We are in the month of gratitude! Loooove this month! One of my lifetime gratitude’s is to my book coach Patrick Snow (in the pic above with me @ my book launch party). Without his brilliant advice and guidance I wouldn’t have published my book, Sexy and Sparkling after 40, which shares my SPARKLE System- the foundation of the work I’m privileged to share with women all over the world!
My clients bring me a joy that is priceless. I am forever grateful to be part of their journey back to wholeness and Self.
The most common complaint I hear as a coach from women over 40 is that they’ve lost themselves. They’ve lived their life for everyone else and when they look in the mirror – the image looking back at them is tired and stressed. The spark is gone from their eye and they want it back!!
Hey I can totally relate, it happened to me.
How about you? Do you feel like somewhere along the way you lost yourself?
If so, don’t feel bad, because you are not alone. Millions of women all over the world are waking up to the reality that they have a deep desire to feel whole and happy again – to get back their sparkle – to find their joy, to feel empowered.
What I’ve discovered over the last 10 years of working with women is that there’s a common theme: in the process of doing what we think is going to please others: career, romantic relationship, kids, being a good mom, daughter, sister and friend – we pretzel to make everyone else happy. Ending up feeling stressed and exhausted.
Watch this video for a 5 step proven solution.
I recently had a conversation with a male friend about this very topic. We discussed how men are attracted to women who are confident and living a life they love.
He reflected on his romantic experiences…sharing this insight: as his relationships progressed there was a tendency for the woman to change. She often gave up a part of herself to cater to his needs or children’s needs (of course you will want to give to them – we are talking about giving in excess), running herself ragged and forgoing the things that used to bring her soul joy.…consequently becoming a very different woman than she was when they met …this is how she starts to lose herself… and this is how relationships begin to unravel.
As I mentioned above this has been brought to the forefront time and time again over the years as an “aha” for the women I coach. Perhaps you can relate to this?
If so, the solution is a successful 5-step process you can put into action immediately.
Click on the video above to get back your sparkling, joyful, vibrant Self pronto!
P.S. Testimonial… I could go on and on about how your course has helped me ENJOY every day with a BRIGHT, POSITIVE, DAZZLING outlook on life. The positive energy I am creating is spilling over into my relationships with everyone. Even strangers are friendlier and kinder! My life is no longer a list of chores but an endless joyful event. The future looks great! Thanks, Sherri. I highly recommend your course to anyone who feels that “something is missing” in their life. ~ Donna from Delaware
Last week was my annual girlfriend getaway trip to NYC. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how important girlfriend bonding is for women. So just like the movie, Same Time Next Year, my soul sister Saskia and I have vowed to meet every year for continued adventures together.
This time we had a blast walking the very active and ALIVE streets of the city; we soaked in the beauty of Central Park, drooled over the fashions in the rain, and went to see one of my favorite comedians, Seinfeld (he was HILARIOUS by the way and was filming for a Netflix special – you have to watch!!). We got lucky with some unexpected great weather AND some rain and enjoyed both because it’s always about spending time together, sharing what’s on our hearts, catching up and having fun:)
This year I was so grateful for an additional day with my awesome friend, Lidia (met her at one of my training’s) and had the opportunity to visit her in the oh so charming town of Larchmont. Talk about a Hallmark Movie – it really does exist!! She’s living it and it’s so inspiring!!!
If you’ve been following me or know me at all, you know friendships are extremely important to me, for many reasons…
Do you know what one of the most powerful things is about spending time with your friends? Aside from the support, connection and fun you have together, when we share and bond we release this really powerful happy hormone – Oxytocin. It flows thru the body and makes us feel fantastic. Isn’t that cool?
It’s a natural feel good cocktail for the soul. Ahhhhhhh.
Studies show living a happy and empowered life that is rich and fulfilling can’t be done alone. It’s our connection to others that gives life it’s richness and adds meaning to our precious time on this planet.
I could not agree more…Which is why it’s so important to stay in touch with your friends – hey, I know life gets crazy with family and work but your friends help you stay connected to that carefree life we had before all the major responsibilities became our priority.
When I reflect on my own life from the curve-balls of the death of my first boyfriend and crumbling of my marriage to new adventures and fun girlfriend getaways, my friends made it better.
