In my last post, I wrote about how choosing to give – whether it’s a physical gift, or simply the gift of your smile, time or attention – can powerfully raise your vibration.
It can be tough to live in a “feel good state” during the holidays, when so many people are actually feeling sad, downtrodden, perhaps lonely or just uninspired. Are you challenged to feel happy with where you are at this time of year?
Today, I’d like to share an exercise with you that will certainly lift your spirits and help shift you into a “I welcome more love into my life” kinda space this holiday season.
Give Back to Others through Gratitude
It’s the end of the year. As 2017 winds down, we’re encouraged to reflect on the last 12 months and consider how our lives are different. Has your life changed in a positive way? Are you happy with where your life is at right now?
I also love to reflect on the people in my life: who has impacted me? Who has been generous and kind with me, and made a difference in my life?
A couple weeks ago I was given an assignment by my mentor to write a thank-you note to somebody who has touched my life. I took on the assignment whole-heartedly, and wrote a letter to an old friend who, back in 1999, said something that changed my life forever.
“Let’s start a business together, Sherri!” were her exact words.
And we did! That simple phrase, and the actions we took after, started me down a life-changing path that has not only taught me so much about myself, but brought me endless joy and fulfillment. I wrote her a thank-you note and mailed it to her. Then I forgot about it.
About a week later I received a phone call from her. She told me what a difference my note had made in HER life that day and how grateful she was to hear from me. What a wonderful gift she gave me in calling me, and we were able to reminisce and celebrate our appreciation of each other!
Give Back Consciously
Years ago, one of my clients was very frustrated in her marriage. Her husband didn’t seem to be emotionally invested, she was frequently angry and disappointed and secretly wondered if the marriage was about to collapse.
Instead of filing for divorce, she decided to shift her thoughts and write a love letter. She wrote about how grateful she was for all the ways he had shown up in their marriage, and she gave him the letter.
What a world of difference! After reading the letter, it was like she had a new husband! They had one of the best nights of their lives: he totally opened up, they had a great dinner together, and finally their hearts were able to reconnect.
In my book, I emphasize that when you give from the heart without any underlying motivation, your diamond power will ignite and light you up from the inside- bringing forth your irresistible charisma. Giving from the heart is the best investment you can make. You will always feel expanded and blissful when you give generously, without an agenda, and you will always find the key to your sparkling radiance in the act of giving.
This week, I present a CHALLENGE to you – I invite you to give back with all your heart. Give just to give. Set aside any fears of exposing yourself or feeling vulnerable or getting rejected… trust the process, and find a way to give to someone you love.
Let me know how it goes in the comments below – choose love!!!!
We’re supposed to believe that the holiday season is the “most wonderful time of the year,” but for many people, November and December can be the hardest time of year.
If you’ve been feeling down, lonely, depressed or generally just “blah” this month, you’re not alone! And if you’re going through tough times, I’ve got the perfect remedy for you.
This holiday season, you can say sayonara to sadness and raise your vibration and your spirits by focusing on this one thing. Whatever is going on in your life, I know that it can be a loving and peaceful season if you include this into your day.
There is love…and there is fear. That’s it – those are the only two emotions. You may call it something different like sadness, loneliness, or depression but if you look closer those love bandits fall under fear.
If you want to live with gusto you’ll need to be consciously and consistently kicking fear to the side. That’s the way you will reclaim your power to live out your heartfelt dreams and desires. And the truth is, You Can Do This!
You might be asking, how?
It’s about embracing life – living from your heart instead of your head and loving more! It’s about expressing your beautiful unique essence to the world – sharing your smiles, offering kindness and compassion to everyone, from the homeless to your loved ones, with a cheerful “not-attached-to–the-outcome” heart.
So how do we get there?
You have a good start! This month you’ve been diving into forgiveness and gratitude so your heart has been healing and opening and primed for more love.
Good for you! This is crucial because wow oh wow when you are happy and full of pure love you’re vibrating at such a high level it can be felt by others without you saying a word. Yes, indeedy, traveling at lightning speed our thoughts and feelings impact the world and every single being in it – it’s a juicy force!
