Posts Tagged ‘Feminine Power’

How to Get Unstuck in Love & Life

Saturday, November 24th, 2012

Do you ever feel boxed in? Stuck. Anxious. Agitated.Thinking, “What’s going on is not ok, this isn’t what I signed up for, not what I was expecting, not how I want to spend my time, get me out of here, etc.” And it’s really cramping your style because it’s hard to feel fully feminine and sensual when you are agitated. But you don’t know what to do to get unstuck – so you shrink up and silently suffer.

Not anymore! There’s a simple solution that will empower you – create a new reality.

Face it. The situation isn’t going to change unless you change. Creating a new reality can mean anything from changing your physical location to changing your attitude/perspective.

Whether single, divorcing or married, there are many circumstances or environments you may wish you weren’t in – to successfully overcome the discomfort it’s important to take personal responsibility and realize you have two choices:
o Stay in it and stew
o Create a new reality

Our insightful forefather, Abraham Lincoln, says “People are about as happy as they decide to be.” And if you think about it, there is such wisdom in his statement. How you live your life is nothing more than a mind-set. If you choose not to change your mind-set you’ll experience the following three things:

* Attract more of the same – living a Ground Hog’s day existence
* Anxiety or annoyance – creating a negative vibe.
* Discomfort to those around you. Yes your mood directly affects those around you.

You may think you have the best poker face in town but your vibes speak volumes! Not only can you not hide your inner thoughts, they are magnetically attracting an equivalent match and bringing you more of what you don’t want. Yikes!

And really what’s the point of stewing – you will carry this energy into your next event of the day, or worse yet, to bed with you. If you do not ditch this energy you’ll wake up with it and start your day behind the eight ball and have another crappy day.

On the other hand, if you choose to create a new reality you will empower yourself and your life. One of my clients, Janine, did a brilliant job of this. She and her husband of 30-plus years were having a lot of marital problems. They had been living like roommates for several months and nowhere near as close as she desired. She had just enrolled in a course with me and decided to listen to one of
the bonus calls with a sensuality expert who gave lots of tips on how to seduce your man without saying a word.

One night she decided to try out a suggested seductive pose along with other flirty techniques she learned. When she heard her husband drive up she got into a curvy, sexy pose but he barely noticed her. She didn’t take it personally because she remembered the expert saying men need a woman to look at them at least four times before they “get it.” God love her, she did not give up! Nor did she allow her husband’s non-responsiveness to shut her down. Instead she patiently continued to pose every chance she got and noticed something was starting to change inside of her – she started to feel good about herself and continued for her own sheer enjoyment. Low and behold her husband suddenly locked eyes with her; they flirted and kissed and had the most passionate night she could remember in ages!

She was giddy with excitement and shared that she felt sensuous, feminine and fabulous.

It’s no coincidence that he noticed and wanted her exactly when she got to this point— she was dwelling in the sweet spot of her magnificence without any external need of attention.

That’s the secret we learn: When we’re in right relationship with ourselves, all good things flow to—and from—us

It was a valuable lesson not only for her but for everyone – whenever you are in a situation that doesn’t make you happy remind yourself that choices are always available to you. Make a conscious decision to choose that which will empower you and make you most happy.

Just a slight shift in your perspective can bring a 180 degree change in your reality. It may also open a door to learn something new about yourself – most certainly the realization that you have the power to create your reality.

The choice is always yours, either stay in your mood and stew like a miserable martyr, or create a new reality like the sparkling soul you are…who will YOU choose to be?

5 Questions & Actions To Help You Live From Your Heart

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Are you sitting home with your partner, night after night, feeling lonelier than if you actually lived alone? Do you long for the past when you and your honey were so connected you couldn’t wait to be with each other and share every detail of your day? Are you pulling your hair out trying to remember how and when the disconnection began?

Here’s a hint – disconnect happens when you start living from your head instead of your heart. It’s easy to slip into this scenario – he says something that hurts your feelings and suddenly you don’t feel so free to share your inner thoughts. The wall goes up – what if I say this and he thinks that? I better just keep those feelings and thoughts under wraps lest I’m judged, criticized, rejected or thought stupid…and slowly the disconnect begins and you become a talking head.The best life however is one that’s lived in joy and gratitude, and the best way to experience those feelings is to be heart-centered.

