How to Stop your Man from Ogling Other Women

Have you ever caught your man checking out another woman? Do you wish he’d stop noticing other women and rekindle his interest in YOU?

In this video I’ll share 3 tips that you can use to rev up your sensuality. Using these tricks will ensure that his attention won’t stray because you’ll become so playful, fun and sensual, he’ll only have eyes for you.

If you’re ready for attention and affection, watch this video.

To get access to the guided visualizations I mention, use this link Sensuality Meditation

 

How to have more fun romantic adventures!

Has your sex life become routine and rather boring? If you’re looking for ways to spice up your so-so sex life you are not alone girlfriend! Droves of women (many of them over 40) are looking for ways to reinvigorate their once steamy sex life.

Watch my video as I answer a client who questioned, “What’s the trick to getting a stick-in-the-mud husband to be more sexually adventurous? Since turning 40 my sex drive is so much better and I want to have more fun. How can I get him to join me?”

I’ll reveal a way to surprise your man and invite play back into your bedroom. Get ready for some fun!

===> Click here to watch the video “How to Have More Sexual Adventure”

5 Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

divorceMarriages always begin with so much hope and excitement for the future. Engaged couples head to the alter with enthusiasm, ready to begin their happily ever after.

But, what happens when the honeymoon phase is over?

Divorce is all too common in America and many couples unknowingly make mistakes that lead to the dissolution of love.

Are you making a relationship mistake that will lead to divorce?

Here are the top 5 mistakes that lead to divorce:

1. Disrespecting your spouse
Respect is a cornerstone to a healthy marriage and creating mutual respect is vital to the longevity of your union. Teasing, eye-rolling, and public trash talking are all things that should be avoided at all costs.

Teasing is especially destructive to a marriage because cutting remarks can wound deeply. Even if said in jest, some comments just aren’t funny. Plenty of couples will tease each other in what starts as playful banter but can quickly degrade into hurtful jabs.

Make sure you communicate respect to your spouse at all times. Your partner will be more willing and able to lavish you with love and affection when they feel respected and this respect will help your marriage flourish.

2. Focusing on the negative
Negative thinking can easily snowball out of control. Once we start focusing on negative thoughts about our partner, it’s hard to stop them. Therefore, it’s wise to be mindful of the true importance of any transgression.

If your spouse is abusive or exhibiting other detrimental behaviors, calling it quits can be the best option. However, if you realize that your irritations are not deal breakers, try to release your negative thoughts. After all, no one is perfect. Both your mood and your marriage will benefit from positivity!

Try writing your partner a love letter or simply make a list of all the reasons you married your spouse. These simple affirmative acts, practiced often, will help your union to no only survive but to thrive.

3. Choosing “me” instead of “we”
While it’s vital to practice self-care and nurture your own needs, be careful not to constantly choose “me” instead of “we”. Focusing solely on your own needs will cause you to abandon the needs of your relationship. Rather than living two separate lives inside of your marriage, ensure that you commit to activities that you enjoy doing as a couple. Connecting with each other regularly is imperative to creating a divorce-proof marriage.

4. Making the kids your #1
Have you fallen into the common pitfall of putting your kids before your marriage? Any parent knows how hard it becomes to keep the romance alive once kids come along. Mothers especially can become victim to placing priority on the children. This misguided precedence will take its toll on the marriage and can set the stage for separation.

It was through intimate love for your companion that created your family and that love needs to be fostered. One of the best ways to foster intimacy with your partner is to set regular date nights. This time away from your roles as mom and dad will allow you to reconnect with each other and connection is key to an enduring union.

5. Expecting your partner to make you happy
If you aren’t truly happy with yourself, you won’t be happy in any relationship. While a fulfilling marriage can add a level of bliss to life, it shouldn’t be your only source of joy. It isn’t fair to expect your partner to deliver you value, happiness or a sense of self worth. These can’t be supplied externally. Happiness must start from within and only then can overflow to be shared with others including your spouse.

If you’ve lost sight of your own value or are having a hard time experiencing joy, working with a therapist or coach can help you rediscover your brilliant essence. Realizing and cultivating your own greatness will transform both your esteem and your marriage for the good.

While no marriage can ever truly be divorce-proof, avoiding these 5 common mistakes will keep your marriage healthy and increase the longevity of your love.

Image used above is courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Can I Rekindle the Romance in My Relationship?

If you are feeling like the bodice ripping romance ( as my friend Lauren Frances calls it) has left your relationship you are not alone…Researchers say that within a short two to four years, the chemistry between a couple begins to wear off. So even if it’s normal for long-term couples to lose “the spark” over time, how can they keep the romance alive?