When you embrace life, you’re not only blessing your loved ones and the planet, you are honoring your soul by expressing who you are in the fullest, most complete way. Plus it’s impossible for fear to co-exist with love. Remember, it’s either love or fear. So when you are swimming in the pool of love you have zero fear. Huge win wouldn’t you agree?
This alignment puts you in harmony with all that you desire and feels like you’re riding on the coat tails of God’s good. Easier said than done you might be thinking.
But what if it was EASY?
Try this on…it’s easy and blissful:
Love Your Life Exercise:
- Sit quietly with your eyes closed
- Bring to mind, as far back as you can remember, all the people who have touched your heart, shown you kindness, been there for you.
- FEEL the gift each person has been to you in your life.
- Visualize a stream of sparkling pink loving energy flowing to each person.
- In your mind, silently thank them.
- Give yourself a big hug acknowledging how blessed you are
- Rinse and repeat every morning
You’ve now dropped down into your heart and connected to love. From this high vibration place take an action step that moves you towards your vision and expect the best. Let this beautiful energy flow out – you are magnetic and will draw to you delightful opportunities, people and projects. Look at you, you are fully embracing life!!! Feels sooooo good, doesn’t it?
Start your day with this feel good practice and you will be setting yourself up for an exciting, sumptuous life adventure full of love and happiness every day! Yeah baby!!!
In my last post, I wrote about how forgiveness can profoundly affect your life: when you release the hardened energy – resentment, defensiveness and anger – around your heart, it actually creates space for love and generosity to enter the picture.
So what does gratitude have to do with all this?
Well, forgiveness doesn’t always happen overnight. In fact, sometimes it can take years of emotional work, sifting through the layers of the hurt, until we’re truly able to release old, hardened emotions. Little by little we get to a peaceful place.
However, there is a tool you can use to close the gap quicker – one I’ve found to be very successful with clients and would like to give you.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
-Lewis B. Smedes
Last month on the blog we took a deep dive into the important and life-changing principles of self-love (read more HERE). This month we’ll take on another concept: forgiveness.
The truth is that forgiveness goes hand-in-hand with self-love; you cannot truly forgive yourself and others if you don’t feel, deeply and truly, that you deserve the freedom that comes with forgiveness.
Embrace Forgiveness and Release the Past
For many people, there’s a need to release the past and let go of things that have happened (or not happened) so they can have gratitude for what’s going on right now, in the present moment.
I understand it’s not always easy. I personally just released a huge piece of pent-up resentment and hurt around my dad that had been wallowing somewhere inside me for years. It was tough. And over the years, at times I had truly believed that I’d released it only to find that it was still there. Fortunately, this time I was able to let it go.
And believe me… it is incredibly powerful to let it go! It’s such a freeing feeling, which underlines an important point: the practice of forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re “letting someone off the hook” or “excusing poor behavior.” Not at all!
Forgiveness isn’t for the benefit of others – it’s for your own benefit.
As we forgive and shift the constricted energy around our heart center, we allow love to come in. The anger and resentment, the pain, the defensiveness; all those tough emotions block love from coming in and keep us separate from the people who want to love us.
Forgive others so that you can experience more love, joy and freedom in your life.
How to Choose Forgiveness
Many of us unconsciously hold the belief that our anger protects us – if we forgive someone, we might be susceptible to allowing that person back in our lives. We might secretly fear that we’ll fall in love with him again or put ourselves into an unhealthy or undesirable situation.
Understandably, that belief creates a barrier to forgiveness. But the reality is that when you forgive someone, you’re just dissolving the negative emotional bond to the person or incident. You’re simply releasing yourself from the prison of fear, resentment and defensiveness.
If you’re ready to shift forward into a paradigm of love, freedom and forgiveness, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What do I get out of holding on to the hurt?
- What is my payoff from refusing to forgive?
- Who would I be if I didn’t feel like a victim in this area?
- By hanging onto the negative emotion, what part of my life am I not taking responsibility for?
Sit with these questions and allow the answers to arise naturally. There’s a lot worth looking at, and when you do, it might bring up some emotions – but trust that there is something very beautiful underneath.