They love you, laugh with you, and stand by your side when facing fears and upsets. They validate that you are not alone, crazy, or paranoid. They inspire, support and uplift you, providing the type of therapy that no money can buy because it’s all wrapped in loving care.
As a matter of fact, research now tells us friendships are even more critical to our health and well-being than family relationships. Just one more reason to revel in the joys of girl time!
We all want to be happy and to feel good so I’ve got a fun exercise that will put a smile on your face and will brighten not only your day but will uplift a friend as well.
Since this is the month of thanks giving – I thought it would be appropriate to share the Girlfriend Gratitude Challenge! Super fun way to increase the love in your heart 🙂
This Challenge is designed to help you celebrate the magic and wonder of female friendship. It will shift you out of any unpleasant emotion and fill up your heart with love in seconds!!
I’m all in – will you join me Sparkle sister?
The Girlfriend Gratitude Challenge:
Every day this month take a moment and give a silent prayer of thanks for each and every one of your friends.
Then, let them know what a difference they’ve made in your life by sending them a card, giving a call, or sending a heartfelt email or text.
Make their day as they’ve so often made yours, by letting them know how grateful you are for their love, laughter, and support.
When you take the time to celebrate and acknowledge your friends it will increase your love and happiness vibration, and theirs as well. If there is something in particular that you remember they’ve done for you, mention it specifically – that will be even more meaningful for both of you.
Let’s fill each other with love ladies and start the Challenge today!!!
IT’S official. It’s over. Actually it’s been over for quite some time now. Then why can’t you move on?
You may think you’re doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can’t shimmy away from him. Truth be told even if you aren’t in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!
Breaking up can be hard to do. We may be bonded to the other person and have a hard time letting go. Not having a clean break, however, may be confusing for either party. Keeping what seem to be innocent connections may send the signal that you want to get back together or they stand in the way of making a future connection with someone new.
You are probably intertwined with your ex in ways you don’t even realize are preventing you from doing so.
I came across the following article that I was asked to participate in by YourTango a few years ago and wanted to share it with you because it is still incredibly relevant for anyone who desires to move on but just can’t seem to do it and doesn’t understand why they can’t. This article brings to light ten hidden ways we stay connected with our ex’s. Read your way to freedom!!….
We’re in the last quarter of the year, AND the decade!!! No matter where you are at today you can still make this your best year yet!!!
That said, there is a wonderful tool you can use to help you do this with more ease and grace. Today I was reflecting on this tool – it’s Divine inner nudges – you know the ones – the soft and gentle whispers within that hope to get your attention to make your life easier.
Do you listen to that voice?
If you’re anything like me, the answer truthfully is not always. And the times I haven’t listened, I could kick myself! And the times I have….ah well, there is always some kind of magic waiting for me.
I’m reminded of a time in the beginning of my career as an author and coach that I had a “feeling” to go to the Women’s Journey Conference. Not only did I end up sitting next to Marci Shimoff (#1 NY Times best-selling author) but we did an interactive exercise together where we shared our mission and stood for each other.
I have to be honest, initially I was shy and nervous to be voicing my mission to this world renowned transformational leader – but I gathered my courage and told her my dream and guess what? She didn’t laugh or look at me with disbelief. She fully embraced and supported me in my dream. In that moment the difference in where we were in our level of accomplishment disappeared and we were just two women sharing our vision and longings Soul to Soul- it was beautiful, real and authentic.
That was a wonderful gift and lesson for me. Sometimes we feel like, who am I to have such a big bold dream? But the truth is, we are all here for a Divine purpose and the world is waiting for you to show up and own your dream. So what is your dream? And what is holding you back from fully going for it?
Over the years I’ve had many conversations with women who are “waiting” to take their bold move. Most express they don’t yet have the confidence or want to get some weight off, or don’t feel good about themselves and how they present. And they have this idea that if they only had this magnetism, this irresistible essence it would be easier.
I get it. I totally get it. Going for it can be terrifying.
But if you don’t, isn’t leaving this planet without going for your dream even more terrifying?
