Are you like most women, forgetting to take care of you when life is coming at you like a tsunami? It’s easy to live in your head and disconnect from the core essence of YOU when one thing after another is coming at you. When that’s happening do you know how to fill yourself up with your most loving, sensual, playful self?
It’s ok, you can admit it, not many women do. Honestly most women aren’t schooled or mentored in how to do this – we are taught how to make other people happy, how to make money, how to sacrifice our needs and made to feel selfish if we want a more pleasurable life.
In truth you don’t have to change who you are to have what you want. Simply embrace these 7 tips to fill up with your God-given feminine, sensual self. When you make a commitment to show up fully in this charismatic essence you will experience a much more love-filled, happy life!
1) Passion – the most attractive woman is the woman who loves life and feels desirable. Men see this in your eyes ladies – that you “have it”. When you make yourself the priority and then the man you gain his interest and respect. As soon as you value the man more you lose your appeal because you are not honoring and respecting yourself first. So discover what you are passionate about and make a bliss list of at least five things. Make sure at least three of the things are not dependent on others for your “feel good” and then do one of these things daily to fill you up with passion.
2) Touch – becoming intimate with you is paramount to creating intimacy with others. So get started by experiencing your senses. Take some “me” time in a private environment (like your bedroom), light a candle, put on some music and lay down completely naked. Close your eyes and slowly touch every inch of your lovely body in a very sacred manner. As you run your hands over your legs, belly, breasts and arms notice the feel of your skin, the inner sensations, and the pleasure your body feels in being touched so lovingly. Appreciating your body in a non-sexual manner will help you get to know you and your sensual self.
3) Fun – connect with your other personas and let your inner vixen out! There are so many leading ladies waiting backstage to come out and play and bedazzle and yet we let the same ole’ gal take center stage day in and day out. Mix it up! Recast your movie! Take up belly dancing, pole dancing or whatever would make you just a wee bit uncomfortable and do it for YOU. Then bring her into the boudoir and create a fun romantic adventure. Your partner will be saying, “Wow who was that last night? Let’s invite her back!”
4) Flirt – flirt for the sheer pleasure of it, not to be coy or seductive but simply to have fun with all the elements of life. Feel the wind on your cheeks, coo at a baby, swish your favorite drink or morsel around letting your taste buds enliven, open up to situations you normally are closed off to, stand at the edge of the surf with your arms extended to the heavens, smile or say hello to a stranger and feel how expansive you become!
5) Moxie – become the most magnificent version of YOU- no more playing small and hiding out. One of my clients, Carol, was tired of the “room mate” relationship her marriage had become and decided to step into what she wanted. While taking one of my playful programs she tried out a few of the sensual poses she had learned. She didn’t let it bother her that she wasn’t getting the attention she wanted initially – instead she continued for her own pleasure and it was then that her husband locked eyes with her and they had the most passionate night in years. No coincidence that when she was confidently dwelling in the sweet spot of her magnificence she became irresistible!
6) Dance – again a private affair! You can do this one of two ways – either stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself or close your eyes and let the energy of the music come up through you, having its way with you. Do you trust yourself? Do you feel safe letting go of control? Give yourself permission to let go and let this energy fill you with sensual bliss within. Notice how you feel full and your edges start to disappear. A combination of the two is optimal, seeing the look in your eyes after you’ve allowed this energy to flow within is powerful.
7) Let go – this can be terrifying for sure but keeping the package all nice and neat and looking good is exhausting! Keeping everything together is also about being in control and that’s engaging your masculine. It’s very hard to be in your sensual feminine essence when you are fighting to keep your masculine present. Granted there is real authentic fear about letting go but understand that being in control is really an illusion. Be willing to see it another way. Feel the fear, listen in, and work through it rather than let it paralyze you. In other words surrender…God/Source/The Divine will be there to catch you and always get you through!
These tips are not a singular quick fix – they are a practice, a way of life. Make the commitment to make this way of living a lifestyle and you will find yourself feeling full up with your feminine, sensual self – engaging everyone in your wake.
PS – If you would like help filling up with your soulful sensual Self check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate group of like-minded women who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
Have you ever had the thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why did _____________(he have an affair, leave the relationship, stop wanting me OR stop wanting to spend time with me, stop paying attention to me, stop talking to me,… fill in the blank with whatever it is for you).
