Last week we dipped our big toe into the idea of creating more balance when our life is bobbing about from emotional and physical circumstances. We talked about finding stability amidst the underlying wobbles of life. You were given a 5-step formula not only to keep you afloat, but for flowing intentionally – so you can consistently make progress towards your desires and dreams. How are you doing with that?
This week would you be willing to go a little deeper lovely? I’m not talkin’ full plunge, just shimmying in up to your waist line… It will be worth your while!
Ok let’s do it! I’ve been having some powerful conversations with my Sparkle Sister Circle about the key to building more of a grounded foundation – based on ONE thing only and I want you to be privy to it.
Basically we’ve been talking about what Gay Hendricks calls ‘Upper Limits’. This implies each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, happiness, money, confidence, good health etc. we allow ourselves to have. This applies to every aspect of your life. When we surpass the setting we often do something to sabotage ourselves and bring us back down to the old level where we feel secure. Now, we may not like this level, but there is something about it that makes us feel safe.
A la all the turbulent waters we discussed last week that we are wading and wobbling in. The truth is there is a gorgeous bright Life beckoning us all the time (pic above) but most of us stop ourselves from expanding into this Light with these upper limits, sinking back down into the dark familiar clouds in our minds.
Wouldn’t it be awesome to create more solid state and breakthrough our upper limits? “Sassy!”, said one of my Sparkle Sisters to that idea. I hope you are thinking the same because it truly can change your life!
What I’m about to share is nothing new – however, I invite you to read it with a reflective, beginners mind. We really do ourselves a disservice when we breeze past things with a dismissive, “I know that”, because the truth is if your life does not reflect what you desire you don’t know it. You may know it intellectually but not on a cellular level. In other words you may “know” it in your head but your body didn’t get the memo. And that’s a HUGE difference.
So you’re probably saying, “Come on already Sherri, what is this ONE thing?” I get it – I always want to get right to the point myself – so here it is… SELF-LOVE.
Pure and simple a solid foundation of self-love will allow you to push thru any upper limit.
In all my years of coaching what I have found over and over and over again is that brilliant, competent, capable, creative, beautiful women are not getting what they desire because deep down (in those troubled waters) they don’t believe they deserve it – whatever “it” is for them…love, happiness, prosperity, vibrant health etc.
I am here to tell you that’s baloney!!! You deserve to lasso the moon! And if you don’t believe it, believe in my belief.
The Bible says:
I was created in God’s own image (Genesis 1:27)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
You can’t be more deserving and valuable than this for heaven’s sake!
The problem is over the years we’ve taken in soooo many negative situations/emotions/ experiences and we’ve sat on them, buried them and wallowed in them – not allowing things to flow thru. We end up like the Dead Sea – stagnant and stuck.
7 Tips to develop more self-love:
- Think about what is upetting you, identify the emotion associated with it, notice where it is in your body – put a hand on that area and sit with it, allowing it to flow until the emotion has dissipated (usually about 90 seconds to 2 minutes). Painful at first, but quickly free’ing!
- Write loving words on your body before you bathe. As you wipe them away imagine the essence of the word soaking into your body.
- Write yourself a love letter – and GUSH
- Make a list of what’s great about YOU and add to it every night before you go to bed.
- Do something that brings you joy daily.
- Stare at a color you love – this will automatically shift your energy and increase your love vibration
- Listen to Christian music (i.e. – I Can Only Imagine) or any song that brings you happiness.
As you engage in these activities you create more loving space for yourself (and others) in your body which will build a bigger foundation of self love and allow you to soar to new heights allowing for a bigger richer life!
Choose one of these actions today and let me know the result 🙂 The love you desire is within – it’s REAL and it’s there for you 24/7! Dive in lovely – you can do this!!!
PS I’ve got a BIG announcement!!! Want to be the “first” to know about what’s coming this summer? Does the idea of releasing the past, renewing your energy and letting your Sparkle shine sound good? Then CLICK HERE for more information!
Last week in the community call I shared how I had just returned from a phenomenal pilgrimage to Israel – truly transformational!
One of the adventures I talked about on that call, and would like to dive deeper into today, was my experience at the Dead Sea.
It began as our bus of 59 pilgrims rounded the bend and caught our first glimpse of the water – stunningly still and shimmering under the brilliance of the sun. As we pulled into Herods Dead Sea Spa, we couldn’t get out quick enough to suit up and frolick in that salty sea.
And boy did we!!
