“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.”
~ Mother Theresa
Wow – powerful quote…and sometimes easier said than done, right?
Is there anyone you’re holding a grudge against and having difficulty letting it go?
I get it -I’ve been there. Several years ago my sister and I got into a massive fight just minutes before interviewing my lead expert for a summit I was hosting. She said some horrible and hurtful things that shook me to my core.
I was stunned and shocked thinking, “Are you kidding me? You know I’m about to do one of the most important interviews of my life and you’re choosing NOW to bring all this up?” I was trembling with anger and hurt as I put on my lipstick and told myself to push it aside and pull it together!
In all honesty it wasn’t my best interview; I was totally off balance with my entire nervous system shaken and my mind numb but I managed to push it aside and make it through with the grace of God.
It was afterwards that I wasn’t able to push it aside. I told the rest of my family and all my friends every little detail of what had happened, playing my victim role to the hilt and spiraling down into a vortex of blame, judgment, and self-pity. Ugghh, not something I’m proud of today but I felt justified at the time.
Ever happen to you? Ever fall into the rabbit hole of righteousness and claim the “I’ve been wronged” role with a vengeance?”
Although it’s easy to do, it sure doesn’t make you feel very good does it?
After a few weeks of sleepless nights, lack of focus and an upset stomach this situation was taking its toll on me. I clung to the belief my sister should apologize, but that apology never came.
I was tired of feeling so ugly inside and knew I had a choice – I could stay stuck in my story and all twisted up inside OR I could empower myself to shift out of it by healing the hurt.
While being in Bali the last few weeks I’ve learned something significant I want to share with you because it will make a huge difference in your life.
It’ s the secret to your personal well-being and overall happiness.
It’s the key to living a life full of love instead of sadness, frustration and disappointment.
Can you imagine living in consistent peace and joy? Wouldn’t you love it?? Seriously how amazing would that be? I’m talking every moment of every day, not just sometimes. Think about what a light you would be for others and how much more productive you would be if you were able to hold this state. Wow. It would be beyond awesome, right?
Well the people of Bali seem to have mastered this with ease and grace. They are beaming with peace and love and it’s genuine-it’s radiating from their eyes. Just being in their presence and energy makes you feel good. I thought wow I want to know what brings them this joy- what do they do to reach this enviable place of being all the time.
So I asked three lovely ladies what makes them and the people of Bali so happy and they instantly told me the secret- it’s the three principles of Balinese life.
They call it Tri Hita Karana:
- Have a good relationship with God – start your day with gratitude in prayer for 5 to 10 minutes. Although they have very little materially they have so much gratitude for what they do have and they make sure to thank God for this continuously. They are grateful for everything! And consequently they live a life full and rich with love.
- Have a good relationship with others. They stay in touch with their friends and family and community and have a special way of greeting each other. They say “Om swastiosu” which means I pray for your health and happiness and that you be blessed by God. As they say this they put their hands in prayer position in front of their heart and they look directly into the eyes of the other person.
- Have a good relationship with nature. Here in Bali the Banyan tree is a sacred tree and whenever they pass one they honk and they acknowledge the sacredness of the tree with a sincere heart and ask for protection. They spend time in nature daily in respect and gratitude. They recognize there is another world beyond the physical world we are living and they look to balance it through connection to it every day.
Pretty simple right? I personally am taking this home with me. As I pack and get ready to fly home today I leave with this beautiful truth in my heart and these beautiful people in my memory.
I challenge you to join me in adopting this three step Balinese practice and let me know what happens in your life. Try it on for a week and see how you feel my guess is you’ll start to experience a lot more peace.
One of the aspects of my spiritual pilgrimage to Bali is to take the time to be self-honoring – to rejuvenate, refresh and fill up with God’s love to feel balanced and whole. I have been unplugged from technology for almost a week now-having deep rich conversations, taking long walks, doing yoga and body work and meditating – allowing my mind body and soul to reflect and relax. Many of the women on this trip sharing with me how rare it is for them to do something like this for themselves-my thoughts turn to you with these conversations.
This is not something most women feel comfortable doing or do on a consistent basis for themselves-instead they make sure everyone else is taken care of and happy. Right?
