Last week I was talking to a friend of mine about love…she shared that although she absolutely loves her 2nd husband and is very happy she would never love him with the same kind of wild abandon she had her first husband…she admitted to holding a part of her heart back…because of the pain she went thru in her previous marriage.
Can you relate?
Most of us have had experiences and situations in our lives that have in effect, caused us to build barriers to guard our hearts. We say to ourselves, “I’m never going to let that happen to me again!” and we feel safe with these protective walls. But mama mia that will also keep out the deeply connected and bonding love we desire. So the trick is to know when to allow your walls to collapse and let the old stories go. Once this happens, love can pour in.
And the truth is everyone deserves to live a life filled with love and loving connections. So how can we intentionally create and experience more love?
Although many of us look for love on the outside, the path to love really begins inside. This Rumi quote describes it perfectly:
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi
Too often, the lack of deep love in our lives comes from a lack of self-love and self-compassion. Many of our love barriers were created to protect ourselves from our own inner critic. Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves. When faced with our flaws the negative self chatter starts: “I’m not good enough. I’m worthless.” “I’m not interesting enough.” “I’m too old – who would want me?”
And of course, the goalposts for what counts as “good enough” seem always to remain out of reach. No matter how well we do, someone else always seems to be doing it better. The result of this line of thinking is sobering: Millions of people suffer from insecurity, anxiety, and depression, and much of this is due to self-judgment, to beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t measuring up.
So what’s the answer? Click here to find out!
PS — I want to give you something to help you release the past and open to more love… Click here for your Valentine FREE Gift (password: love).
What would you love in 2019?
You are at a perfect point to plan and prepare for the best year you’ve ever had – SO exciting!
It starts with taking a stand for the life you desire and knowing that…“Your history does not determine your destiny.”Loooove this quote!!
You do that by staying forward focused and leading yourself in an empowered way.
But how do you do that when you’re not sure what that looks like or how to do it?
Ironically it’s not just about how YOU lead yourself. Did you know the power of the other is always at work in your life?
It’s been widely suggested not to let others have power over us – but they do.
According to acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist and NY Times best-selling author Dr. Henry Cloud the power of the other can effect you from the boardroom to the bedroom…and beyond!
So how do you wisely navigate this external influence so that you can have a fantastic 2019?
In my interview with Dr. Cloud he reveals:
- How to create relationships that support your growth and inspire you to be all that you can be
- How to disconnect from the power of the other that seems to sabotage or put a kabash on your dreams
Watch my interview with Dr. Henry Cloud now.
Here’s to surrounding yourself with the right people for your BEST year yet!!!
Last week we talked about setting yourself up for success in 2020 with 3 questions to gain clarity on your dream.
Did you answer them? Let’s assume you have. Ok then! You’ve got a dream, a goal, ambition and you’re ready to take the world by storm. Woo hoo!
And then, if you’re like everyone else, almost as soon as you decide to go for it, it seems like one thing after another comes up to side track and derail you! Soooooo very frustrating isn’t it???
Here’s the thing…anyone who’s dared to dream knows that the initial excitement will eventually be met with some form of obstacle or resistance. In addition to those outer roadblocks, your inner world starts to create some jam ups too. Why? Because as soon as you decide for a dream anything unlike it must come up to be released and re-patterned. So, how do you move past these derailments on the path to your oh so awesome dream?
The first step is to recognize that a roadblock is not a dead end.
When a challenge arises, it’s important to stay connected to your “why” and not to give up. Why do you want this particular thing? As long as you keep this in the forefront of your mind you can recenter, refocus and recommit.
After all, a detour on the way to work wouldn’t keep you from getting to your end destination. So why would you let a detour on the path to your dream keep you from reaching your aspirations?
The 3 Biggest Obstacles to Achieving Your Dream & 3 Solutions
Obstacle #1 – Distraction
Distractions can keep you stuck in a rut. Have you ever set time aside for a project but before you sit down you look around and there’s the laundry or there’s a pile of mail you haven’t gone thru? Then you notice there’s that drawer you wanted to clean out, or you get a call from a friend and instead of letting it go to voice mail you pick up and spend an hour chitchatting with her, or you check your email and texts or get on Facebook?
These distractions can keep you on a permanent detour from getting to your dream!
Solution #1 – Stay focused & Set boundaries
Achieving your dream is going to require focus and effort. Set aside time regularly to work toward your aspirations. Treat this time as a VIP priority. Make sure you turn off all distractions. Put your phone on silent and close your email application.
Think of distractions as your archenemy in the field of your dreams.
