Are you sitting home with your partner, night after night, feeling lonelier than if you actually lived alone? Do you long for the past when you and your honey were so connected you couldn’t wait to be with each other and share every detail of your day? Are you pulling your hair out trying to remember how and when the disconnection began?

Here’s a hint – disconnect happens when you start living from your head instead of your heart. It’s easy to slip into this scenario – he says something that hurts your feelings and suddenly you don’t feel so free to share your inner thoughts. The wall goes up – what if I say this and he thinks that? I better just keep those feelings and thoughts under wraps lest I’m judged, criticized, rejected or thought stupid…and slowly the disconnect begins and you become a talking head.The best life however is one that’s lived in joy and gratitude, and the best way to experience those feelings is to be heart-centered.

Toughening up after heartbreak, vowing to stay strong to protect ourselves from future hurt, a current relationship that is disappointing, unfulfilling, and un-luscious can all prevent us from living in a happy and healthy loving state.

So how can you identify when you’re out of balance or living in a closed off and protective state, absent of juicy joy?

Here are five questions to ask yourself:

1. Do I love myself?
2. Am I able to forgive myself for past wrongs?
3. Am I able to forgive past hurts from others?
4. Do I blame myself for all that is wrong in my life?
5. Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to shower yourself with some extra TLC. To start with, use the following affirmations in your daily health regimen:

1. I am worthy of love.
2. I release my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.
3. I am loving towards myself and others.

As you practice these affirmations daily, you’ll begin to feel your desire for more love in your life. You may notice that you feel more loving toward yourself and others.

Here are five actions to incorporate into your daily life to continue to expand your heart center:

1. Sing. Sing in the shower. Sing in the car. Sing as you clean house or go about daily chores. Sing with your favorite singer or group or sing solo. Let it rip! Allow yourself to sing out loud and sing out strong—you’ll feel your heart expand as you do. I bet you’ll even notice a great big smile on your face. Now, how awesome is that!

2. Play with a child or pet. Both children and animals live in the present moment. A child’s laughter is contagious. An animal’s unconditional love is healing. Both children and animals remind us to lighten up and not take everything so seriously. They also show us that it is possible to let go of past hurts and move on. So, go play, have fun and lighten up!

3. Spend time in nature. Mother Nature reminds us to just BE. She also shows us that all is as it should BE. Enjoy a walk near water or stand amongst a grove of tall trees. Have a picnic in a meadow of flowers. Get quiet and listen to the messages from nature—the singing and chirping of birds, the rustling of the leaves as the wind blows, the sound of the water as it bounces across rocks in a stream. Let nature soothe and heal you and remind you that you are amazing and fabulous just because you’re YOU.

4. Figure out what brings you joy and happiness and do it! If this seems difficult to identify, think about what you loved doing as a child. As children, we loved feeling joyful and happy and we loved to have fun. Did you like to ride your bike, roller skate, roller blade, play hopscotch, swing, jump rope, play ball, swim, surf, curl up and read a book or did you like to pretend you lived in an enchanted land? Think back and remember who you were as a child—it’s the biggest clue to what will bring you joy as an adult.

5. Phone or spend time with someone you love. Spending time alone is great, but hanging out with your best girlfriends or the guys can be even better to connect you with your heart. Sometimes we want to be in a group, but at other times you might just need some good ol’ heart-to-heart talking with just one person you love and trust. Those who we love and who love us are our best mirrors for how amazing we are.

As you do more to open your heart and live from your heart, you’ll find yourself experiencing joy and gratitude more regularly. Not only will life feel more expansive as a result, but your relationships will feel more deeply connected. And that’s the best of all worlds!

xo