For many years I let self-doubt, fear of being judged and criticized as well as worry about what others would think hold me back from pursuing my dreams and living a bigger life. At first it was around writing my book, Sexy and Sparkling after 40, and most recently it’s popped up again around my new talk show, The Miracle in You.
This scary feeling of not being good enough and comparing myself to others keeping me stuck.
Have you faced this in your life? Most people do, so if you are shaking your head “yes” you are in good company!!
The key question is: how do you overcome your fears?
What I’ve discovered is that fear is overcome with courage and the powerful tool of taking action – even when you are scared. Actually ESPECIALLY when you are scared. That’s how we grow and that’s how we build our self-confidence – stepping outside our comfort zone.
Consistent baby steps not only build self-confidence, they increase our self-esteem. With every step you start to believe in yourself a little more – you start to lean in and love yourself a little more – and with that you start emanating and projecting a certain magic mojo. Self-respect and confidence open up new possibilities and doors begin to open that move you in a whole new positive and exciting direction.
For me, developing my confidence is what helped me overcome my fear of not being good enough, and finally pursuing my dreams.
I still have that old fear crop up (as I mentioned with the new talk show venture), but now I use my tools to break through the wall of fear and come out on the other side victorious and more confident for having had the courage to try.
I’ve practiced boosting my confidence to overcome fear many times over the years, and that success fuels further success. It’s something that I now teach my coaching clients; how to build confidence and create happiness one step at a time.
It is possible, and actually exhilarating, to take control of your life by taking control of your self-confidence. When you take actions that improve your competence and your self-image, you can increase your confidence and go forward with gusto. Yeah baby!
Below, I outline 12 things that will help you instantly boost the confidence you need to move in the direction of your dreams. Self-confidence creates positive changes. Your dreams truly are attainable. By making one choice at a time, you can choose to experience all that you desire. The sky is the limit!None of these tricks is something you don’t already know – in fact some of them are very simple. But sometimes we need a reminder because sometimes that part of us that doesn’t want to move forward likes to make things complicated so we stay stuck. Let’s change that pronto!!!
I promise you that as you take new actions, your results will change. By making new choices frequently you will develop new habits. And, fresh habits will change the fabric of your life so that it unfolds in new and exciting ways. These 12 tricks are some of my favorite things, stuff that’s worked for me.
Pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. Have fun with this!
12 Tricks to boost confidence – Go for it with gusto
Physical fitness has a huge effect on self-confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By getting regular exercise, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
2. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up focusing on our imperfections. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self-confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
3. Good Posture
Research suggests that people with good posture have more confidence in their thoughts than slouchers. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically enjoy more confidence. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self-confidence. By looking for the best in others, you’ll bring out the best in yourself.
Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, Tony Robbins isn’t always in your area. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
7. List your accomplishments
A fantastic way to remind yourself of what you are made of is to make a list as far back as you can of the things you’ve done that you are proud of. I keep a picture of myself at the top of a mountain I climbed as my phone wallpaper to remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to – it helps and it will help you too! We often focus on what we HAVEN’T done making us feel bad about ourselves – a simple shift of focus to look at what you have done will start making you feel that inner swell of authentic strength and pride– boosting your confidence big time!
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Practice Good Scents
One study found that women felt more confident in social, business and romantic situations when wearing perfume. Spritz on your favorite scent before walking out the door to ensure you feel fabulously self-assured.
10. Dress Sharp
While clothes don’t make you the woman you are – they certainly affect the way you feel about yourself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance.Ditch your old worn out garments or donate them to a charity. Build a wardrobe of clothes that make you look and feel amazing. Looking good in fabulous frocks will spike your confidence and make you feel marvelous. Win-win!
11. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self-confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make you look and feel more important.
Social psychologist Laura Kray, PhD, has demonstrated that smiling, laughing and engaging in slight physical contact when negotiating can help you win the day. Plus, it puts you in touch with your charismatic feminine energy, which is highly attractive to others. Flirtation can be like jet fuel for your confidence. Up, up and away!
So there you have it, a 12-step recipe to unshakable confidence.