It was for me. So I thought about some things that always help me take those scary first steps in hopes they will inspire you to go for your dream too because the world needs YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS!!
7 Ways to feel more confident and irresistible:
1. Get out and move. Simply putting on a pair of sneakers and walking for 30 minutes a day will clear your head of any bad juju as well as get your blood flowing AND give your skin a rosy glow to boot! Nobody can resist a bright smile and positive energy!
2) Participate and contribute. Nothing is more attractive than someone who believes deeply and passionately about their mission or cause and devotes her time and energy to it. This may be a love of animals, helping the homeless, cleaning up the environment or taking great care of your family or, or, or!!! So get involved and follow your passion! It it’s animals, check out your local animal shelter for volunteer opportunities, or if your passion is to help those in need, spend a few hours a week at a local shelter or local soup kitchen. Filling yourself up with purpose is a great way to grow as a person and will also increase your level of feeling good about yourself!
3. Know that who you are is enough. There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman who knows she’s beautiful from the inside out. Knows that who she is, at her core, is worthy of all that her heart desires! Buying into the media messages that promote image rather than substance undermines your self-esteem and further sabotages your self-image. Own that you are as valuable as a diamond:)
4. Have more fun. Opening up to playfulness frees the creative expression of your soul and brings to life your charisma, magnetic charm and vibrancy. Not only does having fun ignite your inner feminine essence (giving you a glow money can’t buy), it also opens you up to idea’s that you haven’t been able to access due to worry and anxiety. And according to Harvard studies when you are in playful energy you are present which allows you to connect with others at a deeper level because they FEEL you. You are very attractive to higher quality opportunities when you engage in fun! Get playing love!!!
5. Be interested. One of the #1 needs people have is to be heard and appreciated. Dale Carnegie talks about the value of listening to others in his work as being crucial to connection so get into the habit of being on the receiving end by developing your listening skills and showing a genuine curiosity in what others have to say. When they feel that they are being heard, understood, supported and maybe even challenged by your questions, not only will they feel like YOU are one of the most interesting people they’ve met, they’ll feel a bond, a connection and a relationship is born.
6. Do what you love. When you’re engaged in activities you love and feel good doing, you exude self-confidence, authenticity, and radiance. Don’t use your circumstances or weight as an excuse to hide from the world and stop living because then you lose your sense of empowerment. One of my mentors liked to say we all have circumstances don’t let your circumstances have you!! So get out and engage in activities you enjoy! This will make you feel more alive and confident.
7. Listen to those inner nudges. Get familiar with the voice of the Divine – it’s soft, gentle and will always give you inspired, kind and loving ideas. If you are hearing a shout or something negative this is not God (or the Universe or The Infinite, whatever you call this Higher Power) talking to you. It’s your ego – Edging God Out!! The voice of Love is never punishing or critical or judgemental – it’s always supportive, kind and compassionate -that’s the voice you want to listen to:))
Once you hear it, if an action isn’t clear, ask what action to take and then TAKE IT!!! You will be soooo glad you did. This is your secret super power that will make your life so much easier and save you time, suffering and often money.
Now, you can confidently bring yourself into the moment without any thoughts or insecurities that take away from your natural sparkling self!
I challenge you to be bold and take a stand for your dream today so that a year from now you aren’t saying, “If only I had started a year ago.”
Thursday was the 4 year anniversary of my dad’s death…that coupled with the full moon had me doing a lot of reflecting and there have been some big waves of emotion as surprising memories came to the surface to be soothed…there was also an awareness that the important relationships in our life are layered and take time to be fully processed and healed.
In conjunction with that I also feel great gratitude for the growth of our relationship over the last years of his life.
Have you ever wanted a “do over” with one or both of your parents? Wipe the slate clean and start fresh? Did you do it? Or did you hold back feeling a little anxious?
I get it. I was scared and stayed stuck for years not really knowing how to change things. In the past, I had “dipped my big toe” a bit, but I had never “dove in” to make lasting change.
Until one day I reached a point where it was more important than not to heal this relationship. You see, I started feeling like I was missing out – not only with my dad but in my personal life too. I recognized the trickle effect it was having with romantic partners as well. And so I began to take it seriously and boy am I glad I did.