Some dashed right in, others slowly, but no matter how we entered, we all seemed to bob around precariously (trying to avoid salt in the eye – warned that would be no bueno!) until we let ourselves float.
And the real fun began as we attempted playful floating poses (a la me in pic above). The operative word being “attempted” – ay yi yi!!! It was soon discovered any movement in this wiggly water caused instant instability. And that’s when a lesson dropped in.
If you found February to be less romantic than expected you are not alone. Many women confided they felt disappointed and disconnected (especially those in relationships). So today I want to share with you the key to a love life full of passion and soul-to-soul connection. It’s powerful. It’s sacred. It opens the gateway to intimacy.
Wanna know what it is…?
It’s actually quite simple…
TOUCH….absolutely key to feeling connected. It engages the senses God gave us for our emotional and physical well-being and pleasure, and is a powerful way to express what we cannot say. Yet still, we are a touch-starved society.
Don’t get me wrong; women love to hear the words, “I love you”, but touching launches relationships into intimacy by directly accessing the emotional self. Words are processed in the thinking part of the brain, while touch is processed by the emotional centers.
Endorphins, released by touching your lover or your own beautiful body, flow through the body creating a sense of caring and pleasure while calming daily stress.
A worldwide study done in the 1960s monitored the number of touches couples shared at coffeehouses around the world. The results reveal the drastic cultural differences we apply to skin-on-skin contact. Puerto Ricans got the prize-touching 180 times an hour, while Americans adhered to a strict diet touching only twice within an hour.
Thus began some serious research on the importance of touch, leading to the discovery that the amount of skin-to-skin contact in our lives plays a crucial role in our happiness and vitality. The act of touching influences our ability to form close relationships with other people, to deal with stress and pain, and even to fight off disease. The hunger for touch may manifest as depression, anxiety, irritability, boredom, pain, moodiness as well as make you feel isolated, separate and lonely.
So many women complain that their relationships lack intimacy-much of it arguably because of our touch barriers. We are born with an intense hunger for contact. The emotional development of babies depends on tons of touching and as adults we have a strong need to be held in someone’s arms, to hold hands, to be cuddled and caressed. Yet, most people don’t touch as often as they would like-afraid of being rejected as being needy or vulnerable, they cover their need for intimacy with work, activities, TV, food, drugs and alcohol.
If you want intimacy, it’s time to break the touch barriers! And the first step to developing a successful, intimate relationship with your partner is to first build intimacy with yourself. Exploring every inch of your body will help you get to know what you like and what makes you feel good. Once you’ve got this down, you can reach out to your partner with confidence to create the closeness you crave.
With all these fantastic reasons to bring touch into relationships let’s take a look at 7 ways you can incorporate touch into your life.
- Kissing: A 20-second kiss will raise his testosterone levels and make you feel closer.
- Moisturize head-to-toe: Applying lotion to your body guarantees that all of your skin will be touched and rubbed. For an added calming effect, use an aromatherapy lotion scented with lavender.
- Yoga: This popular fitness trend offers many of the benefits of touch because the poses involve rubbing limb against limb. Some Iyengar yoga classes also include a partnered practice-a great way to get your RDA of touching.
- Hugging: Full-body hugging increases closeness, connection and safety.
- Massage: The shoulders, hands and feet create an emotional release when touched. New York-based sex therapist Mildred Witkin suggests couples should practice touching in a way that is not explicitly sexual to keep intimacy and playfulness alive.
- Two to Tango: Dance classes are a great way to meet new people, and have your hand and waist held all evening long. Contact your local YMCA or dance studio for schedules.
- Back Rubs: Studies show that a daily back rub drastically reduces anxiety and creates positive changes in attitude.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, take the time to nurture yourself or your partner with some loving touch – it’s your gateway to intimacy, providing a powerful, solid message of care, support, acknowledgment and love.
As we are in the month of love there is a promise, a hope a thought… this year is gonna be different. I’ve spoken to so many of you in the Sparkle Community ( many of you in relationships) who’ve said, “This is MY year to experience that deeply connected love I desire -it’s time and I deserve it!”
Yes you do!!! You ABSOLUTELY deserve to experience great love and the time has never been better than now – so stand up, draw an invisible line, step over it and claim it victoriously! Do it now!
Whether you’re looking or in a committed relationship it’s time to take bold action moving you towards your dream. If you are single I always say there’s a lid for every pot and if you have a lid, well you may just crave a better fit. Regardless, make a decision for your dream by implementing what I’m about to share with you today.