While it’s great to be service oriented, it’s also extremely important to serve yourself and your needs as well so that you can authentically show up as your best self for others. AND super key point to understand- in order to have that awesome deeply connected loving relationship you desire you have to be in a great loving relationship with yourself first!!
So today I want to give you several ideas on how to sprinkle some love on yourself:)) …click here for 7 ways to wrap yourself in love.
When I woke up this morning I was thinking about you.
The week of Valentine’s Day can be rough for a lot of people – whether you’re in a relationship or not. Maybe you are feeling really disconnected in your partnership or if you’re single are you having sad thoughts like, “what’s wrong with me, I’m so sick of spending another holiday alone…” and wondering if you will ever experience the love you desire. It hurts to be in this space, no question about that.
So I started thinking, what could I share with you today that would bring more love and joy into your life?
Something simple and powerful.
And then I thought about this awesome opportunity that I was awarded last month – The Shine Challenge – based on one simple principle – Sprinkle Kindness – which results in a really cool side benefit – a boomerang of love!
So on Valentine’s Day I took a basket of red roses to a convalescent home and handed one to each of the ladies (and some of the men got one too :))! This had been on my bucket list for a few years; inspired by my memory of how my mom’s face used to light up every time I gave her red roses (her favorite) AND my dad had spent a lot of time in this particular facility and I had gotten to know some of the ladies.
This experience was every bit as wonderful as I imagined it would be – the ladies faces lit up, they sweetly smiled and their eyes started to shine.
One 104 year old woman smelled the rose, took in a deep breath and said she felt like she had died and gone to heaven, another broke into a huge smile and signed thank you I love you, and another started to cry.
It was more emotional than I expected and I was grabbing Kleenex as I went from room to room. What’s that saying, “When your heart opens, your eyes leak?” Ahhh such a warm and wonderful feeling of love flowing through my body.
What I learned – the quickest path to love is to sprinkle love on others.
So if you have been waiting for someone else to show you love, STOP. That’s the quickest path to frustration and sadness. Don’t ever let anyone else determine the amount of love you feel inside. By birth you are entitled to as much as you want. Take control of your love tank and empower yourself by engaging in acts of kindness. I promise you will fill up fast!!!!!
Why this is important:
If you want to attract more love into your life it’s crucial to BE in the same vibration. You know that saying, “water finds its own level?” well it’s the same with love and actually everything in life – you must BE what you desire in order to draw it to you.
One of our greatest abilities as human beings is to generously give to others. Our time, our attention and our love are three things that make the biggest difference in the lives of others.
Acts of kindness can be to strangers, or it can be to your friends, anyone really. Calling your girlfriend up who you know is having a tough time and telling her that you’re dropping by with her favorite cupcakes is an act of kindness. Helping others when they least expect it is an act of kindness, and the best part? The amazing feeling you get when you do this multiplies, it compounds and grows! It’s just another way to change your overall energetic vibration in this world, and increases your overall happiness and attractiveness to others.
When you open your heart, and be of service to others, magical things will start happening around you. You’ll experience the upward spiral because you will step into a higher energetic vibration. This is KEY! The law of attraction is preceded by your vibration -like attracts like. If you feel good, then good will attract back into your field.
Where can you sprinkle some kindness to not only the people in your life but also to people you don’t even know? I challenge you to do this daily for the rest of the month – you will feel the best kind of love there is – blissful unconditional love.
Are you in?
Comment below and let me know your experience.
You’ve got a dream, a goal, ambition and you’re ready to take the world by storm. Woo hoo!
But, wait, why are there so many darn potholes on the road to your desires?
Anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. So, how do you move past these roadblocks on the path to your bright future?
The first step is to recognize that a roadblock is not a dead end.
When a challenge arises, it’s important to stay connected to your “why” and not to give up. Why do you want this particular thing? As long as you keep this in the forefront of your mind you can recenter, refocus and recommit.
After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?
Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter on the way to their dream and how to recognize these culprits and move past them.
This way, when you encounter an obstacle you can say, “Out of my way! I’m on course for my dream life!“
Viva la dream building!
