Free Yourself by Becoming More Accepting of Others

This month, we’ve been celebrating independence with a series of posts aimed at helping you free yourself from limiting thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors so that you can move forward with clarity while inviting more love, joy, and fun into your life. I know this might sound counterintuitive, but one of the best ways you can create and nurture a sense of freedom for yourself, is by learning how to accept others exactly as they are.

Loosen Your Grip

It’s very common to want our loved ones, kids, friends, siblings even strangers to say things or behave in ways that we find acceptable and pleasing. However, having those expectations often sets us up for disappointment. If you think about it, what we are saying with this expectancy is, “you have to act this way in order for me to feel ok”. No wonder many of us are upset and frustrated much of the time – with this belief we give our power away, reliant on others to create our state of being. What an emotional roller coaster!

Growing up in a family where my brother was the golden child I got into this habit, very early on, in regards to my mother’s behavior towards me. If she said something sharp or gave me the silent treatment, my entire mood would change and I’d either become quiet and hurt or angry and explosive. I desperately wanted her to treat me with the love and kindness she showed my brother. This created years of conflict.

One day, my mom was upset about something that she refused to discuss. After several frustrating attempts to get her to share what was wrong, I went outside to get some fresh air and cool down. All of a sudden I was inspired to pray with a specific question that came into my mind: What would love do?

It was like I’d gotten this immediate download from God. At that moment, I was able to see and feel what was happening for my mother emotionally; her hurts and disappointments in life. That shift allowed me to stop making it about me and my pain and move into a deep compassion for my mom that filled my heart and soul. When I walked back into the house, not only had this experience shifted me,it had changed her too. She opened up and told me what had been bothering her, and we were finally able to connect. This was the first time EVER and it was the beginning of a beautiful new relationship with my mom.

Tips for Becoming More Accepting of Others

As soon as I started accepting my mom for who she is, no matter what her behavior towards me, our relationship began to evolve. So, the next time you find yourself in that rigid place, working to change or fix another person, I encourage you to use the following tips:

  1. Take three big breaths. If someone says something that upsets you, take three big breaths before you respond. Breathing interrupts your reactive patterning and calms your central nervous system allowing you to become more neutral and peaceful. This is always a better place to come from when responding 🙂
  2. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, when we find ourselves getting angry, it’s because we think something is happening to us, but it’s far more likely that whatever is going on, has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person. Try creating a scenario. Maybe that person just got fired, or they found out their child is sick. Imagine as many possible scenarios as you can that have nothing to do with you.
  3. Bless the other person silently. When you bless somebody, what you’re doing is sending them love, which has the power to dissipate anger energy and allow you to approach the other person with compassion. You don’t need to do this out loud, focus your mind on the blessing and send that loving energy in the other person’s direction.

Remember to ask yourself, “What would love do?” and know that by accepting your friends, partners, and family members exactly as they are, you’re not only freeing yourself from unnecessary stress, but you’re also offering them the opportunity to be authentic and vulnerable with you, which can only benefit your relationship over the long term.



Freedom from Fatigue

Alright, ladies, it’s time to learn how to free yourself from mind and body fatigue!!. If you are like most women you’re on overdrive, expecting yourself to get more done in a day than you used to do in a week a decade ago. Our lives have become so busy!!! Between the career, the kids, the aging parents, family and friends we are often dropping into bed exhausted physically and mentally every night.

Would you like to change that?

Click on this interview to learn simple, quick things you can do to go from fatigued to energized AND improve your memory and mental health. Viva la freedom!

This week, I want you to focus on how to put these tips into practice to become your most vibrant, vivacious, vital Self!

Sparkling love,



Are Your Beliefs Holding You Hostage?

Alright, ladies, you’ve already declared to have more fun, speak your mind and take better care of yourself in July. . For this week, I want you to focus on reframing those beliefs that limit expansion and keep you from becoming your most divine, free and sparkling self.