Remember the importance of achieving your goal as you create your vision. If any distractions start to pop up, remember what they are and that you can make a choice of how to deal with them.
Obstacle #2 – Your habitual patterns keep you stuck
Most people want a life that’s warm, fuzzy and filled with fulfillment. Yet we go through life blaming our circumstances for the life we have rather than taking ownership and leading ourselves to a more empowered life. The truth is we all have circumstances, the trick is not to let the circumstances have us. Whether we are stuck in the past, seeing nothing at all ahead, or envisioning a dazzling future– all are equal in producing our reality. If we are dissatisfied yet do nothing to change, we will continue to live a mediocre life at best.
Solution #2 – Get in the driver’s seat and take control
Take responsibility for creating the life you want. You are the leading lady of your own life. Do the work to “know” what you want and “choose” those things. You have the power to create a life you love. It’s always a choice. You can move out of victim mentality, out of feeling stuck, and out of being irresponsible for life’s outcomes. You can choose to move into responsibility, possibilities, personal power and limitless opportunities.
It’s time to get in the driver’s seat and take control of your destination. You must identify and harness the power, control and responsibility for your thoughts and actions so you can be empowered to create a life you love.
Obstacle #3 – Fear
Fear, doubt, and worry are like leeches to your dream. There is a part of you that wants to move forward and there’s a part of you that doesn’t. The part of you that doesn’t is fearful of change. It will tell you all the reasons why you can’t reach your goal like, “you’re too old, you don’t know enough, you don’t have the money, you don’t have what it takes, you failed before what makes you think you can succeed this time?” Its job is to protect you in a safe little cocoon and therefore it will resist any form of growth and expansion in your life.
Solution #3 – Neutralize your fear
When you feel fear and anxiety creeping up, you’ll need to step out of that thought pattern. Take a deep breath and begin to focus on the “why” of your dream. Why is it that this dream important to you? When your “why” is big enough, the how will appear.
Ask yourself, what’s one step you can take from where you are right now, with what you have, to move towards your goal?
Your dream/vision will unfold one step at a time. Even the longest journey begins with just one step. What one step can you take now?
Here’s to staying on track on the path to your dream. You CAN do it! I believe in you. Happy visioning!
You and your dream have been on my mind as I sit sipping coffee in a cabin in Mammoth today (see pic) totally awed by God’s gift of nature – the strength of the snow covered mountains, the crisp cleanliness of the air, the energy orbs showing up in my pictures…there’s a feeling of Divine magic in the air. The sense that anything is possible…
So tell me, if you knew that anything was possible and you were guaranteed to succeed what would you do?
Have you created your vision for 2020? Imagine it’s December 31st, 2020 and you are sipping champagne with someone you love – do you have a clear vision of what you would be celebrating?
Could you describe it in detail right now or is it a bit fuzzy?
Today we’re going to be focusing on your most sparkling blueprint for the coming year!
If you are like most people, you see bits and pieces of what you want to happen or you might be afraid to dream for fear of being disappointed, so it’s still a blank canvas.
Regardless, know that you can have the love-filled, exciting, happy life you desire. All you have to do is get very specific about what you want and stay connected to that vision every day and voila you are making welcome the life you would love.
So, let’s get you crystal clear!!
It IS possible to have the WHOLE enchilada.
Here are 3 key steps to clarity:
#1 – Ask yourself, “What do I really want? What would I love? What would my life look like if I were living as my most magnificent Self? What would life look like if I were living totally empowered?”
Would you have a deeply connected, loving and passionate relationship? How about letting that sensual, vibrant, healthy body come out to play? What about an exciting career that’s not only fulfilling but catapults you out of bed every morning with unbridled enthusiasm for the day? Is your bank account big and fat allowing you to travel to those bucket list places and have that magnificent Mediterranean home overlooking the ocean?
#2 – Give yourself permission to envision every area of your life as a 10. What would that look like? The sky’s the limit! Think of every aspect of your life. Remember you can have it ALL – as far and wide and tehnicolored as your imagination can fathom.
#3 – Determine what you want, write it down (research shows you 10x manifestation by getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper :)). Write it in first person present tense to direct the energy to the present moment. That’s how we close the gap from where we are to where we want to be. Be as detailed as possible. The law of specificity is one of the 3 most important invisible laws of success. The more specific you are the easier it will be to bring forth your vision.
How do you feel right now? Thrilled? Expansive? Excited? Inspired? Hopeful? Doubtful? Take some deep relaxing breaths and let yourself percolate. Let it sink in that you have control over the course of your life.