Click here to learn how to “clear your road” of these obstacles!!!
Time to say sayonara to 2016 and let the New Year Begin!!!
Rather than setting resolutions, make a courageous commitment to living on the edge of your comfort zone. You sure would be in good company considering Dianne Feinstein and a bevy of other iconic females I saw interviewed said the key to a happy and fulfilling life involves taking risks and stepping out of your safety zone.
According to these empowered women, that’s when life becomes magical and you are truly living into your genius and greatness.
As inspiring as that sounds you may be saying to yourself, “That seems kinda scary. My life may be a bit boring but routine suits me because I know what to expect and I like being in control…” sound familiar?
In the spirit of this theme I am committed to speaking my truth – even if it’s a little risky -because I want to shake things up for people and nudge them in the direction of their bliss.
So here goes…living a routine life will suck your spirit dry! You’ll be parched, wilted, lifeless, dreamless with about as much energy as a sloth on a hot summer day. It’s time to follow your dreams and drink deeply from the well of the unknown. The excitement of the risk will make you feel vibrant and alive!
Now you might be thinking, “How does one do that?” Truth be told all it takes is an intention to make 2017 the year you live fully, a willingness to be open to new experiences, and a commitment to bring forth consistent courage.
This means reflecting, identifying and overcoming those things that keep you in your rut. Then coming up with new behaviors and structures that are in alignment with who you want to become; the you that embraces life and all its opportunities; the you that is determined to look back at your life with no regrets.
Here’s an exercise to get you started. Go ahead and grab 3 pieces of paper and a pen and begin writing:
- Page #1 – write down all the relationships you want to release and/or set the intention you only want to have joyful and happy relationships. Send love to those you are releasing and then burn the list in a safe place like your fireplace.
- Page #2 – write down all the physical stuff you don’t want to bring into 2017 – items that take up space and keep you attached to the past. Next take action to clear it out. That may mean pictures that remind you of relationships that went south, clothing that no longer fits or makes you feel good, paperwork and clutter! Move it out and move it forward sister!
- Page #3 – list the emotional things or habits/patterns you don’t want to bring into 2017 – this can be old limiting patterns that don’t serve you anymore or emotional habits like guilt, shame, blame, avoidance, anger, sadness. It might be obligations, or unhealthy habits. I’m releasing a pattern of working long hours – in the New Year I want to spend more time with the people I love AND make time for love! I’m committed to creating more balance in my life by slowing down and choosing my work projects carefully. What emotions or patterns are you going to release?
Doing this exercise will make you feel lighter, clear and more confident. As you feel more confident you’ll be more willing to take risks. Voila! You are now living on the edge of your comfort zone.
Have you ever been brought to your knees with totally unexpected news?
I’m talking gut wrenching, kicked in the stomach information that scrambles your brain. News that alters the course of your life in a split second.
I sure have. It can literally suck the life out of you. If you’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about, right?
Whether it’s your husband telling you he no longer loves you and wants out, or your doctor’s office calling with a dire diagnosis or suddenly suffering the loss of a loved one – you can feel lost and scared.
Besides courage and commitment there is another VERY IMPORTANT component to getting to the other side of your crisis. A powerful tool.
Watch this video now to discover this powerful tool.
In this video I am privileged to interview a woman I greatly admire – my good friend and colleague, Relationship Coach, Michelle Marchant Johnson. She shares with vulnerability and from the depths of her heart a life changing time in her life. Standing on the other side of where she wanted to be she discovered a powerful tool, THE key component, that took her to a higher ground and bridged the gap.
This tool will help you too – no matter what is going on in your life.
If you want this tool for yourself, watch this video now. This conversation is raw and beautiful – full of wisdom and practical tips on what you can do if you find yourself in less than lovely circumstances.
Make sure you watch it to the end – Michelle reveals a wonderful opportunity for you.
Are the holidays bringing you down? With basically 2 weeks left till we bring in the New Year, are you happy with where you are at for the year?
Or…have you spent 2016 wrestling in a rut and you don’t know how to get out? Maybe you were broadsided with a relationship ending that was totally unexpected and you feel sad. Stuck. Stalled.