Hmmmm…are you beginning to notice any anxiety rising up? Twitching. Starting to sweat. Are you hearing yourself blurt out, “Not so fast!. As much as I want that, it’s a little bit scary. I don’t know if I can trust again…I’m not sure I’m ready to open my heart again…but dang I really want it! Ay yi yi what a conundrum!
If that speaks to you in any way, and you’re ready to let your desires zoom past your fears you’ll want to learn the 3-step process shared in the video below.
That’s why I’m writing to you today. Because all those doubts can disappear… forever.
Click the video below to learn more!
It’s my easy-to-implement “3 STEPS to make it safe to love again” video. I created it especially for you, because I’ve been where you are.
And I know that deep down you are longing to experience a love like no other.
By the time we’re done, you will have a key tool to succeed.
To set you free and help you feel safe to love again.
And steer you in the direction of the love you’ve missed out on all your life.
Now is your time! Leave behind the doubt, fear and paralysis that’s kept you hiding. A romantic adventurous and fulfilling love life is waiting for you!
Valentines greetings from Israel!
While I’m on a spiritual pilgrimage to deepen my own journey of expansion, growth, self love and connection with God, you’ve been on my mind:)
February 14th, as you know, is the most exalted love day of the month.
How are you doing?
If you are already in a wonderful relationship I’m wishing you a beautiful celebration:)) But if you’re not and you find yourself longing to be in a deeply loving and connected partnership you are in great company. In my experience as a coach, I’ve learned that the majority of women share this common desire.
We are all on this planet to love and be loved.
And we’ve all been there on Valentine’s Day. The one day of the year that makes being alone feel even harder. Every shop window is full of hearts and red roses. Restaurants are advertising their special Valentine’s Day menus. If you were in a relationship last year and this year you’re not, the day can become a difficult reminder of what’s missing from your life.
But it doesn’t have to be this way! Click here to discover how you can make this Valentine’s day one of your best EVER!
Let’s face it: most long-term couples find themselves in a romantic rut at one point or another. Between your kids’ busy schedules, your demanding jobs, and that never-ending and totally unsexy daily task list, it’s hard enough just to sit down and have a conversation, let alone make time for romance.
For some women, the problem is bigger than a lack of fun in the bedroom. They wish for a deeper sense of emotional intimacy and connection with their husbands. They think back to the early days of their courtship, to their lost sense of play and spontaneity and wonder if it’s possible to ever get that back.
I’ve got good news for you. It is absolutely possible to rekindle your sense of passion for each other!
All it takes is a willingness to try something new and spice things up! Are you game? Why not try a Romance-Capade? So what’s that you might ask? It’s a themed rendezvous meant to bring connection, fun and intimacy into your relationship.
You can follow any of the 15 presented in my book OR let your imagination go wild and create your own. With a little prep work and a spirit of fun, you’ll have a great time planning your sexy escapade.
One of my clients decided to do the Moroccan themed Romance-Capade for her husband’s birthday. Believe me when I tell you that she’d never imagined herself belly-dancing after 40 years of marriage!
She ended up having so much fun buying props and planning the evening. He loved it and she felt invigorated and empowered by the whole experience.
Here’s the deal: that guy you fell in love with, the one who gave you butterflies simply by looking in your direction, he’s still in there! And he wants to come out and play just as much as you do!
Like my client, mix things up with a little moxy and create a romantic evening that brings you and your partner back to those heady days of dating. Make his favorite dinner and eat it by candlelight. Create a playlist of songs from that time in your life and you’ll be sure to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Here are some idea’s to get you started….
Fill your bathroom with candles and draw a luxurious bath for the two of you. Or bring the balmy, romantic nights of Hawaii to your home with a sexy hula show.
Feeling extra adventurous? Book yourself a room at a nearby hotel. Have your husband meet you at the bar and send him a drink with a note attached that reads, “I saw you on the subway this morning and I have to have you…meet me in room #…in ten minutes.”
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, empower yourself by doing something different. If you want a little creative step-by-step help you can grab a copy of my book Sexy and Sparkling After 40. In the second section, Passport to Passion, you’ll discover more than a dozen exciting Romance-Capades, themed adventures created for women who want to spice up their love lives and deepen intimacy with their partners.
I first presented Romance-Capades in product form at a romance party years ago. As the women crowded around the table, I could tell that, while intrigued, they were also a bit unsure about how to put these teasing trysts into action. Some of them were downright scared!