I had fun making the video above where Melanie Gorman,Senior VP of Experts, asked me and my fellow YourTango Experts Sheila Paxton, Barbara Schiffman, Charles Orlando to explain how to make date night zesty and exciting again.

Want to find out what’s necessary to keep it alive and fresh? Check out the video above! ( Give it a few minutes to load)

Leave a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts and see what works for you to keep the passion going.

Is Your Social Life Hurting Your Love Life?

Advice on how to align your social life with your relationship goals…

It’s natural when seeking out a healthy love relationship-to want to change yourself for the better. You think that a new haircut will make him fall in love again… a pretty dress will turn heads… an extreme diet and exercise regimen will make you worth loving. And these things can put an extra bounce in your step. But the best way to attract love into your life is to live your best life, a life in which romantic love is just the cherry on top.

Has your social life, or lack thereof, been holding you back from love-and from overall happiness? YourTango.com relationship site asked me and two other experts for tips on how you can evaluate your social habits, and change them for the better.
Keep Reading…

How to Respect Yourself and Your Ex

Need a sure fire way to get over your Ex? Here is the answer you have been looking for.

Everyone knows summer is the time for LOVE….but what if you are still haunted by your Ex? Over the years, I have watched my clients, friends and even strangers suffer through these warm sunny months so hooked into their past dramas that LOVE seems to disappear.…so I have a question for you?

Who is responsible for your feeling loved and respected?

Don’t answer too quickly. Take a breath and go deep. Could you have delegated the care of your heart to someone who is no longer with you? Are you blaming yourself or him for the failings of your lost love?

If you answer yes, don’t despair. I know what it is like to mistakenly place responsibility for my happiness squarely on the shoulders of someone else and I also know how to reclaim my magnificence and today I know my value.

Why is it important to extricate yourself from the past while maintaining respect for your Ex? Simple. Respect is a gift only you can give and allows you to step into your future gracefully. But how can you respect someone who has let you down or broken your heart?
Now that the bond is broken and he has moved on, your ability to regroup and rebuild your self esteem will go much faster if you appreciate the good and the bad that your Ex brought into your life. Yes, even the BAD.

The dictionary defines respect as holding in high esteem and honor. If your Ex has behaved badly, you might think you are excused from respecting him. Not so fast, another meaning of respect is to refrain from intruding on or interfering.

If you are imposing yourself into his world by holding on to his offenses, of course you cannot hold him in high esteem and honor. Respect for an Ex is doable when you see it as a withdrawal of your attention. As you refrain from “pushing” your energy into his world, you are being respectful.

Sure it hurt when he “rejected” you by breaking up but I bet you anything that you got so involved with him and his life that you have taken all the focus off your wonderful self. It is time for YOU! Here is a short Self Respect quiz to check it out:

1. When is the last time you congratulated yourself for completing an important project or do you always see what you didn’t get done?

2. Do you notice when you are tired and stop to nurture yourself or are you driven to manic activity with no rest?

3. Are you an over achiever pushing yourself constantly and never feeling good enough?

4. Do you compare yourself to others and see yourself as less than they are?

5. Are you stuck blaming him for your low self-esteem?

In other words, do you respect, love and totally accept yourself?

If you don’t treat yourself well, no one else will either. You teach others how to respect you by how you respect yourself.

So ask yourself, “Am I willing to find the roots of my lack of self respect?” If the answer is yes, you will find clues in life patterns that started in childhood. I know, I know, there is nothing new about looking into your childhood, but here’s a new twist.

You learn about respect from the way your parents treated one another. If judging and blaming was the norm, chances are you suffered from emotional and verbal abuse, not because your parents meant to harm you but because they were blind to how their actions were impacting you.
If you only got positive attention when you accomplished something, you can bet you confused those accolades for LOVE. Women who battle performance addiction and are insatiable people pleasers are my favorite clients! Once you know how to unleash your god-given spark…what you were put here to express, there is no holding you back!

Even though as a child, you didn’t have the ability to sort out fact from fiction and believed everything your parents and authority figures told you, once you find your sparkle, your truth, you will finally see that their beliefs were based on THEIR experiences and had nothing to do with you at all.

The truth is, they meant no harm—they were just repeating the patterns they grew up with. The big difference is that you are reading articles like this. You WANT to change your patterns. You WANT to find LOVE and SELF RESPECT.

