Give yourself some TLC with these 7 solid tips!
With Mother’s Day today, we are reminded to honor our own mothers and all the women in our lives who are mothers. But, what about you? Whether you are a mother or not, do you honor, nurture and nourish yourself? In other words, are you a good mom to you?
Many of us set aside our own needs and desires in order to help someone else. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to care for someone, especially a sick friend or aging parent. At other times, we may be called upon to support a colleague who is going through emotional upheaval.
Let’s face it, we all offer ourselves and nurture others at one time or another. Some of us do it continually, taking care of other people in our lives, being present for them and serving them on a daily basis.
Although it is beautiful to give our time, energy, love and attention to others – especially at those times when it is absolutely essential that we do so – there is a danger of forgetting about ourselves and our needs to be nurtured. This creates an imbalance in our own lives, causing us to lose our sparkle and self in the process.
And, let’s get honest, it can be exhausting, right? No matter how much you love others and are happy to give, you need a break! Otherwise you start breaking down…
How does it look when we become off-balanced, when we aren’t tending to our own needs? How does it feel when we haven’t focused on self-renewal or taken steps to revitalize and replenish ourselves? Well, imagine that you are a big, luscious crystal pitcher filled with lemonade.
Surrounding you is a circle of glasses that want to be filled up. These glasses represent the people in your life – your mate, your kids, your boss, siblings, parents, friends, colleagues, etc. As you focus on filling up everyone’s glasses – filling and refilling them because everyone continues to want more – what happens?
Eventually, the pitcher gets emptied. There’s no more lemonade to pour into the glasses. The pitcher is depleted. Everyone around you still wants more of your wonderful, yummy lemonade, but if the pitcher is not being refilled and replenished, eventually there is nothing more for you to give. That’s what happens when you do not take the time for self-renewal.
Like the pitcher, you eventually have nothing left to offer. You’ve squeezed yourself dry. Yet, you continue to try to give. However, now what you are able to “serve up” becomes flat – it doesn’t taste sweet anymore. Even though you know you are running on empty you push yourself to pour your pitcher anyway. And those who you serve are aware – often unconsciously – that what you’re providing isn’t as good as it once was. Maybe what you now offer is laced with bitterness, resentment, frustration and even anger.
So, what can you do to refill your pitcher – to renew yourself? First, it’s vital that you understand a key concept: the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself! If that relationship is not rock solid, and full of love for yourself, you can lose your way-even lose your sense of Self-and feel isolated, separate and disconnected from everyone and everything.
Alternatively, the more you nurture your relationship with yourself, the more you are ready and able to have relationships with others and give to them – whether that’s a spouse, partner, friends or family members.
How can you renew and nurture your relationship with you? At the core must be the belief that you are valuable, that you deserve to be cared for and that you’re worth it. So, the first step is to love yourself. You must be able to see that you are worthy of love and that the most important love you’ll ever receive is the love and acceptance you give yourself. It starts with you.
Once you acknowledge that you are important and worthy of love and self-care, you can take time to appreciate who you are and spend time refilling your pitcher. There are many ways to do this. To begin with, plan to give yourself some undivided attention. Focus on what you can do to breathe new life into your body, mind, and spirit.
Here are 7 suggestions to get you started:
1. Soak in the tub. If you love taking baths, create a tranquil ambiance – including candles and music – and soak in scented bath salts that relax and refresh your entire Being..
2. Get moving. For your body, exercise is another important component to include. Be sure to choose exercise you enjoy.
3. Eat well. Make healthy food choices and say ‘no’ to white flour products and refined sugar.
4. Take supplements. Visit a wellness store and get a good supplement plan in place … one you can stick with.
5. Listen to your body. Listen to your body and take care of your needs. Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, get a massage, indulge in a mani-pedi and kick any destructive habits/addictions you may be using to cope, like alcohol, drugs or food abuse. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
6. Appreciate yourself. Don’t forget about the little somethings that put smiles on faces and do those things for you. Write yourself a love letter, send a note of gratitude to yourself or even have flowers delivered to you at home or at work.
7. Just Say “No” – this can be so liberating! Give yourself permission to say no! We exhaust ourselves by saying “yes” when we want to say “no”. We fear we won’t be liked or people will be upset with us. Trust that setting a boundary will give you more energy and teach others to respect you and your time.
There is no better time to allow yourself some special self-love, attention and appreciation. Remember: it’s okay to admit that you need to be cared for as you care for others. That said, I encourage you to be a good mom to yourself. Take time this week to acknowledge and renew your relationship with yourself.
PS – A wonderful way to nurture and care for yourself is to get out of town – if you are loooonging for a few days JUST FOR YOU- where you will be loved and cared for, check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate beautiful group of like-minded ladies who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
I was shocked when I read these statistics…and it made me sad. I thought, WOW.. this HAS to change!
