below.
This week we look at the principle of Vibration. Everything vibrates. Our emotions are a good indicator of where we are vibrating. Fear, irritation and anger are all low vibrations. With our conscious awareness we can influence our emotions and increase our vibration creating different results. Now that’s pretty cool and empowering, isn’t it?
Since science has proven that what we attract is based on our vibration – it’s helpful to be aware of our thoughts and emotions – are they supporting a high vibration or a low vibration? If we want to attract better things into our life like more love, greater health, more success and prosperity and FUN times all we have to do is turn our attention vertically and open wide to God’s Infinite Love and wisdom.
When I was in Egypt I pressed my body and face against a hieroglyph on a wall in the Temple of Isis where they used to do high ceremonies.
I asked for a message.
What I instantly heard was so simple, so powerful, “Be grateful to God for EVERYTHING and all will work out well.”
Of course...GRATITUDE – one of the highest vibrations!!! Sometimes things are so simple we don’t see it especially if we have a pattern of struggle and lack. But the good news is, it really is that simple.
Try it now – name one thing you are grateful for and notice what shifts in your mind and body. Are you feeling more peaceful? If you aren’t moving towards a peaceful place continue a mantra of what you are grateful for until you feel calm within.
Now you have a very easy plan. When challenge, fear and guilt start to creep into your mind, make choices that support not only your highest good but everyone around you too. Look up, speak gratitude and fill up with the vibration of God’s Love. Wow what you will attract!! Sparkle Sister, life is about to get a whole lot easier! Yayyyyy!!!
Lessons learned in Egypt
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