“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.”

~ Mother Theresa

Wow – powerful quote…and sometimes easier said than done, right?

Is there anyone you’re holding a grudge against and having difficulty letting it go?

I get it – I’ve been there. Several years ago my sister and I got into a massive fight just minutes before interviewing my lead expert for a summit I was hosting. She said some things that shook me to my core.

I was stunned and shocked thinking, “Are you kidding me? You know I’m about to do one of the most important interviews of my life and you’re choosing NOW to bring all this up?” I was trembling with anger, my mind was frazzled and I was so hurt…but as I put on my lipstick I told myself to push it aside and pull it together!

And with the grace of God I was able to in that moment.

But once my interview was over it all bubbled right back up even bigger than before – the whole horrible experience kept playing over and over again in my mind – I wasn’t able to push it aside. I told the rest of my family and all my friends every little detail of what had happened, playing my victim role to the hilt and spiraling down into a vortex of blame, judgment, and self-pity. Ugghh, not something I’m proud of today but at the time, I felt justified.

Ever happen to you? Ever fall into the rabbit hole of righteousness and claim the “I’ve been wronged” role with a vengeance?”

Although it’s easy to do, it sure doesn’t make you feel very good does it?

After a few weeks of sleepless nights, lack of focus and an upset stomach this situation was taking its toll on me. I clung to the belief my sister should apologize, but that apology never came. Sound familiar?

I was tired of feeling so ugly inside and knew I had a choice – I could stay stuck in my story and all twisted up inside OR I could empower myself to shift out of it by healing the hurt.

The idea of forgiveness started to surface but to be honest I didn’t want to forgive her, even though I wanted to feel better.

Have you ever been there? Eeeesh it’s no fun, is it?

Ever wonder why forgiveness is such a tough thing to do especially when we most likely know that forgiveness puts us on the road to more love and freedom.

Primarily, it’s because many of us equate forgiveness with allowing or letting someone off the hook for wrongdoing. We think that by forgiving someone, we’re saying that what they did was okay.

Forgiveness can look like we’re condoning the other person’s behavior along with the hurt and pain they’ve caused us. It’s easy to get fooled with the thought, “Hey if I forgive him/her for hurting me I’ll just be setting myself up for more of the same.

The truth is when you hold resentment toward another you are binding yourself to that person or condition with an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Your freedom rests on dissolving that link and the only way to do that is with forgiveness.

So, in actuality, when we are able to forgive, we release ourselves from the bondage of the anger, hurt, resentment and possibly deep-seated pain we carry inside. Those feelings can keep us stuck and unable to move forward in our lives. For instance, if a past relationship caused you tremendous pain, you may be unconsciously sabotaging potential new relationships because you’re emotionally unavailable as you try to protect yourself. By not being able to release and let go of what happened in the past, you keep yourself closed off from the love, joy and happiness you most desire.

How can you move on without believing you’re condoning what’s happened in the past? Well, first, when you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you have to continue to have a relationship with them. In fact, you never have to speak to them again-ever! It also doesn’t mean that when you say the words, “I forgive,” all is erased as if it never happened.

What is important to do, however, is to see the hurt you’ve experienced in a new light. It means connecting to and expanding that part of you that has never been hurt or harmed and can never be anything less than all-that-is. It means taking your past hurt to a new place…maybe even seeing the light AND the flaws in those that have “done you wrong,” with a measure of compassion for them.

I opened to this experience a few weeks into feeling so badly. It was Easter Sunday when I was sitting in church and asked God to lift this hurt from my heart and voila! I was instantly given a vision of my sister – she looked like an angel – and my journey of forgiveness began as I was reminded she is really a luminous light being. Within a few months I reached a place of peace and compassion.

Forgiveness gave me a new perspective that allowed me to see my part in this terrible tangle – and yes I did have an equal part in it. One of the biggest insights I had was that I could have chosen not to engage – that would have ended things before they got out of hand.

Although I don’t wish for anyone what I went through, I wish for everyone what I learned and gained from this experience.

The process of forgiveness is simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or quick. And it does not mean you ever allow this to happen to you again. To be able to truly move on, it can be extremely helpful to follow one of the processes I used to arrive at a place of forgiveness.

There are seven steps to follow to get there:

1. Look at the hurt you have not been able to forgive up to now.
2. Identify and allow yourself to feel your feelings about that hurt. Is there anger or resentment there? Is there fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, or some other feeling connected to your hurt?
3. Imagine how your life could be if you released this hurt and all the feelings related to it. Visualize the joy, excitement and happiness you will experience.
4. Now here’s the biggest step! Declare that you are ready to let the hurt go. Yes, make a declaration. “I, _____, am ready to release this hurt and the feelings I have experienced along with it!”
5. Do it! Release it! Let it go! Forgive the person, including yourself, for what you went through. You can do this quietly to yourself, with a trusted friend or coach or by expressing it directly to the individual you want to release.
6. Feel the freedom and exhilaration of all that is now possible in your life. Know that anything and everything is possible. Feel it. Believe it.
7. Go for it! Take the first steps into the love and freedom you now have to create new or renewed relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

The result of forgiveness is the ability to feel safe opening and receiving as well as feeling incredibly peaceful, out of which flows natural feelings of affection and love towards yourself and others. And from that new place of expansion come peace, abundance, balance and a GREAT life. So, go for the good life. You deserve it!