We’ve all had experiences and situations in our lives that have in effect, forced us to build protective barriers to guard our hearts. When built, they may have served in protection, but the trick is to know when to allow your walls to collapse and let the old stories go. Once this happens, love pours in.
And the truth is everyone deserves to live a life filled with love and loving connections. So how can we intentionally create and experience more love? Learn how here….
PS – If you would like to develop more Self-Love a truly transformational experience is waiting for you at Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate group of like-minded women who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
April is a month that always symbolizes sparkling renewal for me; a time when fresh ideas, actions and perspectives bloom endlessly. In other words, it’s the perfect time to envision your juiciest desires springing into life!!!
And yet there’s no getting around it: starting in our 40’s and for sure in our 50’s we begin to notice that we don’t feel as vibrantly alive and juicy as we used to. Let’s face it, when our hormones say sayonara lots of things start to change including our libido, sexual pleasure and body shape.
I remember thinking all I had to do was eat right and exercise consistently and my body would remain the same –WOW was I wrong! Ay yi yi after going through an early menopause, things not only shifted, they dropped, pouched, and spread seemingly overnight— it was either laugh or cry!
Beyond the body shifting what’s with the thinning brows and lashes? Even more alarming is the newfound thickets of nose hair and facial fur – shocking!!! If you let it, maintenance on this alone could be a full time job LOL!
Whether or not you are battling with a loss of hormones yet, there’s no escaping aging and its impact on our confidence and love life.
Fortunately there is a solution!
What I’ve learned and want to share is that no matter what is going on with you, your body and your libido, this is a time in your life when it’s important to accept and love yourself, honoring your body as the goddess temple it is, regardless!
This means spring-cleaning your thoughts of judgment and criticism – literally opening up the windows and tossing them out.
Letting thoughts and actions of adoration and appreciation replace them instead.
Here are a few tips to bring back your vibrancy:
- Look at your reflection in the mirror and really get that you are a creation of perfection. You are beautiful! Gaze in your eyes and say, “I love you” over and over again until you FEEL this Truth.
- Make a list of at least five things you like about your body and carry that list with you. Have it on hand so you can quickly pull it out whenever you need to remind yourself how incredible you are. Remember, focus only on your fabulousness!
- Every day before you get up in the morning Circle your hips and breathe deeply into your pelvic heart center to WAKE UP your sensual Self. This connects you with your feminine essence
- Notice your thoughts and words. Keep a journal identifying the most common thoughts you have and make a conscious decision to turn around negative thoughts and choose more empowering thoughts
- Dance to music you find rhythmic and sexy
All of these actions require an awareness of your self-talk and inner thoughts.
Why is this important for you?
Because the words we say to ourselves carry an energetic vibration that creates our feelings about ourself and our behaviors and ultimately our results in life – very powerful!
Have you heard of Dr Masaru Emoto?
His studies show that the way we speak to ourselves carries its own energetic weight. For instance, in one of his experiments conducted with words and music there were two glasses of water, drawn from an identical water source.
On each glass were written words. One glass had positive messages written on it like love, joy, beautiful. The other had negative messages like hate, sad, ugly. The water was left to sit in the glasses for a while then the water was looked at under a microscope.
What they discovered is astounding!!
The molecules of water that were in the glass with the positive words scrawled on it looked like snowflakes, they were beautiful, and reflected light like prisms. BEAUTIFUL.
On the other hand, the water molecules that were left to sit in the glass with the negative messages written on it, when they were examined were shockingly black and yellow and looked horrible!
Our body is over 70% water – so our thoughts are impacting our overall health and well-being greatly.
So ladies, although aging brings changes and is not always fun, we can empower ourselves with positive solutions, like the ones outlined above, to stay vibrant, juicy and ALIVE!
To your radiance!
I have a super exciting announcement to make but first let me ask you this…
Did you know that happy women appear sexier to men? Smiling makes you more approachable and sends a positive signal that acts like a magnetic force for attracting other happy people.