Or…you didn’t get that promotion or lose that weight or write that book.
All those big hopes and dreams you once had for yourself seem like they’re on a distant horizon, miles away and no longer in sight.
Being stuck can really take a toll on you emotionally making it hard to be happy and to feel confident as a woman. You don’t know what to do to get unstuck, so you shrink up and silently suffer.
I just got off the phone with a woman who shared she is going through a divorce after 37 years of marriage and is devastated – she can barely make it through the day and the holidays just make it worse.
You may not be experiencing the same thing, but you may have your own disappointment with thoughts like, “This is NOT how I thought my life would turn out, not what I signed up for, not what I was expecting.”
If you’ve been feeling this way, or have ever felt boxed-in, it’s time to end the needless suffering and frustration. There’s a simple solution that will empower you and get you moving toward a bright future. It’s simple – not always easy but always effective…make a new choice and you will find yourself in a new reality.
Yes!! You have the power of choice! Choose to get unstuck, choose to stop feeling miserable, choose to be more disciplined.
I can totally relate…there was a time I was very unhappy with my circumstances – I had reached a real low. I remember saying, ENOUGH! I was fed up and knew if I kept doing the same old thing I would keep getting the same disappointing results. I made a promise to myself to change – thinking if not now, when? If I don’t do it now will I ever?
So I chose to engage in new behaviors and daily discipline. Was it easy? Honestly it was scary as heck and in the beginning I felt very wobbly – but after a week I got into a groove and within a month my life had changed so dramatically it seemed a miracle had graced me. Those new choices gave me a new wonderful reality.
The same is possible for you! Your new choices can be anything from changing your physical location to changing your attitude or perspective.
Whether single, divorcing or married, there are many circumstances or environments you may wish you weren’t in. The key is not to let your circumstances have you.
You always have two choices: Keep things status quo ( and miserable) or choose a new reality ( and empower yourself).
Creating a new reality starts by making new choices. There are always different options available in every situation and it is up to you to decide what you want for your life. Make it a habit to choose that which will empower you and make you most happy.
Our insightful forefather, Abraham Lincoln, says, “People are about as happy as they decide to be.” If you think about it, there is such wisdom in his statement. How you live your life is nothing more than a mind-set and the choices you make.
If you choose not to change your mind-set you’ll experience the following three things:
- Attract more of the same – living a Ground Hog’s day existence.
- Anxiety or annoyance – creating a negative vibe.
- Discomfort to those around you. Yes, your mood directly affects those around you.
You may think you have the best poker face in town but your vibes speak volumes. Not only can you not hide your inner thoughts, they are magnetically attracting an equivalent match and bringing you more of what you don’t want. And you don’t want that sister!
If you do not ditch this energy, you’ll wake up with it and start your day behind the eight ball and have another crappy day. On the other hand, if you choose to create a new reality you will empower yourself and your life.
Here’s an example:
One of my clients, Janine, did a brilliant job of changing her reality with her husband. She and her husband of 30-plus years were having a lot of marital problems. They had been living like roommates for several months and nowhere near as close as she desired. She had just enrolled in a course with me and decided to listen to one of the bonus calls with a sensuality expert who gave lots of tips on how to seduce your man without saying a word.
One night she decided to try out a suggested seductive pose along with other flirty techniques she learned. When she heard her husband drive up she got into a curvy, sexy pose but he barely noticed her. She didn’t take it personally because she remembered the expert saying men need a woman to look at them at least four times before they “get it.”
God love her, she did not give up! Nor did she allow her husband’s non-responsiveness to shut her down. Instead, she patiently continued to pose every chance she got and noticed something was starting to change inside of her — she started to feel good about herself and continued for her own pleasure.
Low and behold her husband suddenly locked eyes with her; they flirted and kissed and had the most passionate night she could remember in ages! She was giddy with excitement and shared that she felt sensuous, feminine and fabulous.
It’s no coincidence that he noticed and wanted her exactly when she got to this point — she was dwelling in the sweet spot of her magnificence without any external need of attention.