Have you ever felt that way? That you’re missing out?
Good news – there is a formula to not only mend relationships but to create deeply loving ones…so you never have to miss out again.
When you look into the mirror do you like what you see? Is there a sparkle in your eye that makes you smile or a glistening glow that screams happiness? Or do you see a woman who is tired, stressed and maybe a little sad… and wonder, where did that happy-go-lucky, fun-loving woman go – who have I become?
Do you ever go down the rabbit hole when you see other women with adoring partners hanging on their every word and totally taking care of them…do you ever have the thought what do they have that I don’t?
When you desire a passionate, soulful connection (whether you’re in a flat lined relationship or single and seeking) and you don’t have what you want, it can be really frustrating, can’t it?
So I want to share a solution that’s actually simpler than you might imagine. The key to a happy life can be found in these three secrets:
#1 – Sparkle: the first place to start is getting back your sparkle. This means “BEING” in “LOVE”! Many people interpret “being in love” in an other oriented way – I’m in love with my husband/boyfriend, I’m in love with my job, I’m in love with my dog, you get the picture. In truth when you allow yourself to BE – just being who you are, in the present moment here and now – and you allow yourself to fill up with love, becoming love – you are now, “ being in love”. There is no focus or dependence on any one else being the catalyst for you enjoying this extraordinary bliss. When you are in this state you sparkle. You’re happy, you’re excited, you’re having fun and you’re giving an abundance of authentic love to everyone you see. This is a fabulous place to be! From here you not only nurture the partnerships you already have – you attract relationships, friends, and situations that are equally as loving.
#2 Laughing: give yourself permission to unleash your playful feminine spirit because to live a life of pleasure you must first know pleasure! So get in touch with your inner child – what did you like to do when you were young? As we grow older we often get way too serious. There is no room for frivolity if you are structured and serious.
If you are having trouble recalling what brought you happiness as a child, take a few minutes to sit down and reminisce about what you loved to do if you had even 10 extra minutes as a kid. Did you dance, draw, read, sing, bake? Chances are whatever you liked doing then you will still enjoy today.
Another fabulous benefit from laughing is that it opens the mind and heart, oxygenates your cells and gives you a fantastic glow, not only making you feel light and young, you will look years younger too!
Making fun and pleasure a priority is definitely essential to your happily ever after, so embrace your passionate, playful side and you will free yourself to live, laugh and love fully self-expressed.
In addition, bringing play into your relationship adds fun adventure, lightens any mood and opens the heart creating a nice bonding experience.
Plus, it will get your man to open up and talk more. If you are frustrated by your man’s lack of chit-chat get him relaxed and playful – believe me, he’ll start yappin’ up a storm.
#3 – Confidence:men find women with confidence positively irresistible and sexy. Confidence says you genuinely love and respect yourself. You exude an energy that’s magnetic, magical and mesmerizing. You know who you are and what you want. You don’t expect others to create your happiness. You take responsibility for your joy and you know how to create your joy, independently of others. This takes the pressure off your significant other and lures them in to your wild and wondrous web of fabulosity.
A super tip and quick way to build confidence is to do something outside your comfort zone every day. Being brave and taking bold steps builds confidence pronto.
Reconnect with the real YOU – the you that glows with Divine Love and from this place you shine your Diamond Power! When you find your playful, confident, feminine spirit you can turn a lonely, dull life into full on fireworks!
As we head into fall it’s the perfect time to regroup and refocus on the visions and goals we set at the beginning of the year. It’s so easy for everyday distractions to take us in different directions during the summer; maybe the kids are at home pulling on you in every which way or your relationship ended and you’ve been nursing some deep hurts. When the curveballs of life are poppin’ up it’s easy to find yourself losing sight of the goals you set out to accomplish AND your overall well being. Setting some personal boundaries is just what you need to remove the chaos and feel confident in your routine this season.
