How often do you think, I’ll be happy when__________? (fill in the blank)
If you are like most of us you might have had a few thoughts like these:
* When I have a man in my life that loves and adores me and makes me feel special (whether you’re in a relationship or single) …THEN I’ll be happy.
* When I have enough money saved to make me feel secure…THEN I’ll be happy.
* When I drop that 10 extra pounds I’ve been carrying for the past 5 years…THEN I’ll be happy.
And sometimes “when” arrives and sometimes it doesn’t. In the meantime our lives are slipping thru our fingers like the sands of time. Yikes!
What “when’s” do you have in your life? Think about it for a minute and write them down.
Are you tying your happiness to a condition?
Don’t feel bad if the answer is yes, most of us do! Myself included.
When I was younger, from the time I was 15-28, my weight was a huge struggle. I was forever trying to say sayonara to an extra 25-40 pounds (and trust me on a 5’3” small boned frame, that was significant!). I dreamed of stepping on a scale, peering down and seeing the dial stop at 110 lbs.…ahhh THEN I would be happy, thrilled…ecstatic!!!
Suffice it to say I went on countless diets to get me there including a week of eating nothing but German chocolate cake (did I mention they were mostly unhealthy? Geeeez!). Every morning when I woke up I would run to the bathroom, step on the scale and if that reflecting number wasn’t inching it’s way down toward my goal weight I would instantly slump into a bad mood. In a split second I would go from anticipation to anger and frustration letting the number on the scale affect my whole day.
I was totally postponing my happiness; making it conditional. I wanted out of that vortex but I didn’t know what to do to end the mindset that was creating the disconnect to happiness.
Until one day I discovered the secret. I understood how to bypass the condition and stay in that joyful, happy state no matter what!
There are 3 ways you can step out of condition-based happiness:
- Let go of any attachment to the outcome. This applies to every area of your life. Do your best without any strings attached. When we allow things to flow we stay in a higher more expansive energy – we are able to stay in a state of joy. So in my case, adapting a way of eating that took the focus off weight loss and put it on feeling nourished and healthy brought great happiness. Ironically the weight came off because I stopped obsessing about food and ate only when I was hungry.
- Let go of trying to change someone or a situation. We can never change someone else – in fact the more we try the more likely we are to run up against walls and feel frustrated. However, we do have the ability to change who we are being. This comes from within – it’s a choice, a decision. You can declare – “I can change how I’m going to be today. This day I will be the BEST version of me.” Step into this and watch your happiness level soar!
- Stay connected to God/Universe/The Divine. When things don’t go the way we want or expect we can feel defeated, deflated and discouraged. You will know this is happening because you will feel contracted or shrunken inside. From this state happiness is far, far away. Instead all you have to do is connect with God, feel His Love and you will instantly feel a beautiful peace sweep thru your body. Do this and you will stay in a higher vibration.
Next time you start to entertain the belief that you can only be happy when __________ (fill in that blank) happens whip out your 3 secret weapons: no attachment to the outcome, know you can change who you’re being, stay connected to God. Embrace these success tips and you will live with greater happiness and joy! You can do it!!