Open Up a Corner of Your Mind

When Napoleon Hill was researching his seminal work, The Laws of Success, which would later become Think and Grow Rich, he had the opportunity to talk with Andrew Carnegie. Carnegie told Hill that he wanted him to look in the mirror every day and tell himself that he would surpass Carnegie in wealth.

To Hill that was preposterous. Carnegie was the wealthiest man in the world! But he did it. For weeks, Hill looked into the mirror and repeated the mantra that Carnegie had given him. Hill said that at first, he could barely look at himself. But by the third week, there was a little corner of his mind that started believing it was possible.

Reimagine What’s Possible for Yourself

One of my clients believed there was a glass ceiling in her industry she could not break through. She wanted to make more money and have a flexible schedule so that she could spend more time with her daughters but she had become convinced that her boss would never say yes to either.

We worked on her vision first, what it would look like and feel like to live that life. Next we discovered the beliefs that didn’t support her vision – beliefs that had been with her most of her life giving her false perceptions about what was possible for her. After reframing those new beliefs her action step was to talk with her boss…and when she did it was a home run! She ended up with higher pay than anyone in her industry, and the flexible work schedule she’d wanted!

How to Begin Reframing Your Beliefs

If you’re ready to free yourself from the beliefs that have been holding you back from achieving your heart’s desire, these tips can help.

  1. Create a vision. Your mind thinks in pictures, so you need to see your dreams vividly to believe they’re possible.
  2. Look at the fears or thoughts in conflict with that vision. Identify them, name them and then reframe them with new empowering thoughts. One way to do this is with mirror work. Just like Napoleon Hill, look in the mirror every day and speak your new beliefs out loud.
  3. Have the courage to act. At some point, you will need to take action and do something you may have never done before. Even though my client created new beliefs, she was still nervous and anxious about talking to her boss, but she faced that fear and did it anyway.

Remember, no matter what the outcome, you win. If it works out, fantastic! If it doesn’t, hold the belief that this is what it looks like on the way to achieving your dreams. This belief will move you forward energetically and support you on the road to building your best, most sparkling life!

If you don’t think you can believe it for yourself, let me believe it for you. I have been doing this work for ten years and have seen some incredible transformations. Whenever you’re ready to unleash your inner sparkle, I’ll be cheering you on!



Free Yourself with Personal Boundaries

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know I often talk about the importance of setting boundaries with other people. But it’s equally as important to set boundaries with yourself. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Sherri, this whole month is about declaring my independence! Why are you talking about boundaries?” While boundaries might sound rigid, creating them is an essential first step towards setting yourself free!

Setting Boundaries Around Your Thoughts

One summer morning, I went out early, and I saw a woman walking her dog. It was a big dog, but you could tell he was still a puppy, and he was going nuts! First, there was a bird he wanted to chase, then it was a squirrel, then a gardener revved up his lawnmower, and the dog tried to dart across the street. Every time he tried to run off, his owner tugged on his collar, sometimes gently, sometimes with a little more force.

I looked at that dog, and thought, “This is how we are with our thoughts.” They take our attention here, there and everywhere. They zap our energy, hold us captive and keep us from becoming our glorious, sparkling selves. We have to rein them in just as that woman did with her dog.

Click here to discover 3 boundaries crucial to your freedom.



Find Your Freedom With These Tips

With July 4th right around the corner, now is the perfect time to focus on manifesting a sense of freedom in your daily life. This month’s posts will be all about helping you shake free of the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that have been holding you back from achieving your dreams, so you can declare your independence, step into your diamond power and have a sparkling good time this summer and throughout the year!

Declare to Have More Fun

One of the most common complaints I hear from women is that they don’t have fun anymore. I was talking to a client who’s attending my upcoming retreatand I mentioned to her that we’d be doing some belly dancing to connect and liberate our feminine essence (any form of dancing is a quick, easy way to get out of our heads and into our bodies and have fun!). She commented she wasn’t much for dancing and while she didn’t say much more than that, I was pretty sure I knew why.