Perhaps even more exciting, the happier you are, the more confident you are. When we’re cheerful we feel confident in ourselves and our abilities. Happiness is not a sporadically occurring phenomenon; it is the result of our responses – the more regularly we experience happiness as a response, the more confident we become in our ability to succeed and be happy.
This confidence is the most natural confidence that a woman can possess and one that is noticed by others. Once you are happy and confident that you can continue to make yourself happy, your comfort zone begins to expand – people will love that about you.
The biggest secret that happy women know is that happiness needs to be taken on proactively. You can’t just wait for fun to happen. You must become responsible for creating your own playful, passionate, fulfilling life.
Being playful and having fun will also keep your stress at bay.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed out it’s nearly impossible to feel authentically happy? Stress is toxic and will steal your joy.
The human body doesn’t discriminate between a BIG stress or a little one. Regardless of the significance, stress affects the body in predictable ways. A typical stress reaction, which most of us experience dozens of times each day, begins with a cascade of 1,400 biochemical events in your body. If these reactions are left unchecked we age prematurely, our cognitive function is impaired, our energy is drained, and we are robbed of our sparkling joyous spirit.
It’s time to take the reins to reduce stress and enjoy happiness! One of the best ways to access your joy and eliminate stress is to schedule fun time on your calendar. Scheduling joyful experiences is just as vital as fitting in other important events.
Taking a proactive approach ensures that you’ll be having more fun more often. When you’re having fun, feeling happy, and accessing your passion; your life will unfold in the most marvelous ways. You’ll experience vital health, become sexier, more confident and experience less stress.
I can’t think of any better reason to make playtime a top priority!
Now back to my exciting announcement…If you’re ready for more fun, I’ve got some awesome news for you!! Here it is….
Soul Sparkle Retreat (3rd annual) is happening this summer!!! Yay!!! This is an intimate gathering of AMAZING women dedicated to their growth, joy and happiness.
Every year I choose a different spot that I feel matches the retreats theme and desired outcome and this location is truly deeee-licious – right on the beach! I’m very proud and thrilled to be hosing our 2019 retreat at such a beautiful resort.
This is an extraordinary event that will teach you how to have more FUN, be more playful, clear through blocks and discover authentic happiness in every aspect of your life.
If you feel like there’s a gap between your dream life (where you’re deeply loved, happy and fulfilled) and your current reality, this sassy, soulful sanctuary is the bridge!
There are only a handful of spots left so check in with your heart…and if this is speaking to you, schedule a time to chat with me by clicking here NOW!
Last week we dipped our big toe into the idea of creating more balance when our life is bobbing about from emotional and physical circumstances. We talked about finding stability amidst the underlying wobbles of life. You were given a 5-step formula not only to keep you afloat, but for flowing intentionally – so you can consistently make progress towards your desires and dreams. How are you doing with that?
This week would you be willing to go a little deeper lovely? I’m not talkin’ full plunge, just shimmying in up to your waist line… It will be worth your while!
Ok let’s do it! I’ve been having some powerful conversations with my Sparkle Sister Circle about the key to building more of a grounded foundation – based on ONE thing only and I want you to be privy to it.
Basically we’ve been talking about what Gay Hendricks calls ‘Upper Limits’. This implies each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, happiness, money, confidence, good health etc. we allow ourselves to have. This applies to every aspect of your life. When we surpass the setting we often do something to sabotage ourselves and bring us back down to the old level where we feel secure. Now, we may not like this level, but there is something about it that makes us feel safe.
A la all the turbulent waters we discussed last week that we are wading and wobbling in. The truth is there is a gorgeous bright Life beckoning us all the time (pic above) but most of us stop ourselves from expanding into this Light with these upper limits, sinking back down into the dark familiar clouds in our minds.
Wouldn’t it be awesome to create more solid state and breakthrough our upper limits? “Sassy!”, said one of my Sparkle Sisters to that idea. I hope you are thinking the same because it truly can change your life!
What I’m about to share is nothing new – however, I invite you to read it with a reflective, beginners mind. We really do ourselves a disservice when we breeze past things with a dismissive, “I know that”, because the truth is if your life does not reflect what you desire you don’t know it. You may know it intellectually but not on a cellular level. In other words you may “know” it in your head but your body didn’t get the memo. And that’s a HUGE difference.