Here are 4 key area’s of YOU to take charge of:
Setting Boundaries Around Your Emotions We all go through periods of depression, sadness or discomfort but we want to be careful not to wallow in these emotions. It is important though to acknowledge your feelings. Pretending that a difficult experience didn’t happen isn’t any healthier than refusing to move on from it. Allow yourself the time to process and heal, but decide that after a specific amount of time, you’re going to put the experience behind you and move forward.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Physical Movement Creating healthy boundaries around physical movement is especially important for anyone who sits at a desk all day long. Set the alarm on your phone to remind you when it’s time to get up and stretch or drink a glass of water. Put on your favorite music and dance for two minutes or do an easy cross crawl, where you touch opposite hand to opposite knee while marching in place. Any of these activities will bring fresh oxygen to your brain, allowing you to work more efficiently and have better, more creative ideas.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Thoughts One summer morning, I went out early, and I saw a woman walking her dog. It was a big dog, but you could tell he was still a puppy, and he was going nuts! First, there was a bird he wanted to chase, then it was a squirrel, then a gardener revved up his lawnmower, and the dog tried to dart across the street. Every time he tried to run off, his owner tugged on his collar, sometimes gently, sometimes with a little more force.
I looked at that dog, and thought, “This is how we are with our thoughts.” They take our attention here, there and everywhere. They zap our energy, hold us captive and keep us from becoming our glorious, sparkling selves. We have to rein them in just as that woman did with her dog.
Setting Boundaries Around Your Behavior in Relationships I have a friend who recently admitted to me that she’s been stalking her boyfriend online. When I asked her why she was doing this, she told me, “If he’s doing things behind my back, I want to know so that I don’t end up getting hurt.”
This type of behavior is extremely common, and it isn’t just a problem in romantic relationships. Maybe you feel like someone at work is out to get you or can’t be trusted. If you go looking for evidence that supports those beliefs, chances are good you’re going to find it and end up making assumptions that have no truth to them at all. Free yourself from the need to confirm your worst fears and trust that God will show you whatever you are meant to know at the perfect time.
Did you find any of these area’s pertinent to you? If so, leave a comment below and let me know what steps you’re going to take to set healthy boundaries with yourself. Let your boundaries set you free!!!!!
This past week I was going through some old pictures and reminiscing about a wonderful day I had with my two great friends, Cherry and LeeAnn. We had gone on a 27 mile bike ride along the beach sharing our goals, funny stories and laughing about past memories.
We stopped for beer, delicious crab legs and hushpuppies (which I still dream about to this day!!) At the end of the day, as I was driving home, I found myself giddy from a care-free day of giggles, girl talk and spontaneity. I felt like I was in my teens again, not worrying about day to day chores or the stress that life can bring.
It was an incredible feeling – although I should’ve been exhausted from my bicycle adventure, I felt happy and ready to take on whatever life brought me. Even when I felt fully rested and relaxed the day before, my mindset was completely different.
I started to think and asked myself– why do we turn our backs on our youthful spirits? What are ways we can access our youth and allow it to re-energize us? I hear women all the time telling me how tired they are and how they wish they could attain a more energetic and sparkling mindset.
What about you doll? Can you relate?
Well here it is – simple and sweet – the secret to youth is to laugh and play with wild abandon.
As Oscar Wilde put it, “An inordinate amount of pleasure is the secret to remaining young”.
It’s been scientifically proven Laughter and merrymaking lead to a more joyful state of being and keep us dynamic. The more you are laughing, the more you are sparkling.
Not to mention the load of health benefits that come from a good giggle. Tons of hormones and chemicals are released that have an amazingly positive effect on the body – successfully lifting depression, anxiety, sadness and plenty of other soul squashing culprits.
How long has it been since you had a good laugh? I mean a gut wrenching, tear streaming, cheeks hurting kind of laugh.
If you’re like most busy women, it’s been too long.
Did you know the average person used to laugh 20 minutes a day and now it’s down to less than 5 minutes? Isn’t that sad? When did we all get so darn serious? It’s clear we’ve forgotten how to play!
I understand if you resist and put pleasure on the back burner. It’s the first instinct when you’ve got a to-do list a mile long.
But, I’m here to tell you, living a life of “have to’s” with few or no “get to’s” will leave you feeling unfulfilled, bored, disconnected and it will pull your energy down. This creates an aging affect where you become old before your time.
That’s the opposite of what you want!