You might be feeling a bit insecure or unsure too – that is normal, know that you’re not alone.
But know this, your guy isn’t looking at what you consider to be imperfections. He’s admiring and appreciating you for being adventurous and playful. And he’s feeling hot and bothered knowing that there’s a big time “win” for him at the end of this sexy story.
But, if you think you might be so nervous you won’t be able to go through with it, try one of these tips:
- Ask one of your girlfriends to be on standby for a last-minute supportive phone call or text message.
- Give yourself a heartfelt pep talk.
- Get some exercise.
- Reminisce by going through photo albums and remembering all the happy times.
- Do a meditation/visualization just before he arrives.
- When all else fails breathe and open up to your feminine nature. Getting started is the hardest part. Once you’ve jumped in, you’ll be thrilled to see how much fun you can have creating the experience.
This Valentine’s Day, put your favorite Romance-Capade into action. Don’t wait for your man to make dinner reservations. Take the lead and you will feel enlivened, vibrant and empowered!
Last week we talked about setting yourself up for success in 2019 with 3 questions to gain clarity on your dream.
Did you answer them? Let’s assume you have. Ok then! You’ve got a dream, a goal, ambition and you’re ready to take the world by storm. Woo hoo!
And then, if you’re like everyone else, almost as soon as you decide to go for it, it seems like one thing after another comes up to side track and derail you! Soooooo very frustrating isn’t it???
Here’s the thing…anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. In addition to those outer roadblocks, your inner world starts to create some jam ups too. Why? Because as soon as you decide for a dream anything unlike it must come up to be released and re-patterned. So, how do you move past these derailments on the path to your oh so awesome dream?
The first step is to recognize that a roadblock is not a dead end.
When a challenge arises, it’s important to stay connected to your “why” and not to give up. Why do you want this particular thing? As long as you keep this in the forefront of your mind you can recenter, refocus and recommit.
After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?
Today I’m going to share the 3 most common obstacles people encounter on the way to their dream and how to recognize these culprits and move past them.
This way, when you encounter an obstacle you can say, “Nothing is stopping me – there is a power far greater than me – that is ALWAYS with me – that can help me handle any curveball that comes my way! I’m on course for my dream life!“
Viva la dream building!
Hallelujah it’s a brand new year lovelies! Fresh start. Big possibilities. Let’s dream!!
This month we’re going to be designing your most sparkling blueprint for the coming year – that means you’ll get a weekly article in the Sparkle community AND you’ll have the opportunity to listen to a call I’m hosting this week to help you soar into 2019!!!
So… do you have a clear vision yet for what you desire in 2019?
Could you describe it in detail right now or is it a bit fuzzy?
If you are like most people, you see bits and pieces of what you want to happen or you might be afraid to dream for fear of being disappointed, so it’s still a blank canvas.
Regardless, know that you can have the love-filled, FUN, joyful life you desire. All you have to do is get very specific about what you want and stay connected to that vision every day and voila you are making welcome the life you would love.
So, let’s get you crystal clear!!
Here are 3 key steps to clarity:
#1 – Ask yourself, “What do I really want? What would I love? What would my life look like if I were living as my most magnificent Self? What would life look like if I were living totally empowered?”
Would you have a deeply connected, loving and passionate relationship? How about letting that sensual, vibrant, healthy body come out to play? What about an exciting career that’s not only fulfilling but catapults you out of bed every morning with unbridled enthusiasm for the day? Is your bank account big and fat allowing you to travel to those bucket list places and have that magnificent Mediterranean home overlooking the ocean?
#2 – Give yourself permission to envision every area of your life as a 10 for a full spectrum SPARKLING life. What would that look like? The sky’s the limit! Think of every aspect of your life. Remember you can have it ALL – as far and wide and technicolor as your imagination can fathom.
#3 – Determine what you want, write it down (research shows you 10x manifestation by getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper :)). Write it in first person present tense to direct the energy to the present moment. That’s how we close the gap from where we are to where we want to be. Be as detailed as possible. The law of specificity is one of the 3 most important invisible laws of success. The more specific you are the easier it will be to bring forth your vision.
How do you feel right now? Thrilled? Expansive? Excited? Inspired? Hopeful? Doubtful? Take some deep relaxing breaths and let yourself percolate. Let it sink in that you have control over the course of your life.