So you’re probably saying, “Come on already Sherri, what is this ONE thing?” I get it – I always want to get right to the point myself – so here it is… SELF-LOVE.
Pure and simple a solid foundation of self-love will allow you to push thru any upper limit.
In all my years of coaching what I have found over and over and over again is that brilliant, competent, capable, creative, beautiful women are not getting what they desire because deep down (in those troubled waters) they don’t believe they deserve it – whatever “it” is for them…love, happiness, prosperity, vibrant health etc.
I am here to tell you that’s baloney!!! You deserve to lasso the moon! And if you don’t believe it, believe in my belief.
The Bible says:
I was created in God’s own image (Genesis 1:27)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
You can’t be more deserving and valuable than this for heaven’s sake!
The problem is over the years we’ve taken in soooo many negative situations/emotions/ experiences and we’ve sat on them, buried them and wallowed in them – not allowing things to flow thru. We end up like the Dead Sea – stagnant and stuck.
7 Tips to develop more self-love:
- Think about what is upetting you, identify the emotion associated with it, notice where it is in your body – put a hand on that area and sit with it, allowing it to flow until the emotion has dissipated (usually about 90 seconds to 2 minutes). Painful at first, but quickly free’ing!
- Write loving words on your body before you bathe. As you wipe them away imagine the essence of the word soaking into your body.
- Write yourself a love letter – and GUSH
- Make a list of what’s great about YOU and add to it every night before you go to bed.
- Do something that brings you joy daily.
- Stare at a color you love – this will automatically shift your energy and increase your love vibration
- Listen to Christian music (i.e. – I Can Only Imagine) or any song that brings you happiness.
As you engage in these activities you create more loving space for yourself (and others) in your body which will build a bigger foundation of self love and allow you to soar to new heights allowing for a bigger richer life!
Choose one of these actions today and let me know the result 🙂 The love you desire is within – it’s REAL and it’s there for you 24/7! Dive in lovely – you can do this!!!
PS I’ve got a BIG announcement!!! Want to be the “first” to know about what’s coming this summer? Does the idea of releasing the past, renewing your energy and letting your Sparkle shine sound good? Then CLICK HERE for more information!
Last week in the community call I shared how I had just returned from a phenomenal pilgrimage to Israel – truly transformational!
One of the adventures I talked about on that call, and would like to dive deeper into today, was my experience at the Dead Sea.
It began as our bus of 59 pilgrims rounded the bend and caught our first glimpse of the water – stunningly still and shimmering under the brilliance of the sun. As we pulled into Herods Dead Sea Spa, we couldn’t get out quick enough to suit up and frolick in that salty sea.
And boy did we!!
Some dashed right in, others slowly, but no matter how we entered, we all seemed to bob around precariously (trying to avoid salt in the eye – warned that would be no bueno!) until we let ourselves float.
And the real fun began as we attempted playful floating poses (a la me in pic above). The operative word being “attempted” – ay yi yi!!! It was soon discovered any movement in this wiggly water caused instant instability. And that’s when a lesson dropped in.
If you found February to be less romantic than expected you are not alone. Many women confided they felt disappointed and disconnected (especially those in relationships). So today I want to share with you the key to a love life full of passion and soul-to-soul connection. It’s powerful. It’s sacred. It opens the gateway to intimacy.
Wanna know what it is…?
It’s actually quite simple…
TOUCH….absolutely key to feeling connected. It engages the senses God gave us for our emotional and physical well-being and pleasure, and is a powerful way to express what we cannot say. Yet still, we are a touch-starved society.
Don’t get me wrong; women love to hear the words, “I love you”, but touching launches relationships into intimacy by directly accessing the emotional self. Words are processed in the thinking part of the brain, while touch is processed by the emotional centers.
Endorphins, released by touching your lover or your own beautiful body, flow through the body creating a sense of caring and pleasure while calming daily stress.
A worldwide study done in the 1960s monitored the number of touches couples shared at coffeehouses around the world. The results reveal the drastic cultural differences we apply to skin-on-skin contact. Puerto Ricans got the prize-touching 180 times an hour, while Americans adhered to a strict diet touching only twice within an hour.