So many of us have a fear of looking foolish or being judged by other people. Many women don’t allow themselves the freedom to express through body movement because of these fears. Truly nothing stops the flow of fun quicker than the fear of being judged – you stiffen, contract and box yourself in – almost like putting on a straight jacket. It’s almost impossible to have fun when you feel so constrained! On the other hand, as soon as you release the fear of looking silly, you’re able to let loose and have a great time. Make the declaration that you are letting go of caring what others think and you are free to have fun!

Declare to Speak Your Truth

In my coaching practice, I meet a lot of women who are afraid to say what’s important to them because they don’t think they’ll be heard or taken seriously. But when we hold our thoughts and suppress what we want to say day in and day out, we start to feel very heavy. Speaking your truth allows you to live in integrity with yourself and honor your own needs as much as everyone else’s. It brings a lightness to your spirit, a sense of expansion and empowerment.

One of my clients recently began to speak freely with her boyfriend about things she’d never felt comfortable bringing up before. She’d always been careful to think about what was in his best interests, and now she’s addressing what’s in her best interests as well. He was a little surprised at first and didn’t know how to react to this change in her behavior, but she feels incredibly empowered and free.

When you start speaking your truth, you may find that others don’t respond well at first, because they are used to you being and acting in a certain way. Know that by speaking up and setting new boundaries not only are you growing, but you are actually providing them with the opportunity to grow too, even if it doesn’t look like it initially. Believe me, it’s a win/win!

Declare to Nourish Your Mind, Body, and Well-Being

You may decide that this is the month you’re going to release those last five pounds you’ve been holding onto or finally get back into your favorite old jeans that have been hanging in your closet for two years. If so, fantastic! AND you can also make July the month you start meditating/praying, moving your body more or getting more sleep. This declaration is about being more caring to yourself and your body, worrying less about everyone else and focusing on what makes you feel like your most gorgeous, sparkling self.

Declare to Create Balance in Your Life

Just because the kids are out of school doesn’t mean that you have to be at their beck and call every second of the day. Set some boundaries and declare your freedom from the commitments you don’t want to make. Start saying “no” instead of “yes,” and don’t feel guilty about it! Your life doesn’t have to revolve around your kids’ and other people’s demands.

Which of these declarations speak to you? Do you have one of your own for July? Leave a comment below and tell me how you’re going to revel in your freedom this summer!



Top Tip to Break Out of Your Rut

One of the reasons I love this season is because there is no shortage of opportunities to get out and have some fun. However, so many of us are stuck in the same old routine, hitting the same beaches, staying at the same hotels, and attending the same annual holiday BBQs. There’s nothing wrong with tradition – if that tradition brings you joy – but why not make this the “Summer of New Sparkling Adventures” by trying something you’ve never done before?!

Break Out of Your Summer Rut

I have a client who came to one of my workshops last summer. At the age of 50 that trip marked the first time she’d ever gotten onto a plane by herself! She’d come from a big family, married young, had kids and had never thought of going away without them. She confided that while she’d always wanted to do something for herself, she felt selfish even considering it.

A lot of women think it’s selfish to do something they want to do. They think, “I shouldn’t spend the money,” or they worry about what their families will think if they take off alone.

The truth is this…Click here to discover an easy way to break out of your rut.



PS Soul Sparkle Retreat is SOLD OUT! If you missed this one and know you want this experience send us your info and we’ll put your name on the top of the list to contact for next year’s retreat!!

Open Yourself Up to Positive Criticism

This month, we’re celebrating summer with a series of posts aimed at getting you ready to reveal your gorgeous selves to the whole wide world. I’m not just talking about how to feel good in a bikini—although for some of us, getting there is a major win! I’m talking about developing the confidence to reveal your true diamond essence so that you can live a life that sparkles with love and joy.

I know all of you out there want to live that life, and you’re certainly all deserving of it but you may not know how to get there. Here’s the thing, getting there starts with having an awareness of what’s blocking you. Most of my clients come to me because something in their life went askew and they need help figuring that out and getting a plan for how to move forward. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t figured it out on your own – to quote Les Brown, “It’s hard to see the picture when you are the one in the frame.”