I’m talking about freedom, my Sparkle Sister. And it’s yours for the taking:))
When you think about it, life is about relationships. Every minute of every day you are relating with someone or something—be it your kids, boss, co-workers, friends, family, store clerk, stranger, pet, computer, car, Self, the list is endless.
And the most important relationship of all? You guessed it—your relationship with yourself.
Last week I gave you 6 ways to develop more self love. Another important component of self-love has to do with your relationship with your body. So at this given moment, if you are honest with yourself, can you say you love your body fully, wholly, and unconditionally? Do you treat it with care and respect?
If you do that is awesome! But if you don’t that’s a message that there is some healing needed in order to shift that “not so nice” perspective. Because you know what? That attitude is literally weighing you down, hindering you from living your best life and affecting how you are presenting to others.
I understand the unwanted muffin top, growing thighs and big belly misery – and the emotions involved with judging your body. It brings back memories of a time when I was 40 pounds heavier, and how I felt about myself. I wasn’t being kind to me until I realized that in order to live, laugh and love with freedom, it was necessary to feel good not only about my body image but also feel good INSIDE. Adopting new mental and physical behaviors allowed me to release the weight and keep it off for 27+ years now.
Here’s what you need to know to improve your relationship with your body:
Every day you are going to be faced with situations that challenge your ability to stay calm and centered. Do you ever wonder what it would take to stay in a state of consistent peace? To be teflon to triggers, neutral to negativity, non-attached to naysayers? It’s possible when you tune into your hearts inherent blueprint for love, joy and happiness.
But what if you don’t know how to do that? You might be saying, “I don’t know the first step of how to tune into my hearts knowing and it’s frustrating – I get reactive and then obsess about what happened or things that I’ve said I wished I hadn’t and feel stressed and crummy”.
If you can relate to this it’s a good indication that somewhere along the way you’ve stopped loving YOU. The good news is you have total empowerment to remedy this situation immediately. It does not depend on anyone else. Hallelujah!
All you have to do is start renewing your relationship with you by practicing more self-love.
Why this matters to you:
Once you’re pouring more love into you, other people and situations won’t trigger you as much. AND – if you want a deeply connected loving relationship with someone else you’ll need to have a solid partnering with yourself first. So you want to be sure you’re good with you – that you love, honor, trust and respect yourself first and foremost.
Take this simple Self-Love quiz to find out where you stand with you:
- Are you your biggest and brightest fan or your own worst enemy blaming yourself for your difficulties and criticizing your behaviors?
- Do you applaud your accomplishments or do you look at what you didn’t get done and make that your focus – feeling bad about yourself?
- When you are tired do you stop to nurture yourself or do you push yourself harder with nothing ever being good enough?
- When you ask yourself, “Do I value myself as much as I value my children or best friend?” is it a yes or a no?
If you relate more to the second half of the question you are not loving yourself too well or showing compassion towards yourself.
Here are some tips for developing self-love:
Write yourself a love letter. I mean really gush all over you. Dig for diamonds. Get out your pick, put on your mining hard hat and start excavating. If this is hard for you or draw a blank as a friend or family member to help you discover your dazzle.
- Combat the critic. Ah yes, the stealth committee of your mind—always at your service to run you over the coals. When they show up en force simply say, “Thank you for sharing, but no thanks! I choose to live with brilliance not bullying.”
- Speak your truth—at all times, no matter what. Even if you think the conversation will be hard, show up with honesty and come from love. This honors who you are as well as the recipient.
- Practice self-care. Listen to your body and take care of your needs! Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you’re tired, get a massage, exercise, indulge in a mani pedi, and kick destructive habits like alcohol, drugs, and food abuse. You may need a village to help you and that’s ok. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
- Accept yourself—no matter what your race, color, height, or gender, just accept the facts. You cannot change these things. Choose to celebrate everything you are instead of pining for what you are not.
- Find evidence that supports how wonderful you are
Ultimately when you fall in love with you, your world will too:)) Fortunately returning to love is easy when you realize that love is and always has been within you all the time. This is your Diamond Power – your sparkling essence that is uniquely you. Connect with it now!
One of my married clients was excited to share some good news with me: things were finally shifting within her relationship that had felt stilted, tense and unromantic for years. She gleefully told me on the phone that, “I’m seeing results and I feel more loved and more loving than ever before!”
