Any number of factors can contribute to a couple getting a little bored with their bedroom activities: stress, life changes, busy schedules and more. And even with an arsenal of sensual tips to try out, many couples still find themselves unenthused when it comes to making an effort in the bedroom.
Keep reading to discover why couples get bored and also to learn the surprising key to better s-e-x.
The scientifically sexy website Good In Bed polled over 3,000 individuals in committed relationships and came up with some interesting findings. When asked about a number of life changes that contribute to bedroom boredom, the following percentages of participants felt that these mileposts negatively affected their libidos:
- 38.5% Getting older
- 15.6% Moving in together
- 13.8% Marriage
- 32.2% Having children
- Interestingly, 8% felt that getting pregnant affected their bedroom boredom
No doubt big life changes like having children or moving in together affect your relationship, and certainly the amount of intimate time you’re able to spend with your partner. However, I am a bit dismayed to spot getting older on this list. I think growing old with your partner can actually be really fun!
If you feel like you are in a romantic rut and things have gotten pretty stale, why not bring a fresh twist into your relationship to mix it up?
Here’s an amazingly simple and fun key to better sex… laughter!
Many studies have shown that when we laugh, joke, and act silly, there is a mutual desire to let go, be happy, and love with an underlying benefit of feeling like you belong. So if you are looking to deepen your relationship and improve your sex life, start laughing.
Laughter is very sexy—particularly in the bedroom. Is your sex life full of silly fun? If not, you are missing out on one of the easiest ways to bring you and your partner closer together. Laughing shows you are willing to release inhibitions, let down your guard, and let go of unhealthy tensions. In addition, when you laugh you become present—living in the moment—inviting connection and creating the space for deeper intimacy.
Interestingly, laughter and sex produce similar physical reactions—both increasing body temperature and leaving you feeling warm, wonderful, and totally relaxed. So why not bring some silliness into the bedroom to bond in new and powerful ways?
Here are 5 ideas to get the giggling going:
- Try a new position that rivals Cirque du Soleil.
- Try body painting, and find your partner’s ticklish spots!
- Play naked Twister with some naughty new rules.
- Roll some dirty dice (one with body parts and the other with actions—easily found online).
- Use your limitless imagination!
Unfortunately, many people try to avoid funny situations fearing they might look foolish or be laughed at or rejected. The truth is, when you hold yourself in check, wanting to look perfect, afraid of what your partner will say or do, you put up an invisible wall that creates separation—the opposite of what you and your relationship should desire to attain. When you are worried about what the other person thinks, you have this swirl of anxious thoughts that keeps you closed off. Why not open up to having some fun and trying new things? It will allow your significant other to see another side of you as well as bring fresh sparks to your sex life.
Have you ever noticed how much energy and enthusiasm children have? One of the reasons for this is because they laugh a lot. They don’t spend much time worrying or thinking negative thoughts, which exhaust us and weigh us down. When your energy is light and happy your partner will be much more drawn to you, creating a positive environment for emotional and sexual intimacy.
Laughter also creates connection; one of the top things people complain is missing from their relationship. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson of the University of North Carolina found that positive emotion expands our visual attention and socialness, improving our ability to connect with others. It also helps to relax the mind—so laughing and playing is a great way for couples to get “unstuck” and dissolve tension.
Being playful helps you connect with the happy part of your innermost self. When you are in this space, you start communicating from your heart instead of your head, pulling your partner in because he or she can feel you, thus creating connection and deeper intimacy.
Many studies have shown that when we laugh, joke, and act silly, there is a mutual desire to let go, be happy, and love with an underlying benefit of feeling like you belong. So if you are looking to deepen your relationship and improve your sex life, start laughing. Forget your fears, step outside your comfort zone, and let your silly side shine through. As you become more open and inviting, your sex life will soar!