As far as me and my sister…we’ve rebuilt our relationship and it feels darn good!!!

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – If you are at a place where you want more freedom – where you know forgiveness, and letting go of resentments and hurts would move you forward into a happier life, take a look at Soul Sparkle Retreat

Last month we looked at the importance and life-changing principles of self-love and having more fun. This month we’ll take on another concept: forgiveness.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

-Lewis B. Smedes

The truth is that forgiveness goes hand-in-hand with self-love and having fun; you cannot truly forgive yourself and others if you don’t feel, deeply and truly, that you deserve the freedom that comes with forgiveness. And you are limited in the amount of fun you allow yourself to have when you are holding onto negative emotions.

Embrace Forgiveness and Release the Past

For many people, there’s a need to release the past and let go of things that have happened (or not happened) so they can have gratitude for what’s going on right now, in the present moment.

I understand it’s not always easy….Click here to discover how to release the past and feel FREE!

Sparkling Love,

Sherri

PS – If you are at a place where you want more freedom – where you know forgiveness, and letting go of resentments and hurts would move you forward into a happier life, take a look at Soul Sparkle Retreat

Did you know that happy women appear sexier to men? Smiling makes you more approachable and sends a positive signal that acts like a magnetic force for attracting other happy people.

Perhaps even more exciting, the happier you are, the more confident you are. When we’re cheerful we feel confident in ourselves and our abilities. Happiness is not a sporadically occurring phenomenon; it is the result of our responses – the more regularly we experience happiness as a response, the more confident we become in our ability to succeed and be happy.

This confidence is the most natural confidence that a woman can possess and one that is noticed by others. Once you are happy and confident that you can continue to make yourself happy, your comfort zone begins to expand – people will love that about you.

The biggest secret that happy women know is……that happiness needs to be taken on proactively. You can’t just wait for fun to happen. You must become responsible for creating your own playful, passionate, fulfilling life.

Being playful and having fun will also keep your stress at bay.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed out it’s nearly impossible to feel authentically happy? Stress is toxic and will steal your joy.

The human body doesn’t discriminate between a BIG stress or a little one. Regardless of the significance, stress affects the body in predictable ways. A typical stress reaction, which most of us experience dozens of times each day, begins with a cascade of 1,400 biochemical events in your body. If these reactions are left unchecked we age prematurely, our cognitive function is impaired, our energy is drained, and we are robbed of our sparkling joyous spirit.

It’s time to take the reins to reduce stress and enjoy happiness! One of the best ways to access your joy and eliminate stress is to schedule fun time on your calendar. Scheduling joyful experiences is just as vital as fitting in other important events.

Taking a proactive approach ensures that you’ll be having more fun more often. When you’re having fun, feeling happy, and accessing your passion; your life will unfold in the most marvelous ways. You’ll experience vital health, become sexier, more confident and experience less stress.

I can’t think of any better reason to make playtime a top priority!

If you’re looonging for more fun, time to play and laugh and frolic…I’ve got the perfect opportunity for you.

An extraordinary retreat where FUN is one of the main ingredients – check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat!

Are you ready to get happy and break free from stress?

This retreat will teach you the proven techniques to experience a rewarding life of passion, love, and fun.

Join a small intimate beautiful group of like-minded ladies who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – de-stress, reconnect to their happy place, and have FUN doing it!

There are only 2 spots left so if you know in your gut, this is for you – don’t put it on the back-burner. Remember, when Mama’s happy, everybody is happy!!

Grab your spot before it’s gone!

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – Check out what Bronzie had to say about last years Soul Sparkle Retreat and why she’s coming back this year…

One important thing I’ve learned about living a life of happiness that’s full of richness is that it requires one very special ingredient – FUN!

No matter what is going on in your life if you are able to laugh and play you can endure anything! When you are having fun the heavy veils lift, the sky’s open and fairy dust comes pouring down to brighten your heart and give you a fresh perspective.

This holiday weekend is the perfect time to add some fun into your life – there are so many festivities happening!

Are you in?

If you are like most women, you consistently have a lot on your plate – but before you say you don’t have time for fun consider the cost of pushing yourself to exhaustion:

• Crazy stress that affects your health
• Short tempered – maybe even yelling at your kids unnecessarily
• Feeling disconnected in your relationships
• Insomnia
• So tired you collapse at the end of the day only to get up the next day and do it all over again

Wouldn’t it be great to give your mind and body a break? To love yourself enough to say, “Hey, I deserve to enjoy my life and I know if I’m happy that’s going to flow out to my kids, partner, friends, co-workers and make everyone’s life happier!”

And that’s the key – it’s our connection to self and others that gives life it’s richness and adds meaning to our precious time on earth.

A simple and powerful way to start is with laughter!!!

