Last year I joined a running group as a promise to myself to get back into shape. I committed with this training group to run a half marathon (ok more like a blended run/walk cuz of the ole’ hip replacements LOL) but yes I was going to RUN again!!!
Crazy me right?
I trained for this half marathon for over 6 months. I challenged myself with hill repeats and other forms of cardio torture. I was trying something different, and it was pulling and stretching me in amazing ways!
I was getting stronger!
I felt myself getting stronger both mentally and physically. I felt less stressed in my day-to-day life, I was sleeping better and I was loving this running thing!
So after 6 months of sweat, and countless mornings where I wanted to stay in bed but I got up and ran instead, the half marathon was now just a week away. I was excited, nervous and feeling pretty great that I had put in the work and my goal was in sight.
Just days before the run, we found out the unfortunate news that my Aunt had passed away and her funeral was to be on the exact date of the half marathon.
I was upset to lose my Aunt, and of course I was going to be there for the funeral, so running in the half marathon with the thousands of other runners was now out of the question. But I was also bummed that this goal I had worked towards would now not be completed.
I felt defeated, and guilty for feeling that way. Geez Louise!
I could have quit.
I’m in the midst of selling my Dad’s house right now, so lately I’m spending a lot of time working with my agent while she works on selling the house. It’s been a bit hectic, and a bit stressful.
No problem baby! I got this!
That’s what I tell myself because I tend to roll with the punches and adapt pretty easily. But, what got me thinking, and wanting to share with you is that my agent who’s selling the house unexpectedly triggered me.
She had sold my siblings and I into this strategy for selling the house and it didn’t go as she had said. I have a pet peeve about people promising something and then it not happening OR changing the story to match the result. Mama Mia!
So when this happened, I was totally triggered and I felt angry and tricked somehow. But as I was getting super ticked off, I remembered to STEP BACK, and take a breath. I asked myself – How come I reacted that way?
Why am I getting triggered?
Huge lessons to be learned here, keep reading!!
Remember what we learned last week? We learned about having an attitude of Charisma, and that living with an attitude of charisma means always coming from the light.
Well this all ties in.
Triggers take you away from your light, they drag you back into your old patterns, your old ways of dealing with things, and they automatically disconnect you and make you close up. You go right into isolation. Bye bye sparkles and joy!
Exactly what we don’t want!
When you get triggered, and girl, trust me you will… I want you to ask yourself…
What do you want to project to the world? How are you going to let your beautiful light shine? What is the bigger picture?
Leading Lady Tip: Master Your Attitude, Master Your Charisma
Here’s what works when you are feeling triggered, step by step.
1. Is it true? You want to step back – check in with yourself and ask, is it really true? Whatever that person might be saying remember they have their own perspective based on their own experiences. In this case I had to ask myself did the broker try to pull a fast one on us just to get the listing and the honest answer was no. She did have multiple successes with her strategy…in other neighborhoods. It’s not that she tried to trick me, it’s that her tried and true strategy didn’t work in my dad’s neighborhood. I was able to let it go and appreciate her efforts.
Another scenario with “Is it true” is that the person may be projecting onto you their stuff – so sit with it and see if it feels true. If it doesn’t let it go. On the other hand, if it’s true, own up, learn from the experience and be thankful that you were given this gift of growth. Every time you heal a part of your life, that part moves into a charismatic place. Hallelujah baby!!
2. Get curious: Be a detective, get as detached as possible and look for clues! Triggers are often mirrors for beliefs or ways of being that need healing in us. If you can look at it unemotionally you will be amazed at the insight you can gain and the powerful healing that will happen. You are unraveling the emotions that are blocking your beautiful essence.
3. How do you want to show up? Stay focused on how you want to show up in this world, and your commitment to coming from a place of light, of living a life with sparkle and authenticity and that will always keep you connected to who you want to be – it’s a choice.
4. Is it necessary? If our goal is to always being staying in that charismatic place then is going off course going to deliver you where you want to go? Easy answer – No.
The next time you get triggered, take that deep breath, and let it out … Ahhhhhhhhh, and remember that how you react to it is how you are choosing to show up in the world, the choice is always yours!
Have you ever made eye contact with someone and they smiled at you and it totally caught you off guard, but you found yourself smiling back?
That’s charisma! And here’s a fun fact – charisma was originally a religious term, it meant ‘of the spirit’ or inspired.
It’s all about that pure light in us shining through into the world.
Most people think you are born with or without it, and that is simply not true. It’s a skill! You can develop and master it!
Marianne Williamson says that ‘charisma is the sparkle in people that money cannot buy.’That’s just beautiful!!!