Toughening up after heartbreak, vowing to stay strong to protect ourselves from future hurt, a current relationship that is disappointing, unfulfilling, and un-luscious can all prevent us from living in a happy and healthy loving state.

So how can you identify when you’re out of balance or living in a closed off and protective state, absent of juicy joy?

Here are five questions to ask yourself:

1. Do I love myself?
2. Am I able to forgive myself for past wrongs?
3. Am I able to forgive past hurts from others?
4. Do I blame myself for all that is wrong in my life?
5. Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to shower yourself with some extra TLC. To start with, use the following affirmations in your daily health regimen:

1. I am worthy of love.
2. I release my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.
3. I am loving towards myself and others.

As you practice these affirmations daily, you’ll begin to feel your desire for more love in your life. You may notice that you feel more loving toward yourself and others.

Here are five actions to incorporate into your daily life to continue to expand your heart center:

1. Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing as you clean house or go about daily chores. Sing with your favorite singer or group or sing solo. Let it rip! Allow yourself to sing out loud and sing out strong—you’ll feel your heart expand as you do. I bet you’ll even notice a great big smile on your face. Now, how awesome is that!

2. Play with a child or pet. Both children and animals live in the present moment. A child’s laughter is contagious. An animal’s unconditional love is healing. Both children and animals remind us to lighten up and not take everything so seriously. They also show us that it is possible to let go of past hurts and move on. So, go play, have fun and lighten up!

3. Spend time in nature. Mother Nature reminds us to just BE. She also shows us that all is as it should BE. Enjoy a walk near water or stand amongst a grove of tall trees. Have a picnic in a meadow of flowers. Get quiet and listen to the messages from nature—the singing and chirping of birds, the rustling of the leaves as the wind blows, the sound of the water as it bounces across rocks in a stream. Let nature soothe and heal you and remind you that you are amazing and fabulous just because you’re YOU.

4. Figure out what brings you joy and happiness and do it! If this seems difficult to identify, think about what you loved doing as a child. As children, we loved feeling joyful and happy and we loved to have fun. Did you like to ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade, play hopscotch, swing, jump rope, play ball, swim, surf, curl up and read a book or did you like to pretend you lived in an enchanted land? Think back and remember who you were as a child—it’s the biggest clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.

5. Phone or spend time with someone you love. Spending time alone is great, but hanging out with your best girlfriends or the guys can be even better to connect you with your heart. Sometimes we want to be in a group, but at other times you might just need some good ol’ heart-to-heart talking with just one person you love and trust. Those who we love and who love us are our best mirrors for how amazing we are.

As you do more to open your heart and live from your heart, you’ll find yourself experiencing joy and gratitude more regularly. Not only will life feel more expansive as a result, but your relationships will feel more deeply connected. And that’s the best of all worlds!

xo

The Top Three Feelings & Beliefs That Can Trip You Up

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Do you find yourself doing, doing, doing for everyone but yourself and then feeling consumed by guilt when you decide to take time for you or set limits around your availability or what you’re willing to do for others? Do you label yourself as “selfish” when you want to do something for yourself or even by yourself? Do you ever feel ashamed because there are times you don’t want to do anything for anybody else?

These questions may feel a bit uncomfortable (maybe even silly), but really think about this for a moment. How often do you do something for or with others because it just doesn’t feel right to focus on yourself? If you really delve deeper, I bet you’ll uncover these exact beliefs and feelings (or something very close) at the root of your actions or inaction.

These three culprits are notorious for tripping women up and keeping us from taking care of ourselves:
• Guilt
• Shame
• Selfishness

Yes indeed, they can trip us up and keep us from being the sparkling diamonds we’re meant to be. Yet, our beautiful, brilliant, multi-faceted radiance cannot shine if we don’t take some time to polish and buff. Just like a diamond, we need self-care in order to really glitter and glow.