Often, we’re stymied by a belief that isn’t true, a fear we’ve picked up in childhood or a protective mechanism that’s no longer serving us.

The trouble with these very common issues is that they’re often lurking just beneath our conscious awareness, driving us to behave in ways that can negatively affect our relationships and keep us from moving forward. Here’s the good news: overcoming these obstacles is simple when you are open and willing to give up the lone ranger syndrome and ask for a little help.

When Criticism Is a Good Thing

Most of us want to be the most sparkling, fabulous version of ourselves we can be – and that can be challenging without a caring support system to give you some honest feedback. And while the idea of exposing yourself to other people’s perceptions of you might be daunting, there are ways you can go about it that will keep things safe, constructive and loving.

  • The first step is to check in with yourself. Make sure you are coming to this process from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to learn about yourself. Remember, you’re mining for diamonds, removing the sludge that’s accumulated over a lifetime so that you can shine more brightly and be the person you truly are!
  • Next, you want to make sure that you choose the right people. Pick three people in your life who you know love you and want what’s best for you.
  • Make it clear that your intention is to grow as a person and improve your relationship. Ask them to give you feedback in a way that is constructive. Tell them you’re interested in hearing how they perceive you and that you want to know if you’re doing anything that feels manipulative, controlling or less than lovely.
  • Give them time. It’s important to recognize that people might be afraid to tell you what they think so let them know that they don’t have to answer right away. However, put a time frame on the request and don’t allow it to extend beyond a week.
  • Don’t take it personally but do take it seriously. Understand that whatever is reflected back to you, isn’t meant as an insult and remind yourself that you asked for the feedback. I remember right after my divorce asking a good friend of mine how I showed up in life – man it was painful to hear but in my gut I knew he was right. His honest share proved to be a powerful catalyst for my growth and transformation. On the flip side keep in mind that everyone has had their own experiences in life which give them their unique perspectives – what they share may NOT feel like a truth and that’s ok. No need to get defensive – keep reminding yourself you requested the feedback – let it flow.
  • Make them a partner in this conversation. Ask them how you might improve or show up for them in a meaningful way to evolve the relationship or who you are in life.

No matter what you hear, even if you don’t think it’s true, be grateful to them for the feedback and be compassionate to yourself. This exercise is very challenging, but it has the potential to take you and your relationships to a glorious new level. When you do give this a try, leave a comment below and let me know how it went!



PS. If you would like to be free of the thoughts that haunt you and hurt you, Soul Sparkle Retreat would be a great benefit for youIt’s not just the week-end, it’s what happens afterwards that changes your life completely:)

Simply click here to sign up to speak with me to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. If you are ready to shut the door on the patterns that keep you stuck book a time to chat with me – this is your moment, it will be another year till the next retreat. Give yourself the gift of getting unstuck NOW!

How to Open Up for More Fulfilling Relationships

Summer is here, which means it’s time to come out of hibernation and stand in the dazzling light of day! In my last post, Self-Love Tips for an Incredible Summer [Insert Link will do once complete], we learned some great tools to deepen acceptance around our bodies so that we can stand in our sparkling brilliance all season long. But for many of us, our bodies aren’t all that we’ve been hiding.

So many women are struggling to connect with the people in their lives, or they want to take their closest relationships deeper but don’t know where to begin. Great relationships are all about connection. The key to connection is allowing others to feel us. This means speaking straight from your heart, being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be truly known.

For competent women who are used to being in charge and in control, opening up like this can be very scary. We get so attached to the potential outcome and worry that by expressing our fears, needs, desires, and yes, even our love to another person, they will judge us, abandon us, stop loving us or think we are weak.

So, what do we do?

We attempt to control the outcome – we control what we say and how we say it, we do our best to be perfect, often hiding what we really want to say. In our attempt to orchestrate the best outcome – we not only monitor what we say, we often try to control others in the process. That rarely turns out the way we want because we are speaking from our heads instead of our hearts. When we do that, the other person can’t FEEL us and when someone can’t feel you they generally tune out or turn off! The exact opposite of what we are looking to create; deeply bonded relationships.