I LOVE THIS!!
Charisma is literally invisible energy with visible effects!
Here are 3 benefits of developing YOUR charisma:
As a matter of fact some people have more excuses than Carters has pills.
Maybe you think you have an excuse to be sad or upset; traffic was bad, he hurt me, didn’t keep his word, he betrayed me.
Or you may think you have an excuse to settle for where you are; you had a bad childhood, you went through a brutal break up, your partner doesn’t support you.
The truth is as long as you blame the past, a friend, your partner, the traffic, the weather – you name it… you will justify where you are and stay stuck in unhappiness.
Believe me, I put off writing my book for many years because of ALL the excuses I had that seemed totally justifiable. I didn’t have time, didn’t have the money, didn’t have an agent. To be honest, under all the excuses was a fear that what I had to say wasn’t important enough to put into print. I was stuck in my fear until I found the courage to just go for it.
I get it!!
But at some point, if you want to move forward, if you want to invite happiness in, you have to ditch the excuses. Even if they are valid excuses like betrayal, abandonment, disappointment or death – toss them out. They are keeping you from your joy.
Ahhh. Joy. Happiness. Big, bright smiles. I’m reminded of my volunteer experience last year in Liberia, Africa. The people were so happy and they had nothing to speak of materially – living in concrete shacks with virtually no furniture, wearing the same clothes every day, sweltering in the high heat and humidity, no internet, no TV, – and forget about Starbucks they didn’t have enough food in their belly….these people had plenty of reasons to be depressed so how was it they were so gloriously happy?
One woman in particular, “Mama” (leaning sideways with a huge smile in the pic above), made a lasting impression on me and everyone on the trip. Mama breaks it down so simply – she says, “Every day that I open my eyes is a good day.” Mama doesn’t wait for something to happen “for her” or “to her” to be happy. She doesn’t lament about being poor, the heat, the war torn country or the way things are for her and her family. She knows the secret to happiness – she has an inner sparkle.
It’s the same secret I teach in the SPARKLE Program.
Listen, you can sit around waiting for outside circumstances to make you happy: the stars to align perfectly, those sexy shoes you’ve been eyeing to go on sale, your partner to apologize for that unspeakable thing he did, OR you can live like Mama…happy daily – REGARDLESS.
Being happy is possible for you – stop waiting and take action to make it your emotion of choice NOW.
Granted, even if you desire to change, it’s sometimes hard to know how to change. My good friend Mat Boggs says, “It’s hard to see the picture when you are in the frame.” Man is that ever true!
So if this is where you are at, and you are ready to leap to the other side, I invite you to consider the SPARKLE program because it will get you there.
Here are three of its top benefits:
- You get a plan for happiness
- Freedom from emotional pain
- Life becomes FUN again
If you are DONE putting off your happiness, book a time to talk with me because baby, you deserve a life of smiles for no reason:))
“THE YOUNG BOY said to his grandfather, ‘I have two wolves barking inside of me. The first wolf is filled with anger, hatred, bitterness, and mostly revenge. The second wolf inside of me is filled with love, kindness compassion and mostly forgiveness. Which wolf do you think will win?’
The grandfather responded, ‘Whichever one you feed.’”
Wow what truth!
Take a minute and ask yourself, “which wolf do I feed?”
And then take it a step further and reflect on which wolf feasts when you are going through a rough time. Do you bring in the second wolf of self-love or do you stuff the wolf of self-bashing?
How do you treat yourself? Be honest. It has everything to do with your happiness.
If you are constantly beating yourself up with judgment, criticism and guilt you aren’t going to have the mental or physical strength to presence as the woman you want to be.
On the other hand, if you support yourself with gentle, kind nurturing thoughts it’s going to be much easier to feel joyful and show up as the empowered leading lady of your life.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said: “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
So who do you want to be?
It’s important to have a clear vision and knowing of who you want to be and equally important to take actions that support your desire.
First create a clear picture of who that woman is –design her from the inside out. A great way to do this is to sit with a journal and write down character traits and qualities that inspire you or that you admire and wish to adopt.
Next thumb through magazines – what style of dressing attracts you and expresses your personality and feminine essence?
If you find one picture that says it all rip it out and put it where you’ll see it daily (when I was divorcing I found a picture of Manola Blahnik shoes that symbolized everything I wanted to become and put it on my bulletin board at work – LOL – but hey, just looking at it lifted my spirits!)
You may also find several pictures that speak to you and create a collage. The idea is to become clear about who you want to become and stay focused on this.
Next you want to notice what stops you from becoming this unforgettable woman. What thoughts run through your mind, what fears paralyze you and keep you stuck?