Let’s take a brief look at each of these:

Guilt – if you are like most women, you might feel guilty for taking time to replenish your own reservoir of life-giving energy. If, however, you intend to continue giving your time and attention to loved ones, the only way you can do this is to be kind and loving to yourself first. As odd as it may seem, the most loving thing you can do for the people you care about is to first take care of you. So right now, right here, write down at least 1-3 things you can do to nurture you – and then do one of them!

Selfishness – sometimes others take advantage of your desire to serve. They can call at all hours of the day and night and expect you to be available at a moment’s notice, especially when they’re experiencing a crisis. When you get courageous enough, you may set boundaries around your availability. As soon as you do, an alarming voice might resound in your head, screaming at you about how selfish you are being. That distorted belief of what it means to be selfish kicks in and challenges you to wonder how you could ever think you were so special to deserve to put yourself first. Along with beliefs of selfishness come thoughts of how horrible you are. To overcome this ask yourself what your pay-off is for buying into the belief that you are selfish. Then set a healthy boundary and stand strong.

Shame – felt right after selfishness is the third self-deprecating feeling. You feel ashamed for thinking you were so special or significant as to put yourself above another. The dance of blame and shame begins as another way to hold you back and keep you from taking care of yourself adequately.

Many women wrestle with these three feelings and beliefs. At the top of the heap is usually guilt. Ask yourself, “Who would I be without guilt?” Dig deep to see if you can get to the root of what holds you to these feelings of guilt because without guilt you can be a new woman—sparkling, replenished, refreshed, and ready to give once again to others.

The best way to make this shift is to start making choices that honor your own value. For instance, if you decide to nurture yourself by going for a run and a friend calls to vent, either let the call go to voicemail or answer the call and let her know you’ll call her back afterward. When you allow others’ needs to take precedence over your own, you are not valuing yourself. It’s imperative that you make yourself the priority. You can then stop the guilt by reminding yourself that when you feel out of sorts, the quality of your giving will be less than adequate.

So take a break and take care of you. It will help reduce your own stress, keep you in good health, and allow you to be even more nurturing to others. Then, what others will get is the best version of you: the sparkling diamond that is YOU.

Attitude – Principle #3 of The Sparkle System

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Attitude – the 3rd principle of The Sparkle System is more than just a cheery disposition – it’s about owning the fullness of who you are…it’s a mindset…it’s about stepping out of being the “understudy” and becoming the “leading lady” of your life! Watch this short video and find out how Marilyn Monroe adjusted her attitude in a nanosecond to be sexy and sparkling!

Passion – Principle #2 of The Sparkle System

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

Passion is the second principle of The Sparkle System. When “life” happens this seems to be the first thing to fly out the window. Loving your life means living with passion every day no matter what! This 2 minute video will give you a quick tool to help you do just that…would love to hear how you feel after incorporating this easy technique – share a comment or email me at sherri@unleashyourself.com To living your passion unedited! xo

IFRAME Embed for Youtube

Relationship Advice: Throw Out The Rules!

Friday, April 17th, 2009

After coaching and interviewing lots of ladies, I find many are caught in the conundrum that labels women who embrace their sexuality as slutty. Welcome to “Society Says.” You’ve been told to “Let the man take the lead.” Many women can’t get past this “rule” and stay stuck never to realize their desires.

The message compounds if you’ve been reared with any staunch religious dogma. You probably have the good girl vs. bad girl inner conflict going on coupled with gobs of guilt for having even the tiniest of naughty thoughts. Well something’s got to give – it’s time to take the bull by the horns and stop waiting for your man to step up to the plate.

Here are 3 tips for freedom:
-    Get clear and make a list of the limiting “rules” you’ve been living by.
-    Give yourself permission to release these beliefs that are not in alignment with your desires.
-    Decide what you want in your romantic relationship – make a list of your top 3 desires.
-    Map out a romantic roadmap with time frames as to when you will implement your desires.
-    Feel good about yourself and live, love and laugh with total freedom!

Congratulations, you are now committed to giving yourself permission to live authentically!