If you have felt like a buoy in the ocean bobbing about at the mercy of the waves, you now know you can anchor yourself with a clear vision of your choice (if some parts of the vision are still fuzzy, no worries. Let it come together organically as you lean into it and TRUST it will all come together)
So give yourself permission to dream…BIG! This is going to be your BEST YEAR EVVVVER lovely!!!!
Wow, are we really in the “nth” hour of 2018? Can you believe it??
You may have had a really tough year and are looking forward to saying sayyyy-onnnn-ara!!!.That’s probably true for many people. On the other hand, there is no doubt you’ve had some real gem moments that may need to be mined from the last year.
Whether you’ve had high times or low times, there is some great wisdom to be had in all of it… if you know how to look for it.
Something I like to do at the end of the year is a “real”reflection because if you are anything like me, there is a tendency to focus on what didn’t get done. Right? Mama mia that can take you right down the rabbit hole!
So today I’m sharing this year end tradition with you; it’s perfect to do right now before you get caught up in all the New Year’s Eve glitz and blitz.
This tradition I started several years ago is not only easy and fun, it helps me see all the good things that happened; clear the chaos and clutter to GET the lesson, and sets me up for a spectacular and exciting New Year.
What I’m talking about involves 3 simple questions.
PS – I’m cooking up a call that will bring you magic in 2019!! Stay tuned and eyes peeled – it’s happening end of the month:))
In my last post, I wrote about how choosing to give – whether it’s a physical gift, or simply the gift of your smile, time or attention – can powerfully raise your vibration.
It can be tough to live in a “feel good state” during the holidays, when so many people are actually feeling sad, downtrodden, perhaps lonely or just uninspired. Are you challenged to feel happy with where you are at this time of year?
Today, I’d like to share an exercise with you that will certainly lift your spirits and help shift you into a “I welcome more love into my life” kinda space this holiday season.
Give Back to Others through Gratitude
It’s the end of the year. As 2018 winds down, we’re encouraged to reflect on the last 12 months and consider how our lives are different. Has your life changed in a positive way? Are you happy with where your life is at right now?
I also love to reflect on the people in my life: who has impacted me? Who has been generous and kind with me, and made a difference in my life?
Recently I remembered an assignment my mentor gave me last year that was powerful and impactful – to write a thank-you note to somebody who had touched my life. I took on the assignment whole-heartedly, and wrote a letter to an old friend who, back in 1999, said something that changed my life forever.
“Let’s start a business together, Sherri!” were her exact words.
And we did! That simple phrase, and the actions we took after, started me down a life-changing path that has not only taught me so much about myself, but brought me endless joy and fulfillment. I wrote her a thank-you note and mailed it to her. Then I forgot about it.
About a week later I received a phone call from her. She told me what a difference my note had made in HER life that day and how grateful she was to hear from me. What a wonderful gift she gave me in calling me, and we were able to reminisce and celebrate our appreciation of each other!
Since then I’ve written many thank you notes and always felt the same joy and warmth fill my heart. I invite you to give yourself and someone else the gift of gratitude thru a note, text, phone call, or face-to-face visit…it’s such an easy, powerful way to feel good you’ll love it!
Give Back Consciously
This memory of sending a thank you note jogs another memory to mind – years ago, one of my clients was very frustrated in her marriage. Her husband didn’t seem to be emotionally invested, she was frequently angry and disappointed and secretly wondered if the marriage was about to collapse.
Instead of filing for divorce, she decided to shift her thoughts and write a love letter. She wrote about how grateful she was for all the ways he had shown up in their marriage, and she gave him the letter.
What a world of difference! After reading the letter, his normal distant behavior became friendly and connected – it was like she had a new husband! They had one of the best nights of their lives: he totally opened up, they had a great dinner together, and finally their hearts were able to reconnect.
In my book, I emphasize that when you give from the heart without any underlying motivation, your diamond power will ignite and light you up from the inside- allowing others to see the True YOU. Giving from the heart is the best investment you can make. You will always feel expanded and blissful when you give generously, without an agenda, and you will always find the key to your sparkling radiance in the act of giving.
This week, I present a CHALLENGE to you – I invite you to give back with all your heart. Give just to give. Set aside any fears of exposing yourself or feeling vulnerable or getting rejected… trust the process, and find a way to give to someone you love.
Let me know how it goes in the comments below – choose love!!!!
PS – I’m cooking up a call that will bring you magic in 2019!! Stay tuned and eyes peeled – it’s happening end of the month:))