If you have felt like a buoy in the ocean bobbing about at the mercy of the waves, you now know you can anchor yourself with a clear vision of your choice (if some parts of the vision are still fuzzy, no worries. Let it come together organically as you lean into it and TRUST it will come together)
Here’s to stepping into the most magnificent version of you – because there is no time like the present!!! AND something tells me 2020 is going to be an awesome year for you!!!
So give yourself permission to dream…BIG!
Cheers to you and the New Year!!!
PS – Big News – I would love to support you in achieving your vision and want to share something very exciting – I was recently trained in a new process (Alternate Life Balance) that rewires the subconscious to support you in achieving the visions/dreams you would love. Why this is important for you is that unless you have underlying beliefs that are in vibrational alignment with what you desire, that dream will stay “out there” typically leaving you feeling stuck and frustrated. If you are interested in setting yourself up for success on a subconscious level, and want to learn more about how to do that, click here to set up a time to chat with me :))
It’s LIFE CHANGING
Time to say sayonara to 2019 and let the New Year and DECADE Begin!!!
If you really want to see big change, consider this….rather than setting resolutions, make a courageous commitment to live on the edge of your comfort zone.
You sure would be in good company!! I remember seeing Dianne Feinstein and a bevy of other iconic females being interviewed and they all said the key to a happy and fulfilling life involves taking risks and stepping out of your safety zone.
According to these empowered women, that’s when life becomes magical and you are truly living into your genius and greatness.
As inspiring as that sounds you may be saying to yourself, “That seems kinda scary. My life may be a bit boring but routine suits me because I know what to expect and I like being in control…” sound familiar?
In the spirit of this theme I say shake it up baby!!!
Wow, are we really in the “nth” hour of 2019? Can you believe it??
You may have had a really tough year and are looking forward to saying sayyyy-onnnn-ara!!!.That’s probably true for many people. On the other hand, there is no doubt you’ve had some real gem moments that may need to be mined from the last year.
Whether you’ve had high times or low times, there is some great wisdom to be had in all of it… if you know how to look for it.
Something fun I like to do at the end of the year is a “real”reflection because if you are anything like me, there is a tendency to focus on what didn’t get done. Right? Mama mia that can take you right down the rabbit hole!
So today I’m sharing this enlightening year end tradition with you; it’s perfect to do right now before you get caught up in all the New Year’s Eve glitz and blitz.
Started several years ago this is not only easy and fun, it helps me see all the good things that happened; clear the chaos and clutter to GET the lesson, and sets me up for a spectacular and exciting New Year.
What I’m talking about involves 3 simple, fun and eye-opening questions.
1. What did I accomplish this year? Get your planner out and spend 15 minutes looking back to remind yourself of all your wins! This includes both emotional and physical accomplishments. Maybe you stood up to your mother and set a boundary, or made a choice to eat healthy foods that nourish and make you feel energized. Maybe you ran a 10K or realized what love really means or volunteered your time. Look at every little thing that moved you forward. Write it down with pride! I like to make this a fun poster that makes my heart smile by using colorful glitter glue and rhinestone stickers. Celebrate YOU!
2. What am I leaving behind? Look at lessons learned and ways of being that you are going to ditch. Maybe you were overly responsible and now you are going to let go of blaming yourself when things go awry. Or perhaps you are a woman of independence and you are going to let go of doing everything yourself and ask, dare I say it, for help! It could be you had unhealthy eating habits and you are going to let go of indulging to fill a void and bring in some new empowering behaviors. Possibly you have a closet full of clothes yet you wear the same 5 outfits over and over again and know it’s time to heave-ho ( yes that includes that little black dress you wore with the one you thought was “the one” and your heart sinks every time you look at it- get it out!). You are becoming the leading lady of your life!!! Hallelujah to that sister!
3. What would I love in 2019? Get yourself a calendar, some colorful pens and use your imagination to create a life of passion! Start by thinking of all the things that you would love to do and fill in your calendar for the whole year. Decide when and how many vacations you want to take; how many fun days a month will you give yourself? Are there retreats or training’s you’d like to attend for physical, spiritual or mind blowing expansion? Make sure to include a bucket list item or two or three LOL. Taking control of how you spend your time will create a much more balanced and happy life.
As Margaret Wheatley said,
“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”
Answering the above 3 questions will make you feel lighter and as you feel lighter you’ll begin to feel more energized and open. As you feel more energized and open, you’ll step into the New Year with more confidence.
It’s time to make a change! Gather your gumption and give this a go! You’ll be glad you did!
I would love to hear about your reflections!