Give yourself permission to unleash your playful feminine spirit! Start by getting in touch with your inner child – what did you like to do when you were young? As we grow older we often get way too serious. There is no room for frivolity if you are structured and serious.

If you are having trouble recalling what brought you happiness as a child, take a few minutes to sit down and reminisce about what you loved to do if you had even 10 extra minutes as a kid. Did you dance, draw, read, sing, bake? Chances are whatever you liked doing then you will still enjoy today.

Another fabulous benefit from laughing is that it opens the mind and heart, oxygenates your cells and gives you a fantastic glow, not only making you feel light and young, you will look years younger too!

Making fun and pleasure a priority is definitely essential to your happily ever after, so embrace your passionate, playful side and you will free yourself to live, laugh and love fully self-expressed. In addition, bringing play into your relationship adds fun adventure, lightens any mood and opens the heart creating a nice bonding experience.

Plus, it will get your man to open up and talk more. If you are frustrated by your man’s lack of chit-chat get him relaxed and playful – believe me, he’ll start yappin’ up a storm.

Reconnect with the real YOU – the you that glows with Divine Love – from this place you shine your Diamond Power. When you find your playful, confident, feminine spirit you can turn a lonely, dull life into full on fireworks!

xo,

Sherri

PS – A wonderful way to have more fun is to get out of town – if you are loooonging for a few days JUST FOR YOU- To play and laugh and frolic, check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate beautiful group of like-minded ladies who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.

Last week if you are a mom, you probably experienced well deserved appreciation from your kids. Hopefully you felt that warm gooey happy feeling in your heart that makes you smile and glow. But what if you didn’t receive that recognition from your kids or what if you don’t have kids to acknowledge and love you?

Everyone deserves to live a life filled with love and loving connections.

So how can we intentionally create and experience more love? Although many of us look for love on the outside, the path to love really begins inside. This Rumi quote describes it perfectly:

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi

Too often, the lack of deep love in our lives comes from a lack of self-love and self-compassion. Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves feeling guilty for every little thing. And then the monkey mind starts to chatter : “I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy.” “I’m not interesting enough.” “I’m too old.” “What’s wrong with me?”

And of course, the goalposts for what counts as “good enough” seem always to remain out of reach. No matter how well we do, it never seems to be “enough”! The result of this line of thinking is sobering: Millions of people suffer from insecurity, anxiety, and depression, and much of this is due to self-judgment, to beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t measuring up.

So what’s the answer?

Here are 4 empowering ways you can create more love in your life and the great news? You can step into them starting NOW!

Click here to start now!

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – A wonderful way to nurture and care for yourself is to get out of town – if you are loooonging for a few days JUST FOR YOU- where you will be loved and cared for, check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate beautiful group of like-minded ladies who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.

Do you long for soulful love? That deep, joyful, expansive feeling that fills you up? If you are like most women you are shaking your head with an emphatic YES! Perhaps also feeling frustrated because it has escaped your grasp. Even though you are successful, smart, in a relationship and have lots of friends you feel like something is missing.

If this is you, you’re not alone. I’ve spoken to thousands of women over the past decade who feel exactly the same way and I have to admit I used to feel the same way until I discovered the truth about love. Most of us look to our partner or the relationship we have with our kids, siblings, friends or parents to satisfy our need for love. Yes we can receive love in all of these situations, however, they can also be roller coaster experiences of love – bringing disappointment and not providing the consistency we crave.

So what’s the secret?

It’s actually super simple and thrilling. There is one source of authentic, unconditional Love and it’s there 24/7 for everyone to dip into, to try on, to bask in, to explore deeply. To love is inherent in our nature. The problem is we get so busy, so involved in our own lives, so self focused on what we have on our never, never, never ending to do list that we spiral out of control in the opposite direction of love – we spiral into anxiety, stress and disconnection.

All you have to do is let go of all the details you crowd your mind with and stress yourself out over. At the end of the day is the minutia  bringing you closer or further away from the joy-filled life you crave? On top of all the details there’s the fears and anxiety you have about not completing all the details. Jeez Louise what a whirling dervish scenario spinning you like a top and getting nowhere but stressed and frustrated. There is a way out that will bring peace and joy! Hallelujah!!

The solution and why it’s important for you! Click here….

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – If you long for more soulful love and want to take some dedicated time, just for you, to learn how to do this consistently check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat!

Have you ever had the thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why did _____________(he have an affair, leave the relationship, stop wanting me OR stop wanting to spend time with me, stop paying attention to me, stop talking to me,… fill in the blank with whatever it is for you).

We’ve all had experiences and situations in our lives that have in effect, forced us to build protective barriers to guard our hearts. When built, they may have served in protection, but the trick is to know when to allow your walls to collapse and let the old stories go. Once this happens, love pours in.

And the truth is everyone deserves to live a life filled with love and loving connections. So how can we intentionally create and experience more love? Learn how here….

Sparkling love,

Sherri

PS – If you would like to develop more Self-Love a truly transformational experience is waiting for you at Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate group of like-minded women who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.