Tell me if you agree…
* 75% of women are experiencing chronic stress? Did you know that?
* 1 in 4 women over 40 are on anti-depressants!!!!
That’s a lot of emotional distress happening, stealing your joy, radiance and happiness.
I say the time to change this is NOW! Don’t you agree?
Because the reality is, either you or a woman you know:
- Lacks confidence and has low self-esteem in love
- Feels like something is definitely missing
- Chronically busy – no time for herself
- Living for everyone else and feels lost and/or unappreciated
- Wants to open her heart but is scared to get hurt again
Or maybe you or a woman you know has gone from high functioning to low functioning and feels stuck and frustrated.
When you are in the murky waters of your mind getting unstuck and creating happiness can seem elusive; you can spin your wheels waiting for things to change.
The truth is you DESERVE to sparkle and have a life you love!!!
Which is why, if you can relate to any of the above, I have a solution for you.
Let me tell you about something I know, without a shadow of a doubt, will transform your life – something I’ve given a lot of thought to, keeping you and your needs in the forefront of my mind.
I’ve created an immersive experience for you that will definitely bring your va-va voom back…
Ready to hear my remedy for results?
I’m proud to present the 3rd annual Soul Sparkle Retreat.
This soul-enriching adventure will provide you with the tools and support you need to make REAL CHANGE for lasting results. You will leave feeling like a new woman, totally empowered having released the past and opening your heart. You will also have a practical plan of action for bringing more love and joy into your daily life.
This retreat is highly experiential – you will not be sitting indoors all day learning content (although we do a little of that). The majority of the time you will be transforming through awesome experiences.
Click here to discover what Soul Sparkle will do for you!
If you struggle with doing something nice for yourself, know you are not alone. These women felt just like you and made a decision to stop waiting and take action. Here’s what they had to say about their experience at Soul Sparkle Retreat last year:
“This has been an amazing retreat! I’m leaving with my heart and soul refreshed and ready to expand my life. It exceeded my expectations!” ~ Peggy
“What a very positive, rejuvenating, energizing, inspirational and fulfilling experience! I became clear on how I want to show up in the next chapter of my life. Recently ending a marriage I needed to move through to the other side and leave that life behind. I made the right choice to come to Soul Sparkle Retreat – this is right where I needed to be.” ~ Jane
“Soul Sparkle was a great experience – something I really needed to do to get back to me.”~ K.D.
“I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and I feel I faced old fears and definitely stepped out of my box. This was an excellent experience bringing me growth and awareness and it was fun! Met some awesome women too!” ~ Patty
Here’s why I’m sharing these with you – these women made the choice to put themselves first so they could create a more joyful, fulfilling, love-filled life AND show up with more love for those they love.
So here’s what’s NEXT if you choose:
Soul Sparkle Retreat has only a few spots left – if you are interested in feeling happy, reconnecting and anchoring more solidly into your beautiful, diamond essence, and generally expanding your life with more love, this would be a great next step for you.
Simply click here to fill out a form so I can schedule a time to speak with you and see if this retreat is a good fit for you.
If you feel a longing in your heart, hurry and book a time to chat with me – there are only 2 spots left! Does one belong to you?
Who do you want to become?
In the movie version of your life, are you the Leading Lady you always thought you would be? Are you living the life you want? Or are you stuck in the wings, afraid to step out and into the spotlight and own your divine power in this world?
God, the divine, a higher power…whatever you believe in, intended you to live an empowered existence, and to experience life in the highest and happiest way possible.
If you are sitting reading this thinking… YES! I am so NOT living my life to the fullest, or owning my Leading Lady life, then stay with me, because making the change from hiding in the wings to standing in your personal sparkling spotlight is easier than you think honeychild!
What does it take to be a Leading Lady?
Well look no further than Hollywood “A” list stars for examples. What do they have in common? They exude confidence and self-assurance, its clear that they love and respect themselves and those around them. There’s this magnetic energy that surrounds them and draws you in, that’s why their movies and red carpet events get so much attention!
Here’s how to start the journey to becoming your own sparkly Leading Lady.
First, write down the characteristics of your ultimate leading lady.
~ How does she think?
~ How does she dress?
~ How does she talk?
~ How does she react to situations
~ How does she show up in life?
Then Do This:
- Find a picture of a role model that represents your Leading Lady ideals (can be an actress, or politician, an activist , a friend or anyone that embodies your list of characteristics listed above) and post that in a very conspicuous place. Remember that you want to see this multiple times a day so don’t put it on the back of your closet door unless that’s somewhere you go often!
- Write the characteristics of your Leading Lady on paper and post it on your fridge or wall in your bedroom next to the pictures of you role model.