Thus began some serious research on the importance of touch, leading to the discovery that the amount of skin-to-skin contact in our lives plays a crucial role in our happiness and vitality. The act of touching influences our ability to form close relationships with other people, to deal with stress and pain, and even to fight off disease. The hunger for touch may manifest as depression, anxiety, irritability, boredom, pain, moodiness as well as make you feel isolated, separate and lonely.
So many women complain that their relationships lack intimacy-much of it arguably because of our touch barriers. We are born with an intense hunger for contact. The emotional development of babies depends on tons of touching and as adults we have a strong need to be held in someone’s arms, to hold hands, to be cuddled and caressed. Yet, most people don’t touch as often as they would like-afraid of being rejected as being needy or vulnerable, they cover their need for intimacy with work, activities, TV, food, drugs and alcohol.
If you want intimacy, it’s time to break the touch barriers! And the first step to developing a successful, intimate relationship with your partner is to first build intimacy with yourself. Exploring every inch of your body will help you get to know what you like and what makes you feel good. Once you’ve got this down, you can reach out to your partner with confidence to create the closeness you crave.
With all these fantastic reasons to bring touch into relationships let’s take a look at 7 ways you can incorporate touch into your life.
- Kissing: A 20-second kiss will raise his testosterone levels and make you feel closer.
- Moisturize head-to-toe: Applying lotion to your body guarantees that all of your skin will be touched and rubbed. For an added calming effect, use an aromatherapy lotion scented with lavender.
- Yoga: This popular fitness trend offers many of the benefits of touch because the poses involve rubbing limb against limb. Some Iyengar yoga classes also include a partnered practice-a great way to get your RDA of touching.
- Hugging: Full-body hugging increases closeness, connection and safety.
- Massage: The shoulders, hands and feet create an emotional release when touched. New York-based sex therapist Mildred Witkin suggests couples should practice touching in a way that is not explicitly sexual to keep intimacy and playfulness alive.
- Two to Tango: Dance classes are a great way to meet new people, and have your hand and waist held all evening long. Contact your local YMCA or dance studio for schedules.
- Back Rubs: Studies show that a daily back rub drastically reduces anxiety and creates positive changes in attitude.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, take the time to nurture yourself or your partner with some loving touch – it’s your gateway to intimacy, providing a powerful, solid message of care, support, acknowledgment and love.
As we are in the month of love there is a promise, a hope a thought… this year is gonna be different. I’ve spoken to so many of you in the Sparkle Community ( many of you in relationships) who’ve said, “This is MY year to experience that deeply connected love I desire -it’s time and I deserve it!”
Yes you do!!! You ABSOLUTELY deserve to experience great love and the time has never been better than now – so stand up, draw an invisible line, step over it and claim it victoriously! Do it now!
Whether you’re looking or in a committed relationship it’s time to take bold action moving you towards your dream. If you are single I always say there’s a lid for every pot and if you have a lid, well you may just crave a better fit. Regardless, make a decision for your dream by implementing what I’m about to share with you today.
Hmmmm…are you beginning to notice any anxiety rising up? Twitching. Starting to sweat. Are you hearing yourself blurt out, “Not so fast!. As much as I want that, it’s a little bit scary. I don’t know if I can trust again…I’m not sure I’m ready to open my heart again…but dang I really want it! Ay yi yi what a conundrum!
If that speaks to you in any way, and you’re ready to let your desires zoom past your fears you’ll want to learn the 3-step process shared in the video below.
That’s why I’m writing to you today. Because all those doubts can disappear… forever.
Click the video below to learn more!
It’s my easy-to-implement “3 STEPS to make it safe to love again” video. I created it especially for you, because I’ve been where you are.
And I know that deep down you are longing to experience a love like no other.
By the time we’re done, you will have a key tool to succeed.
To set you free and help you feel safe to love again.
And steer you in the direction of the love you’ve missed out on all your life.
Now is your time! Leave behind the doubt, fear and paralysis that’s kept you hiding. A romantic adventurous and fulfilling love life is waiting for you!
Valentines greetings from Israel!
While I’m on a spiritual pilgrimage to deepen my own journey of expansion, growth, self love and connection with God, you’ve been on my mind:)
February 14th, as you know, is the most exalted love day of the month.