What lies are you telling yourself about what’s possible for you. What negative voices are telling you, “ha, who are you kidding, you’ll never pull that off, you’re too old, not good enough, not special enough …blah, blah, blah – feeding that annoying attack wolf again.
Whoooah, let’s pause, take a breath and turn this wolf around!
How, you might ask, do you do that?
Are you, like so many women over 40, having trouble accepting your age?
Do you find yourself looking in the mirror and thinking YIKES!! Maybe saying to yourself, “OMG, where did that new wrinkle come from? And…whoooah look at those puffy dark circles (note to self – stop at Sephora immediately for ‘bag’ control )…eeeesh nose hairs, what is happening to me???
Many of my clients have confided they are having a tough time accepting that they are getting older. They feel like they’ve lost their sparkly sex appeal and are downright depressed about the reflection staring back at them.
What about you?
Would you like to feel better about aging? Accept the inevitable with grace and ease? Be able to connect with that part of you that’s confident and ignore the inner critic, that big fat judge that won’t budge?
Do you want to feel beautiful in WHO you are? Confident and comfortable in your skin.
So how do you get there?
In this video, I share two powerful questions that I give my clients when they need to get clear about their inner diamond value.
You will also learn how to ignore your evil twin (the one who sits on a soap box in your mind and fills you with bad juju thoughts) and instead tune into your inner angel – the one who will help you fall back in love with yourself.
Watch this video to feel fabulous and sexy no matter what your age!
If you are struggling with feeling good and want a formula to get your mojo back click here to schedule a chat and I’ll give you all I’ve got in 30 minutes.
Take a moment to think about this. If you aren’t experiencing the love you desire are you silently slinking inward, wondering what’s wrong with you and unwittingly closing off your heart creating a barricade against love? The truth is many of us put up barriers around our hearts – we just don’t realize it right away.
You don’t have to be single to dread Valentines Day – its just as stressful, if not more so, if your heart is shut down, or you feel alone in your relationship.
Why is this important?
In the weeks leading up to Valentines Day, we are bombarded with images both on TV and social media, with a very consumer driven view of what love is, or should be.
A client of mine shared with me that she used to be disappointed if her man didn’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day! She’d get really upset if there were no roses, no dinner, or special gift that made her feel adored. Really? Was this love?
Here’s why this is relevant:
We all want to experience deeply connected love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is a rewarding and fulfilling life experience! But sometimes, without even realizing it, women can close off their heart and block out love.
Thinking everyone else’s needs are more important than our own we disconnect from ourselves. This is a way we stop loving ourselves. When we stop loving ourselves we begin to close off parts of our heart to others too.
How does this happen?
I just cleared my schedule to make sure we have a chance to chat…
I’ve been getting a lot of questions from ladies about the upcoming SPARKLE group coaching program and you may also be wondering if this is the right course for you – or if some other course or coaching might be a better fit…
Because truthfully this program isn’t for everyone…
It’s a great fit if you’re really looking to get unstuck quickly and become the most happy, love-filled version of yourself by summer.
If this sounds like YOU:
Claim your free consult right now by clicking here or by going directly to my online scheduler:
***If you don’t see a time that accommodates your busy life, please send an email to Sherri@UnleashYourSparkle.com with “Love to chat Sherri!” in the subject line and 3-4 time options (include your time zone) between Monday the 2nd and Friday the 6th and we will get you scheduled)
Even though I’ve cleared my schedule next week there are still a very limited amount and they will go fast…
To give you an idea what’s possible for you, here are some successes happening right now in the current SPARKLE group:
“I have been doing the Psych-K exercise regularly since Sherri introduced it to me in the program: “I am enough just as I am for myself and for others.” Intellectually, I have known this for some time but the exercise has helped me to allow this belief into my Heart and my Body. Feeling and knowing that I am enough helps me to walk through the world with more confidence and to be more compassionate with myself and with others.” ~ R.F., Vermont
“…I have recommitted to myself. My new belief is, “I am worthy of a loving and respectful relationship”. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing my sparkle back!” ~ S.J., UK
“ In the visualization exercise I was able to feel the love within myself and don’t need to depend on other people for approval or love. I was able to feel that I don’t need to be the most important person to someone else. I now know I am important because I was created by GODS hands…thank you SHERRI…” ~ D.F. Netherlands
If you are clear you want to have more confidence, sparkle and self-love in your life grab your appointment with me now before they’re all gone:
I can’t wait to chat with you!
The thirst for a life you love is so strong you can taste it. Ahhh… to have the freedom to be bold, beautiful and bodacious – to finally lift the veil and be seen – to easily express the many facets of your femininity.