Click here to find out what a client did to feel safe being vulnerable.



PS. If you would like to open your heart and be free to share your love in a way that creates meaningful relationships Soul Sparkle Retreat would be life changing for you. It’s not just the week-end, it’s what happens afterwards that changes your life completely:).

Simply click here to sign up to speak with me to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. If you are ready to heal and open your heart book a time to chat with me – this is your moment, it will be another year till the next retreat. Give yourself the gift of living with FULL SPARKLE NOW!

Self-Love Tips for an Incredible Summer

Summer is just around the corner, ladies, and I think you know what that means: longer days, more time outside, and significantly less clothing! This month, in celebration of the season that has us baring more of our bodies and heading outdoors, we’re going to focus on helping you to reveal — and revel in — your true sparkling essence!

To get started, I want to look at this idea of revelation in its most literal form. When temperatures begin to climb, we’re forced to reveal parts of ourselves that we’ve been covering up all winter. The thought of putting on a bathing suit in public can make even the most confident woman feel vulnerable, and send her off in search of the latest fad diet. As a matter of fact did you know that 91% of women hate their bodies?

I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way! It is possible for you to believe, deep down, that you’re gorgeous just the way you are.

Words Have Power

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’re familiar with the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto. In one of Emoto’s experiments, he placed two glasses of water drawn from an identical source next to each other. On one glass, he wrote positive messages and on the other, negative.

Later, Emoto viewed the water from both glasses under a microscope. What he discovered was astounding: the water crystals in the glass with the positive words looked like beautiful snowflakes, whereas the crystals in the glass with negative words were disfigured and murky.

The words we use to describe ourselves can have a dramatic impact on how we feel, physically and mentally. That’s why it’s so important that we begin to speak to ourselves using loving, nurturing and supportive language.

If you have trouble with specific parts of your body, you can start by looking in the mirror and asking yourself, “What has this part of my body helped me with?” Your stomach may have helped you to bear children. Maybe your hips make you feel sexy when you dance. Sturdy legs help you run and jump. Merely recognizing how amazing your body is can take you a step closer to loving it.

How One of My Clients Deepened Her Self Love

If you want to go a little deeper, take washable markers and write loving words on the parts of your body that you have a hard time accepting. One of my clients, who used to call her stomach her “spare tire,” reported amazing results after doing this for only a few short weeks. Every day, before getting into the shower, she drew hearts and rainbows and wrote “I love you,” onto her stomach. Then, as she let the water rain down on her, she’d imagine the words and images soaking deep into her body and soul.

Through this practice, she was able to shift her mindset entirely. Her negative perspective began to shrink, and she admitted that she was no longer worried about her stomach, in fact, she had grown to love it.

From the time we’re little girls, our culture tells us we have to look a specific way to be deserving of love and acceptance, but that’s not true! It’s our attitude about ourselves that tells other people how to love us. Watch this video for a very inspiring story about a woman who is embracing her body image:

When we are truly accepting of ourselves, we can sparkle the brightest. I want you to go into these summer months ready to shine like the gorgeous diamond that you are!



PS. If you would like to be free of the thoughts that haunt you and hurt you, Soul Sparkle Retreat would be a great benefit for you. It’s not just the week-end, it’s what happens afterwards that changes your life completely:)

Simply click here to sign up to speak with me to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. If you are ready to shut the door on the patterns that keep you stuck book a time to chat with me – this is your moment, it will be another year till the next retreat. Give yourself the gift of getting unstuck NOW!

Overcome Distractions with These Helpful Tips

This month, we’re celebrating spring with a series of posts aimed at helping you clear space, get healthy and achieve your heart’s desire. I know every one of you reading this is capable of great things! I also know – from years of coaching – that every woman encounters distractions on the path to success. It’s inevitable.

Do you want to know the secret to what separates the clients who succeed and the ones who have a much harder time achieving positive results?