What you must get is that your current view of yourself is not who you are. The reality is you were born perfect. A shimmering diamond of light vibrates at the core of your being. This is your true identity. This unique essence, your truth, is so incredibly SPECIAL and VALUABLE that when you start to claim it, you feel the Real Love you were born to experience.
Here is a short exercise to help you take steps right now to find that Inner Sparkle that will set you free to find the Love you deserve:

Sit in a comfortable chair and take several deep breaths. Allow your body to relax and sink into the chair. Imagine a beam of pure, sparkling Divine white light coming down from the heavens and shining on you like a spotlight on a dark stage.

See the darkness around you and feel the warmth and comfort of this pure light. Now let the light enter in to the top of your head illuminating you from within. Imagine this light dropping to the core of your Being, see your heart light up just like a Tiffany diamond showcased under the brightest of lights.

Like a lotus flower of light, notice how the facets of this gem open into new waves of sparkling electricity with every breath. Repeat this simple phrase 7 times. “I am open to the magnificence that is me.” Each time you connect to this energy, you will feel a deeper connection. Once you turn your attention inward and seek your Divine Spark, your Ex will be the farthest thing from your mind and heart.
xoxo
Sherri

8 Ways To Make Your Sex Life Hilarious (And Why That’s Healthy!)

Laughter is very sexy—particularly in the bedroom. Is your sex life full of silly fun? If not, you are missing out on one of the easiest ways to bring you and your partner closer together. Laughing shows you are willing to release inhibitions, let down your guard, and let go of unhealthy tensions. In addition, when you laugh you become present—living in the moment—inviting connection and creating the space for deeper intimacy.

Interestingly, laughter and sex produce similar physical reactions—both increasing body temperature and leaving you feeling warm, wonderful, and totally relaxed. So why not bring some silliness into the bedroom to bond in new and powerful ways?

Here are a few ideas to get the giggling going:
1. Try a new position that rivals Cirque du Soleil.
2. Try body painting, and find your partner’s ticklish spots!
3. Watch bad porn.
4. Play naked Twister with some naughty new rules.
5. Roll some dirty dice (one with body parts and the other with actions—easily found online).
6. Do the tango wearing nothing but a red rose in your teeth.
7. Play charades making funny faces and motions.
8. Use your limitless imagination!

Unfortunately, many people try to avoid funny situations fearing they might look foolish or be laughed at or rejected. The truth is, when you hold yourself in check, wanting to look perfect, afraid of what your partner will say or do, you put up an invisible wall that creates separation—the opposite of what you and your relationship should desire to attain. When you are worried about what the other person thinks, you have this swirl of anxious thoughts that keeps you closed off. Why not open up to having some fun and trying new things? It will allow your significant other to see another side of you as well as bring fresh sparks to your sex life.

Laughter adds both sexual and emotional intimacy to a relationship. When you play and laugh you become fully present, which allows you to connect. Most people have a tendency to live in the past, dwelling on negative emotions like anger and regret—or they fret about the future. According to a Harvard University study by Killingsworth and Gilbert, adults spend only about 50 percent of their time in the present moment. The researchers discovered that people spend the other 50 percent with their mind wandering, and that “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” On the other hand, they concluded that a “present” mind is generally joyful—thus, laughing and playing adds happiness to a relationship.

Have you ever noticed how much energy and enthusiasm children have? One of the reasons for this is because they laugh a lot. They don’t spend much time worrying or thinking negative thoughts, which exhaust us and weigh us down. When your energy is light and happy your partner will be much more drawn to you, creating a positive environment for emotional and sexual intimacy.

Laughter also creates connection, one of the top things people complain is missing from their relationship. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson of the University of North Carolina found that positive emotion expands our…
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to your sparkling laughter:))
xo

10 Hidden Ways An Ex Stays Embedded In Our Lives

If you want to move on from a relationship but are finding it hard to do so you are probably intertwined with your ex in ways you don’t even realize are preventing you from doing so. The following is an article I was asked to participate in by YourTango bringing to light ten hidden ways we stay connected with our ex’s. I wanted to share them with you so you can free yourself from the trappings of an old relationship. Read your way to freedom!!….

IT’S official. It’s over. Actually it’s been over for quite some time now. Then why are you still stuck with your ex? You may think you’re doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can’t shimmy away from him/her. Truth be told even if you aren’t in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!

Breaking up can be hard to do. We may be bonded to the other person and have a hard time letting go. Not having a clean break, however, may be confusing for either party. Keeping what seem to be innocent connections may send the signal that you want to get back together or they stand in the way of making a future connection with someone new.

Here are 10 ways you may be sabotaging your freedom:

1) Saving old messages — Are you saving and rereading past texts or listening to old phone messages? Reliving the past can take you down the rabbit hole fast. You’ll start the whole vicious cycle of wondering where it all went wrong — blaming yourself, then your ex, then you again, totally enmeshed in a relationship that’s over. Time to delete, delete, delete!