So what made the difference? She began doing things for her husband without the expectation of anything in return.
What it Means to Give Freely
In the situation I described above, my client had a light bulb moment. She realized that for most of her marriage, she hadn’t been very nurturing at all. Instead, she continually looked for the things he wasn’t doing for her.
When she got this, she made some changes. It looked like this: her husband goes to bed very early during the week because he has to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to his construction job. So, since she goes to bed later than him, she started doing little things that she knew would make it easier for him to get up early. She prepped the coffee pot so all he had to do was switch it on in the morning. She prepared a water bottle for him to grab and go, and she left him a little note saying, “Have a good day!”
These actions are so simple! And yet, they had a wonderful impact on their relationship.
In my work with women, I frequently find myself in the conversation of “I don’t feel like I’m good enough.”
It makes me sad to see so many women walking the earth with a deep sense that they’re simply not enough just being who they are! God made each of us unique, unusual and special – and the sooner we women truly feel that at the core of our being, the sooner we’ll be able to experience the boundless love and joy that we’re meant to feel!
Today, let’s take a look at what this “not enough” belief is all about and how it might manifest in your life.
Look for Small, Challenging Habits
When a woman doesn’t feel that she’s enough, that belief may appear in her life in all sorts of seemingly insignificant ways. She might have trouble getting to bed on time (so she never really gets enough sleep), or she might not eat healthy food (depriving herself of nourishment) or she might push away men that want to treat her well (only going for men that ignore and disrespect her).
It can manifest in all sorts of subtle ways. Do you have any habits that might be covering a “not good enough” belief?
Sometimes, when women believe they’re not good enough they do things to prove that they are. They might find themselves over-giving, sacrificing too much of themselves in the name of “generosity,” or engaging in some other behavior that looks innocent on the surface but really comes with strings attached.
When I work with clients and we pinpoint things like this, it’s amazing to dive into the conversation around personal value. Usually, when a woman realizes that she’s been mistreating herself, simply knowing that it’s happening makes a big difference. She has the opportunity to value herself from the outside in – that is, she can now take action that is loving toward herself, and watch her inner perception of herself start to shift.
You Deserve Love
Every human being deserves love, and you are no exception! I invite you to give yourself the gift of self-reflection today, and ask yourself the following questions:
- Is there an area of my life in which I feel depleted, exhausted, or like I’m not getting what I need?
- What would it look like if I took an action today in this area of my life that was truly loving toward myself?
- Am I willing to try it?
I hope the answer is yes. For example, this might look like making sure you get enough sleep tonight, or having a salad for lunch so you feel light and energized in the afternoon, or setting a boundary with your family and telling them you’d like someone else to make dinner tonight!
The truth is that once you begin to value and respect yourself, the other people in your life will either fall in line or fall to the sidelines; and that is a wonderful thing to experience!
Do you ever wonder why you keep attracting the same disappointing experiences? Whether it’s about love, health, wealth or having more fun in life, are you asking yourself, “Why is this so hard, why can’t I figure it out, what’s wrong with ME?” Sheeeeeesh!
Despite all the time you’ve spent reading self-help books, saying positive affirmations till you’re blue in the face, listening to podcasts and expert interviews, going to lectures and workshops, and maybe even investing in therapy, nothing changes!!! You can listen, read, recite, study and sit at the feet of the top guru’s all over the world and still…nothing changes. Ay yi yi pretty frustrating, right love?
You might be thinking you aren’t trying hard enough, or maybe you are feeling like you are fundamentally flawed. Maybe you think it’s your lot in life, or that you have bad luck or crappy karma.
I get it, I’ve been there – it’s discouraging and disheartening to say the least!
I remember trying to get back on track after my marriage unraveled and desperately wishing some magic wand would just tap me on the shoulder and make life groovy again – LOL!
Where I was and where I wanted to be seemed miles apart and no matter what I was doing that gap just wasn’t closing – ever feel that way?
Well I prayed and prayed for a solution – I knew I needed a bridge but didn’t know how to build it….(until I found the secret and life DID become groovy again!!!)
What I’m about to share isn’t just going to give you great aha’s it’s going to change your life!!