It’s actually quite simple. The successful ones get back on track quickly by refocusing on their original goals. This is crucial! Whatever our intention we must support it with our attention because whatever we put our attention on grows. Mama mia!! You can see why we want to be very aware of our thoughts and actions – making sure that they support our intention. Otherwise it can be a slippery slope of disappointment and frustration.

So if you find yourself struggling to make the changes you’d looooove to make in your health, relationships or career, know you are not alone. Many of us unwittingly allow some common distractions to get in our way.

And while numerous factors can cause us to lose focus, I’ve identified three major dream destroyers that seem to pop up for everyone at some point or another.

Take a look – which of these is robbing you of your focus?


We all have negative thoughts that crop up from time to time. However, if you’ve found yourself stuck in a rut that you can’t climb out of, it could be that you’ve let self-doubt take over. When this happens, you start seeing your obstacles and struggles as the reasons you’ll never be successful as opposed to what they are: opportunities for growth.

Remember, we become successful by taking action in spite of our circumstances. The reality is we all have circumstances, but we don’t want our circumstances to have us!

If you believe that self-doubt is limiting your potential, work on releasing yourself from the fear, guilt, shame and frustration you feel about what hasn’t worked or the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Remind yourself that struggle is an invitation for personal evolution.

Ask yourself – what is there to learn here? What is it I need to see to step out of this cycle? What new behavior or way of thinking can I adopt in order to change my results? And then take action on the answers you receive.

Comparison and Competition

Do you compare yourself to other women or people you see as more successful than you? Congratulations! You’re human! Comparison can be an essential part of your decision-making process – we learn a lot from studying how other people have achieved success in their lives.

But when you use comparison to reinforce unrealistic or negative beliefs about yourself, it can be extremely unhealthy. Mark Twain said that “comparison is the death of joy,” and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing can breed feelings of envy, low self-confidence, and depression.

So, the next time you find yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your self-worth, celebrate their success and compassionately redirect your energy and attention on your own personal goals. Make a decision to take one action that will move you towards your goal.

In addition, know that no one’s success is any better than anyone else’s. We each are moving forward in our unique way, doing the best we can, with what we have and where we are at. We can be fixated on what we think success looks like, but in reality there are so many types of success that we brush off as not being significant or worthy of our acknowledgement.

So take a moment to reflect every night on something you did or thought that supported you being a person of increase. That might look like going to the gym or visiting an elderly neighbor or the decision to have a different thought that supported you in the moment. Yes a decision to think a higher quality thought is a success and actually a HUGE success because that one decision to think an empowered thought is affecting the trajectory of your future . This one shift has the ability to creates a positive snowball effect and that’s a BIG success! So stay aware lovely!

Loss of Excitement, Joy, and Passion

We all want to live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling, but high enthusiasm can be challenging to maintain over long periods of time. It’s not uncommon to lose your joy and excitement while on the journey towards your best life.

When this happens, it’s important to remind yourself why this dream was so important to you in the first place. Focusing on the “why” can help you accomplish almost anything because it connects you with what really matters to you and that builds a burning desire which brings back your passion! Woohoooo beauty – life feels thrilling again!

So, what is your WHY? Take a moment to get clear if you aren’t already. We so easily get amnesia when life doesn’t go the way we want or when we get triggered so set yourself up for success with this easy structure of support: write your WHY on post-it’s and put them everywhere to jog your memory and get you back on track with your focused passion!

So, there you have it! The three biggest dream distractors, and some tips to help you keep your focus where it belongs: on creating your most fabulous, fun and love-filled life.

Here’s to staying on the path to your dream. You CAN do it. And if you need a little push, set up some support!



PS. If you would like the freedom to move towards what you desire without the stealth committee dive bombing your mind with self-doubt, comparison and blah thoughts the Soul Sparkle Retreat would be a great next step for you.

Simply click here to schedule a time to speak with me to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. If you are ready to shut the door on the patterns that keep you stuck book a time to chat with me – only 1 spot left! Give yourself the gift of getting unstuck!

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Sherri Nickols

Sherri Nickols
Sparkling Mojo Specialist

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