When we are experiencing trouble in our relationship, it can feel like our world is crumbling along with our relationship. Our relationship issues take a front-row spot in the presence of our minds, consuming our thoughts and causing anxiety, stress, sadness, anger, and a host of unpleasant emotions.
If you are experiencing this, I feel you, I have been there myself, and I would love nothing more than to help you move through this difficult time.
So, I want to share three tips to help you find balance and peace so you can keep moving forward.
1. First, acknowledge that everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Every event in history, good or bad, has followed this sequence. While you are in the middle of your relationship crisis, it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you that it does exist. Just as with everything else, your crisis will come to an end; you will not be stuck here forever.
2. Second, ask yourself, “Who do I want to be in the midst of this story?” In the future, when you reflect on how you showed up in the middle, what would you like to see? How will you have to show up right now to make your future self proud?
3. Last but not least, know that adversity helps us grow and blossom into a better and stronger version of ourselves. Adversity is an inescapable fact of life. Even a tree must endure the constant battles of the wind. But each seed of adversity has its silver lining. As the tree battles with the wind, its roots grow stronger and deeper below the surface, enabling the tree to support itself as it grows taller and taller. Without the adversity of the wind, the tree would eventually grow too tall for its shallow roots and would topple over. With every adversity that you face, there is a benefit. Start getting curious about the good that will come out of the challenges you face? Trust God and lean into His greater plan.
I believe in you. Not only can you make it through this, but you will arrive on the other side as a grander and more magnificent YOU.
Would you love to feel more loved in your relationship?
Do you spend your days feeling disconnected and empty reminiscing about the deep and happy connection you once had together?
Then you might be able to relate to my client, Sally.
Sally was in a challenging relationship with her husband. It seemed as though all the love they once shared was just a figment of the past. Her husband slept in another room and would barely even look at her. I encouraged Sally to switch her focus from the love she wanted to receive to the love she could give. So she began finding ways to show her love by doing small, kind things for her husband, such as making his lunch in the morning and including his favorite snacks. To her delight, his attitude toward her changed dramatically. He began looking her in the eyes and showing his genuine appreciation for her. They experienced more of a connection with that small act of caring than they had in months.
How can you adapt this strategy to transform your relationship?
When we are faced with difficulties in our relationships, it is so easy and common to focus on what our partner is doing or not doing. I have to admit when I was married I fell into that trap but it is a dead-end – you can never control someone else – your point of power is within.
Einstein said you can never solve a problem at the conscious level it was created -you have to rise above it.
So are you up for an experiment? What if you chose to focus on what you can control: your own actions. If you want more love in your relationship, then GIVE more love.
Stop waiting for him to go first and be the bigger person, just like Sally.
Express your love more often, and watch your relationship transform and grow into one that is healthier, happier, and more loving for both of you.
Is there a relationship in your life that has you feeling let down or unhappy? Does someone’s beliefs, behaviors, or patterns of interaction leave you broken-hearted?
Relationships can be tough. At one point or another, we’ve all experienced tense situations that trigger us. We can either react out of anger/hurt/fear or respond with love in these difficult times. Reacting often leads to more hurt without ever addressing the root of the problem. When you respond with love, you work towards healing.
I’m not saying it’s always easy but what I’m about to share IS easy and kinda miraculous.
I have a 4-word magic tool to give you that personally helped me transform one of the most important relationships in my life – it will help you too! It has the ability to shift you out of the habits that are hurting you and embrace a loving perspective.
Before reacting or responding, ask yourself:
When you ask yourself this question, you:
💖 Gain a whole new perspective
💖 Show up in a more loving way.
💖 You get better outcomes and create happier situations.
These four words can help you to improve your relationships with your partner, family, friends, parents, children, coworkers, and even yourself!