Yes, yes and hell YES!
Until your best friend questions what you’re doing, your honey isn’t thrilled with the new you and things start getting hard – the curve balls have arrived.
Anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. So, how do you stay the course and overcome the challenges that pepper the path to your dreams?
The first step is to recognize that a challenge is not a dead end. Indeed it’s a growth opportunity – a chance to become more mentally strong, develop your self-worth, own your value.
When a challenge arises, it’s important to keep a positive mindset and not to give up. After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?
Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter on the way to their dream and how to recognize these culprits and lasso them.
Viva la dream building!
How about you?
What do you want to create, bring in, live into?
Wherever you are with your plans for the New Year, I want to shake things up for you. Just as I realized in order to expand I’ll have to live on the edge of my comfort zone, so will you if you want to live your best life.
Scary? You bet.
But wow – garnering your gumption to step outside the box can also be exhilarating and create the confidence you crave to be the leading lady of your life.
You see, living your BEST year involves a commitment to a way of being. It’s realizing that life is full of choices and that we are each empowered to make choices that bring us the most joy, the most growth and the most fulfillment.
For me that means overcoming the fear of being judged, being seen. Not caring what others think, staying true to my inner guidance even when it’s in conflict with those I love.
What does it mean for you?
Last year I learned a powerful lesson from listening to a group of iconic women. They shared their secrets to a happy and fulfilling life. What do you think they said?
If you guessed taking risks and stepping out of your safety zone you are right on the money.
According to these inspiring women, that’s when life becomes magical and you are truly living into your genius and greatness.
As motivating as that sounds you may be saying to yourself, “That seems rather terrifying, I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. My life may be a bit boring and routine but that’s not so bad – at least I know what to expect and I like being in control…”
Does this sound familiar?
In the spirit of this theme I am committed to speaking my truth – even if it’s a little risky -because I want to shake things up for people and nudge them in the direction of their bliss.
So here goes…living a routine life will suck your spirit dry! You’ll be parched, wilted, lifeless, dreamless with about as much energy as a sloth on a hot summer day. It’s time to follow your dreams and drink deeply from the well of the unknown. The excitement of the risk will make you feel vibrant and alive!
Now you might be thinking, “How does one do that?”
Fortunately all it takes is an intention to make 2015 the year you live fully, a willingness to be open to new experiences, and a commitment to bring forth consistent courage.
This means reflecting, identifying and overcoming those things that keep you in your rut. Then coming up with new behaviors and structures that are in alignment with who you want to become; the you that embraces life and all it’s opportunities; the you that is determined to live your best life one choice at a time.
To get you started I want to share an exercise I adopted from self-love author, Christine Arylo. If you’ve been in the SPARKLE community more than a year you might remember these 3 tips I suggested you take action on at the beginning of 2014. They are so powerful and energizing I suggest you do them now for 2015 and then rinse and repeat every January of your life.
You’ll need three pieces of paper and a pen – go ahead and get that now.
1 ) On one page write down all the physical stuff you don’t want to bring into 2015 – items that take up space and keep you attached to the past. Next take action to clear it out. Get rid of old clothes or trinkets that remind you of unhappy times or unhealthy people. Bag it up and throw it out. Or even better, donate it to a charity. Clearing out the physical stuff that keeps you attached to negative memories will free you from both the physical and emotional baggage. Move it out and move forward sister!
2 ) On the second page write down all the relationships you want to release and/or set the intention you only want to have joyful and happy relationships. I had to release a relationship that was toxic as well as release the expectation that the relationship could change. If you are releasing unhealthy connections, send love to those you are releasing and then let go. To physically symbolize this release, you can burn the list in a safe place like your fireplace.
3 ) On the third page list the emotional things you don’t want to bring into 2015 – this can be old limiting patterns that don’t serve you anymore like guilt, shame, blame, avoidance, anger, sadness. It might be obligations, or unhealthy habits. I’m giving up the fear of being judged – letting others determine my worth. That creates a contracted state (hiding, self-doubt, second guessing, self-criticism, scarcity, not enough) and does not align with my 2015 theme of expansion. I’m choosing to master my mind and empower myself with healthy thoughts and behaviors.
Doing this exercise will make you feel lighter and as you feel lighter you’ll begin to feel more energized and open. As you feel more energized and open, you’ll begin to feel more confident and as you feel more confident you’ll be more willing to take risks.
Voila! You are now living on the edge of your comfort zone totally empowered to have your best year ever!
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Audio Interview - Secrets to a Sexy Sparkling Life