- Visit this Leading Lady vision board OFTEN, a minimum of twice a day and stick to it!
To become your Leading Lady you need to take her characteristics and create images with them. Our brain associates with pictures more readily than words, so here’s where you can be creative and build an image with yourself in it firmly anchored in those traits OR find photo’s that represent them.
You can create your own Leading Lady vision board if you want! Once you create the images connect with them, FEEL them, engage the senses. Do this consistently twice a day and watch your new sparkling self-image spring to life.
By holding the image and characteristics of the Leading Lady you want to be in your mind several times a day, you are introducing what I call ‘The Magic of a Good Attitude’ into your life. If your Leading Lady characteristics say that your role model has great posture and her house is tidy and she spends at least a few hours a week taking care of herself so she can take care of others, then you will feel compelled to sit up straighter, do those dishes and book that mani pedi next week!
Write down the characteristics of the woman you want to become, connect with it, own it and you will soon see your outer world changing in ways that confirm you have become her! It sounds simple but its really just about creating a different self-image and attitude.
I talk about being your Leading Lady in my book Sexy and Sparkling After 40, in a chapter I call ‘Adjust your Attitude’ that is super helpful for this. You can get your copy here
Whooohooo birthday bash! Here I am celebrating with my life long gal pals in Ojai-they spoiled and pampered me with spa treatments, fabulous food ( check out the peanut butter/chocolate birthday torte – sumptuous!!) and loving friendship (the best gift of all!).
I thought I would be depressed about turning the big “5-0” but nothing could be further from the truth….I woke up feeling zippy, happy and blessed to be alive – to have lived to see 50…what fabulous experiences I’ve had thus far. I can’t wait to see what this new chapter and decade will bring…such a privilege to be on this planet!!
Feeling this way helped me get it – see the truth…life…a good life…is purely about perspective and attitude – looking at life as a gift puts the spring in your step and the sparkle in your eye, ALL day, EVERY day!
My five favorite birthday gifts:
1) Gratitude- give thanks for everything in life, all experiences (good and bad – how else do you grow??)
2) Love – Family, friends and Self… nothing trumps this connection.
3) Health – a positive mind and outlook keep the body feeling fantastic!
4) Adventure – makes you feel ALIVE!
5) Grace – the beauty and blessings of life!
50 does feel like the new 30 – nothing like a birthday to make you live life to the fullest with total appreciation – Yes!!!
What woman doesn’t “feel” like a WOMAN in a sexy new pair of stiletto’s? Your legs look longer, your calves curvier and if you didn’t have a cute little tushie before, you do now!
As you can see I’m in the thick of things at a big Macy’s sale – so many shoes, so little time:-) As part of the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Challenge my friend Janka and I decided to have some fun trying on all sorts of styles.
And you know what we discovered? It’s irrelevant whether you purchase or not, just slipping on a delicious pair of shoes and imagining ourselves on a date, sitting pretty, at a sparkling event, at a speaking engagement, you name it…was enough to excite and inspire us and remind us how fabulous it is to be a woman!
Go get your pretty feet in some sensational sandals now!!
Girls just wanna have fun challenge post #2…..Here I am with my dear friend, Nina, doing some hiking in Hollywood to kick off the 4th of July week-end. What a hot spot – from gorgeous g’eye candy to precious puppies to spectacular stilt performers – we saw it all!!!
To stay in the spirit of the holiday we declared independence from
all things that hold us back, interfere and distract us from getting our bod’s
in fab shape once and for all!!!
Being 40+ gals things have shifted, dropped, spread, grown,
and basically rearranged in such a way we can either laugh or cry! We vowed
to accept and love ourselves regardless,
do our best and make sure we have fun with every active adventure we
engage in. We also embraced a new theme with this desire – one of cardio
health, fitness and strength for internal health.
We want to be actively involved with our Girls Just Wanna
Have Fun activities into our 90’s and that requires an overall fitness attitude
honoring our bodies as the goddess temples that they are!
Our Kefi (passionate and spirited) attitude about health and
~choose exercises that we enjoy and view as FUN
~try new hikes to keep it interesting and exciting
~schedule exercise so we get it into our day without excuses
~make healthy food choices – saying sayonara to white flour
products and sugar.
~visit homeopathic store and get a good supplement plan
going that’s doable in all ways.
After hiking we went to lunch and had healthy salads in a
super festive restaurant – we left feeling so good about our afternoon and our
new Beautiful Body strategy – the key being – it has to be fun and it has to be
realistic – whooohooo I love this challenge it’s encompassing so many different
area’s of my life!
To your sparkling health and freedom!
Hello My Sparkling Beauties –
I invite you to my FREE call Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Challenge
on Friday, July 3rd @ 10am PST
If you ask yourself, “Where did that carefree, fun-loving, spontaneous sexy woman go?” this call is for YOU!