Opening up to playfulness is the greatest gift – it frees the creative expression of your soul. Suddenly your charisma, magnetic charm and vivacious va-va-voom are larger than life. This is your diamond power, that lively youthful glow that money can’t buy.Yes, yes and YES baby!!!
Make a commitment to step outside of your routine to make fun and pleasure a priority. Your frisky feminine spirit – that juicy part of you that’s been buried far too long is dyyy-ing to come out and play.
When you start having fun you will activate your inner sparkle. This in-love-with-life attitude will give you energy and vitality in droves. Your joy will put a twinkle in your eye and a bounce in your step. Talk about connecting to your youthful spirit.
Even the simplest things can bring a whole lot of delight.
Ask yourself these 3 things to bring back your sparkle:
What brings you great joy?
What makes you laugh?
What makes your face and heart smile?
Make a list of all the things that bring you bliss and then turn it into your Joie de Vivre to-do list.
If you commit to having FUN, living with passion, seeking silliness, and experiencing life with a thirst, you will be guaranteed a happy, youthful life. You’ll be irresistible to men, in fact everyone – and you will draw to you every dream your heart desires.
Year round we all long for the carefree, sunshine filled days of summertime. It is hard to think about summer without those feel-good tingles of joy and reminiscing on fond memories. Warm weather, endless opportunities and spontaneous adventures are around every corner!
Whether you are indulging in a tropical vacation or working and spending time with family at home, summer can be as sparkling as you make it! Re-inspire yourself this summer, no matter how you choose to spend it.
P.S. Super thrilled to be hosting my 3rd annual Soul Sparkle Retreat this week!!!! Ten beautiful and brave women said YES to their growth and Self-Care – yay for them!!!! Can’t wait to see them step into their most magnificent Selves!!! If you wanted to go but the timing wasn’t right for you this year, reach out and we’ll add you to the contact list for next year:))
When’s the last time you had a good laugh? I don’t mean a little chuckle, or texting LOL to a friend. I mean a real, joyful, throw your head back kind of laugh!
Research tells us we are more attractive to men (and everyone for that matter) when we laugh in their presence.
So the question arises, are you spending your free/fun time doing things that increase your joy and happiness?
Whether you are single or in a relationship: if you want some memorable co-mingling you’ll want to increase your love vibe by making sure you are behaving in ways that are in sync with the life you want to create!
Be honest. Are you spending your free time holed up in your own home or focused on completing your to-do list? If you are, yet deeply desire a loving relationship, you’ll need to make some serious changes.
Engaging in activities that leave you feeling unfulfilled, bored or disconnected will pull your energy down, making you less attractive and creating the opposite affect of what you want.
So make a conscious choice to reclaim your playful spirit. Be open, adventurous and daring! When you start having fun you will activate your inner sparkle and this in-love-with-life attitude will make you irresistible to the opposite sex.
Laughter is a way to increase your appeal pronto!!! It’s a fact that laughter helps us bond with others.
Ever heard the expression “Laugh and the world laughs with you”? Research shows that when we laugh, we tend to talk more, make more eye contact and do more of the things that help us connect with others.
“At the height of laughter, the Universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” ~ Jean Houston
When you laugh, your brain responds by opening up to new perceptions. Your amusement creates your energetic state of being joyful that dispels anger, heals pain and releases stress.
There are other awesome benefits to laughing more as well: just hearing laughter helps to put us in a good mood, creating a positive emotional way of being.
You are sending a signal to your brain that you are in a state of happiness and relaxation. Correspondingly, your brain will shift your negative thoughts and emotions to the positive. This way of being is highly attractive and magnetic to others!
Basically, there are no downsides to laughter, and we should attempt to do it freely and more often!
Does this sound good? Ready to add more fun, joy, and laughter to your life?
Plan of Action:
Many of my clients use a Fun Journal – why not give it a try? Turn the first page into an index of 20 social situations that support your relationship goals and then act on one/week. Write about the outcome.
Here are 5 fun activities to get your journal started:
Festival music events
Get out there and have some fun! When you’re enjoying life and laughing, you’ll become an incredible magnetic force for love and happiness!
P.S. Big News! Launching my new digital talk show “The Miracle in You” this month!! Keep your eyes peeled!!!