How are you doing?
If you are already in a wonderful relationship I’m wishing you a beautiful celebration:)) But if you’re not and you find yourself longing to be in a deeply loving and connected partnership you are in great company. In my experience as a coach, I’ve learned that the majority of women share this common desire.
We are all on this planet to love and be loved.
And we’ve all been there on Valentine’s Day. The one day of the year that makes being alone feel even harder. Every shop window is full of hearts and red roses. Restaurants are advertising their special Valentine’s Day menus. If you were in a relationship last year and this year you’re not, the day can become a difficult reminder of what’s missing from your life.
But it doesn’t have to be this way! Click here to discover how you can make this Valentine’s day one of your best EVER!
Let’s face it: most long-term couples find themselves in a romantic rut at one point or another. Between your kids’ busy schedules, your demanding jobs, and that never-ending and totally unsexy daily task list, it’s hard enough just to sit down and have a conversation, let alone make time for romance.
For some women, the problem is bigger than a lack of fun in the bedroom. They wish for a deeper sense of emotional intimacy and connection with their husbands. They think back to the early days of their courtship, to their lost sense of play and spontaneity and wonder if it’s possible to ever get that back.
I’ve got good news for you. It is absolutely possible to rekindle your sense of passion for each other!
All it takes is a willingness to try something new and spice things up! Are you game? Why not try a Romance-Capade? So what’s that you might ask? It’s a themed rendezvous meant to bring connection, fun and intimacy into your relationship.
You can follow any of the 15 presented in my book OR let your imagination go wild and create your own. With a little prep work and a spirit of fun, you’ll have a great time planning your sexy escapade.
One of my clients decided to do the Moroccan themed Romance-Capade for her husband’s birthday. Believe me when I tell you that she’d never imagined herself belly-dancing after 40 years of marriage!
She ended up having so much fun buying props and planning the evening. He loved it and she felt invigorated and empowered by the whole experience.
Here’s the deal: that guy you fell in love with, the one who gave you butterflies simply by looking in your direction, he’s still in there! And he wants to come out and play just as much as you do!
Like my client, mix things up with a little moxy and create a romantic evening that brings you and your partner back to those heady days of dating. Make his favorite dinner and eat it by candlelight. Create a playlist of songs from that time in your life and you’ll be sure to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Here are some idea’s to get you started….
Fill your bathroom with candles and draw a luxurious bath for the two of you. Or bring the balmy, romantic nights of Hawaii to your home with a sexy hula show.
Feeling extra adventurous? Book yourself a room at a nearby hotel. Have your husband meet you at the bar and send him a drink with a note attached that reads, “I saw you on the subway this morning and I have to have you…meet me in room #…in ten minutes.”
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, empower yourself by doing something different. If you want a little creative step-by-step help you can grab a copy of my book Sexy and Sparkling After 40. In the second section, Passport to Passion, you’ll discover more than a dozen exciting Romance-Capades, themed adventures created for women who want to spice up their love lives and deepen intimacy with their partners.
I first presented Romance-Capades in product form at a romance party years ago. As the women crowded around the table, I could tell that, while intrigued, they were also a bit unsure about how to put these teasing trysts into action. Some of them were downright scared!
You might be feeling a bit insecure or unsure too – that is normal, know that you’re not alone.
But know this, your guy isn’t looking at what you consider to be imperfections. He’s admiring and appreciating you for being adventurous and playful. And he’s feeling hot and bothered knowing that there’s a big time “win” for him at the end of this sexy story.
But, if you think you might be so nervous you won’t be able to go through with it, try one of these tips:
- Ask one of your girlfriends to be on standby for a last-minute supportive phone call or text message.
- Give yourself a heartfelt pep talk.
- Get some exercise.
- Reminisce by going through photo albums and remembering all the happy times.
- Do a meditation/visualization just before he arrives.
- When all else fails breathe and open up to your feminine nature. Getting started is the hardest part. Once you’ve jumped in, you’ll be thrilled to see how much fun you can have creating the experience.
This Valentine’s Day, put your favorite Romance-Capade into action. Don’t wait for your man to make dinner reservations. Take the lead and you will feel enlivened, vibrant and empowered!