That’s the secret we learn: When we are in right relationship with ourselves and take responsibility to make choices that make us happy all good things flow to and from us.
It’s a valuable lesson for anyone wishing to get unstuck. Whenever you are in a situation that doesn’t make you happy, remind yourself that choices are always available to you. Make a conscious decision to choose that which will empower you and bring you the most joy.
Just a slight shift in your perspective can bring a 180-degree change in your reality. It may also open a door to learn something new about yourself and most certainly the realization that you have the power to create your reality.
The choice is always yours; stay stuck or create a new reality like the sparkling soul you are. Who will you choose to be?
Wow, are we really in the “nth” hour of 2016? Can you believe it??
You may have had a really tough year and are looking forward to saying sayyyy-onnnn-ara!!!. That’s probably true for many people. On the other hand, there is no doubt you’ve had some real gem moments that may need to be mined from the last year.
Whether you’ve had high times or low times, there is some great wisdom to be had in all of it… if you know how to look for it.
Something I like to do at the end of the year is a “real” reflection because if you are anything like me, there is a tendency to focus on what didn’t get done. Right? Mama mia that can take you right down the rabbit hole!
So today I’m sharing this year end tradition with you; it’s perfect to do right now before you get caught up in all the holiday glitz and blitz.
This tradition I started several years ago is not only easy and fun, it helps me see all the good things that happened; clear the chaos and clutter to GET the lesson, and sets me up for a spectacular and exciting New Year.
What I’m talking about involves 3 simple questions:
- What did I accomplish this year? Get your planner out and spend 15 minutes looking back to remind yourself of all your wins! This includes both emotional and physical accomplishments. Maybe you stood up to your mother and set a boundary, or made a choice to eat healthy foods that nourish and make you feel energized. Maybe you ran a 10K or realized what love really means or volunteered your time. Look at every little thing that moved you forward. Write it down with pride! I like to make this a fun poster that makes my heart smile by using colorful glitter glue and rhinestone stickers. Celebrate YOU!
- What am I leaving behind? Look at lessons learned and ways of being that you are going to ditch. Maybe you were overly responsible and now you are going to let go of blaming yourself when things go awry. Or perhaps you are a woman of independence and you are going to let go of doing everything yourself and ask, dare I say it, for help! It could be you had unhealthy eating habits and you are going to let go of indulging to fill a void and bring in some new empowering behaviors. Possibly you have a closet full of clothes yet you wear the same 5 outfits over and over again and know it’s time to heave-ho ( yes that includes that little black dress you wore with the one you thought was “the one” and your heart sinks every time you look at it- get it out!). You are becoming the leading lady of your life!!! Hallelujah to that sister!
- What would I love in 2017? Get yourself a calendar, some colorful pens and use your imagination to create a life of passion! Start by thinking of all the things that you would love to do and fill in your calendar for the whole year. Decide when and how many vacations you want to take; how many fun days a month will you give yourself? Are there retreats or training’s you’d like to attend for physical, spiritual or mind blowing expansion? Make sure to include a bucket list item or two or three LOL. Taking control of how you spend your time will create a much more balanced and happy life.
As Margaret Wheatley said, “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”
Answering the above 3 questions will make you feel lighter and as you feel lighter you’ll begin to feel more energized and open. As you feel more energized and open, you’ll step into the New Year with more confidence.
It’s time to make a change! Gather your gumption and give this a go! You’ll be glad you did!
I would love to hear about your reflections!
Leave a comment below and let me know:
1 thing you did this year that you are proud of…
~ or ~
1 thing you are letting go of…
~ or ~
1 fun thing you are adding to your 2017 calendar…
Do you ever feel like life is coming at you like a tsunami?
Is it hard for you to stay in your loving, feminine Self when you are in overdrive and feeling overwhelmed?
Especially at this holiday time when everyone is tugging at you and there is so much to do. It sure is exhausting isn’t it? And it doesn’t make you feel very “womanly”, right?
Honestly a lot of women struggle with this because most of us are taught how to make other people happy, how to sacrifice our needs…and made to feel selfish if we want a more pleasurable life… Click here to find out how to “Stay Sexy When Stressed”