Face it. You’ve changed. Like millions of women, somewhere along the way while life was happening, you lost your sensational, sexy Self. And now, if you are reading this email, you know it’s time to GET HER BACK!
Getting her back means finding your Kefi (passionate, playful Self) thru attitude, body language, persona, and energy balancing.
Getting her back means embracing life with expansive joie de vivre! Live, laugh and love with gusto!
Join me live on this FREE 30 minute call and ask me anything you want.
If you can’t make the call, register anyway, you won’t want to miss these fun tips on how to get your mojo back. I’ll send out the replay within 24 hrs of the call.
Feel free to pass the invite to all of your fab posse of gal pals:-)
Love & Freedom,
Are you committed to finding your playful feminine spirit? How badly do you want a life of fun and romantic adventure? And when I say romantic adventure, that could mean anything from taking tango lessons with your man to being single and hooking up with your girlfriends, mastering some sensual moves and stepping out to test your new body language to test driving a sexy red porsche – it’s all a fun, romantic adventure!
My friend Jana and I ( in pic to the left) committed to weekly playtime to fan the flames of our femininity – so once a week we will get together to do something fun, girly and adventurous to unleash our creative Self expression.
Today we’re going to watch the Queen of Sensual Secrets
DVD’s -how to seduce without ever being noticed…. she guarantees once you master the moves shown on these DVD’s you’ll have…
What was the highlight of your week-end?
Mine was getting together with my dearest of friends to celebrate Alex’s birthday…see him in the photo – he’s the handsome Italian in black! We had a blast at a charming, intimate, Indian restaurant in Westwood sharing family stories, reliving travel tales, talking philosophy and just connecting.
The evening reminded me how precious friends are – the true joy of life. Where would we be without our core group of peeps. They love you, laugh with you, and help you face your insecurities. They bring you chocolate when you’re down and champagne when you’re on fire. Every adventure is made more fun when your fab friends are by your side to share the experience and give you the courage to step outside your comfort zone and try new things.
With everyone’s life spiraling out of control with stress and responsibilities – it’s super important to make the time to connect – to get and give that special nourishment to each other, reminding us who we are and what’s important.
I don’t know about you but I thank God for the pinky swear pact my friends and I made years ago to stay a part of each others life, no matter what challenges and changes have transpired. There is nothing as comforting as the familiarity of old friends who know you inside and out and love you for everything you are.
So take a moment and give a silent prayer of thanks for each and every
one of your pals and then let them know via card, call, email or text how grateful you are for their love and
support. Friends are definitely the joy of life!
Have you kept up your connection with your girlfriends? Do you make it a practice to get together on a regular basis? Once you’re happily hooked up it’s not always easy to see friends as often as it was when we were single but it’s nice to make it a point to gather for birthdays and/or holidays to keep that bond.
This pic shows me with one of my fav friends, Patti – we worked, traveled, shopped, laughed, cried, explored and had a ball together. She was my biggest supporter when I was going thru my divorce and I will always think of her as my special angel. Since our lives have both changed over the years we can’t hang as much as we’d like but we made a birthday pact and every year we go to our fav restaurant in Malibu to have a long leisurely lunch, drink champagne and laugh till we cry. It’s one of the highlights of my year – and the beauty of such a good friend is that no matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other we just pick up where we left off.
is always a hot topic for us – how important it is to stay connected.
How women love to gather to get a break from family responsibilities and get a smidgeon of the carefree life they had before they said their “I do’s.” It’s a part of being feminine – women need other women. Women help each other BECOME better women. And women make each other feel fabulous.
Hey, our men are great but they sure don’t have the emotional component of our gal pals. And last time I checked most men don’t necessarily want to rush off with us to the nearest make-up counter to try the latest shade of lipstick or get their nails done or rummage thru sale racks for a sexy frock. And they probably don’t want to sit around and talk about any number of the things us women love to gab about.
One of the greatest gifts of friendship is the phenomenal support our sisterhood generously gives us. Who else can you share your secrets with and trust they’ll take them to their grave? And who else can you bounce an idea off of just to listen and explore it with you and not get pissy if you don’t take their advice (sorry guys but that is kinda how you are – but it’s in your DNA to provide and give direction so we forgive you!). Don’t you gals just sometimes want to run an idea around without feeling guilty if we don’t take the advice? And our girlfriends are perfect for that!
So if you’ve maintained your connections to your female posse, Fannntassstic. But if you’ve let them slide, make it a point to reconnect. Stepping into that feminine space will help you connect to your own feminine power and make you feel magnificent about yourself. And you’ll realize how much you’ve missed your dear friend. Call her today!!
Please comment on how you stay connected to your girlfriends or if you haven’t, how that makes you feel:-)