2) Socializing with his/her loved ones — Do you stay in contact with your ex’s family and friends? Are you secretly hoping they’ll put in a good word for you, or make him/her realize what a fool he/she was for leaving you. You’ll find this tactic will backfire on you because any communication you have with them after the break-up just keeps him/her alive in your mind and heart. Unless there are children involved, do yourself a favor, and let go of those ties.

3) You have co-mingled accounts — I’ve not only heard clients say this, at one point I even said it myself: “Oh, it doesn’t really matter that we aren’t legally divorced yet — we both know we’re done and have moved on.” Wrong. It does matter. It’s closure on another level, one that officially marks an end to one part of your life and endorses a new beginning.
Make the time, do the paperwork, get legally divorced. Believe me, you will feel different when you hold those papers in your hand. It may have made financial sense to be on the same calling plan when you were a couple, but saving $35 per month isn’t financial saavy, it’s a way to keep connection with your ex.

We’re financially bound. Shared mortgages, joint debts and investments, income tax return and vehicle payments — having the ex involved in financial matters keeps his/her presence alive in your mind and life. Worst still, things could turn stressful if he doesn’t do his part in meeting financial obligations. Take the steps now to divide and clean up the mess as best as possible; autonomy means financial autonomy, too.

4) Asking for advice or help — If the only person you can think of to solve a problem or move a heavy box is your ex, you may be looking for ways to stay connected. Google is a modern day miracle for answers to even the most complex problems, and if a box is heavy or furniture needs to be moved, there are other people who could help.

5) Keeping old photos — Do you still have pictures of the two of you displayed in your home or on your computer screensaver? Pictures stimulate desire and tug at your heart, causing you to reminisce about what was and could have been. They may cause you to weaken and reach out or keep you emotionally tied to the past. If you want to move forward, get rid of them pronto!
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3 Tips to Become a Sensual Woman

A sensual woman embodies femininity in all its magnificence and is absolutely mesmerizing to those around her. She possesses a certain sparkling quality that radiates from the inside out.

Sensuality starts with a heightened awareness to pleasure. Not just the kind of pleasure found in the bedroom, (although important 😉 — it’s also seeking to find enjoyment in all things. Thus sensual women have more sex, experience more pleasure in life, and feel at peace with who they are.

Sounds good, right?!

It is good. In fact, it’s better than good, it’s blissful!

Studies have shown that women who are exceptionally sensual live for the moment and are not stuck in the past or pre-occupied with the future. They take pleasure in life moment by moment delighting in the fullness of each experience.

Sensuality at its core is enjoyment; enjoyment of experiences, people, intimacy, and most importantly enjoyment of self.

If you’re ready to get in on the action and access your sensuality, read on to discover the 3 secrets to being a sensual woman.

continue reading…

How You’re Ruining Your Relationship

Plus: 5 ways you block love.

Are you creating a wedge between you and the men who love you? If you’re favoring your masculine side too much, you sure are!

We all want to experience true love. Being in a healthy, loving relationship is an absolutely magical feeling. But if you’re a strong, capable, independent woman, you could be unknowingly blocking yourself from love.

 

Whether single or in a relationship, women with masculine energy create an invisible barricade against men, hindering their own ability to attract and maintain healthy, loving relationships.
Do you exude masculine energy? Millions of women in today’s world have ramped up their masculine sides. It’s been necessary to embrace the male traits in order to be successful in business, run households and accomplish endless day-to-day tasks. Unfortunately, there is a price to be paid for this yin-yang imbalance. When you lose touch with your yin (femininity), and amplify your yang (masculinity), you create an unseen armor against men and love.

You see, inside of each of us are the traits and characteristics of both masculine and feminine energy. The masculine side is driven, competitive, protective and solution-oriented. The feminine side is collaborative, multi-tasking, intuitive, receptive, magnetic and flowing. Balancing the two is a beautiful dance. When in harmony, your masculine and feminine aspects are complementary, not opposing, and interact to achieve great success in all aspects of life, including love.

However, it’s often true that successful, independent women over-utilize their masculine energy. While your masculine energy can propel your career, it can also wreak havoc in your relationships by blocking love. Here are the five ways that you block love when you exude masculine energy:

1. You emasculate your man. If you’re the type of woman who ” wears the pants”  in the relationship, you’re forcing your partner to be the one wearing the dress, meaning, if you operate more in your masculine, your partner will be more in his feminine. For most men, this feminine energy is difficult to maintain. Even a sensitive man needs to be in touch with his masculinity. Men operating from the feminine become exhausted and depleted and thus will experience an urge to pull away or shut down. Keep reading …