Leave a comment below and let me know:
1 thing you did this year that you are proud of…
~ or ~
1 thing you are letting go of…
~ or ~
1 fun thing you are adding to your 2020 calendar…
P.S. – I’m cooking up a call that will bring you magic in 2020!! Stay tuned and eyes peeled – it’s happening in a week:))
This has been a very reflective month for all that I’m grateful for (soooo thankful for the BIG full moon this month illuminating it so clearly! Wow was that spectacular or what?!)
Top of my list, is always the gratitude I have for my beautiful mom who taught me so much about love…
Equally important is YOU!! I’m VERY grateful to you for being part of our Sparkle community – for supporting me and my mission and for showing up for yourself and continuing to do what it takes to move forward and become your most loving, happy and joyful Self.
I feel like such a proud mom every time I receive a message from you letting me know how things have changed and positively shifted for you…:)
Sooo, in appreciation for all you give to me, I would like to GIVE YOU a gratitude gift – Sparkle with Feminine Power (30 minute meditation), that will change your life in a very positive way.
As you listen to this guided journey you will notice there is a sound bath component that is key to a quick and powerful way to unlock your feminine power!
Sound healing is an effective method that’s been used successfully for centuries to help women ignite their natural feminine power. The amazing effects of the tuning forks will balance your masculine and feminine energies and connect you to your sensual, radiant, Divine essence.
As a woman you know all too well how stress can affect your energy leaving you feeling tired and out of sorts. It’s easy to lose sight of your divine radiance when you’re juggling the day-to-day demands of life. Even the most evolved woman will occasionally feel out of touch with her strengths.
Just like a piano, the mind, body and spirit need fine-tuning. We store life experiences as energy patterns in our anatomy. Some experiences, especially negative ones, create blockages interrupting the free flow of our vital feminine power. If left unchecked, these blocks will erode your well-being and rob you of your Divine Diamond Power.
Tuning Fork Sound Therapy has the ability to unblock and release energy disturbances inside the body so that feminine balance and intrinsic power are restored effortlessly.
The vibration of sound has many effects on both the conscious and the unconscious levels allowing powerful shifts to occur. The influence of sound can energize, uplift, and rejuvenate the feminine spirit.
Women are phenomenal givers – but not always to themselves. So my sparkling sisters, as you fly into the holidays, taking care of everyone else’s needs, commit to taking a few minutes every day to be still, listen to this meditation and appreciate the beauty of YOU!
To sum it all up this lovely quote to inspire our connection to the beauty that we are:
“Feminine Power isn’t something we go out and acquire, it’s already within us. It’s something we become willing to experience”
– Marianne Williamson
Sparkling hugs of gratitude,
PS – If you spend some time with this consistently you will notice how your life and world begin to blossom in the loveliest of ways…:))
We are in the month of gratitude! Loooove this month! One of my lifetime gratitude’s is to my book coach Patrick Snow (in the pic above with me @ my book launch party). Without his brilliant advice and guidance I wouldn’t have published my book, Sexy and Sparkling after 40, which shares my SPARKLE System- the foundation of the work I’m privileged to share with women all over the world!
My clients bring me a joy that is priceless. I am forever grateful to be part of their journey back to wholeness and Self.
The most common complaint I hear as a coach from women over 40 is that they’ve lost themselves. They’ve lived their life for everyone else and when they look in the mirror – the image looking back at them is tired and stressed. The spark is gone from their eye and they want it back!!
Hey I can totally relate, it happened to me.
How about you? Do you feel like somewhere along the way you lost yourself?
If so, don’t feel bad, because you are not alone. Millions of women all over the world are waking up to the reality that they have a deep desire to feel whole and happy again – to get back their sparkle – to find their joy, to feel empowered.
What I’ve discovered over the last 10 years of working with women is that there’s a common theme: in the process of doing what we think is going to please others: career, romantic relationship, kids, being a good mom, daughter, sister and friend – we pretzel to make everyone else happy. Ending up feeling stressed and exhausted.
Watch this video for a 5 step proven solution.
I recently had a conversation with a male friend about this very topic. We discussed how men are attracted to women who are confident and living a life they love.
He reflected on his romantic experiences…sharing this insight: as his relationships progressed there was a tendency for the woman to change. She often gave up a part of herself to cater to his needs or children’s needs (of course you will want to give to them – we are talking about giving in excess), running herself ragged and forgoing the things that used to bring her soul joy.…consequently becoming a very different woman than she was when they met …this is how she starts to lose herself… and this is how relationships begin to unravel.
As I mentioned above this has been brought to the forefront time and time again over the years as an “aha” for the women I coach. Perhaps you can relate to this?
If so, the solution is a successful 5-step process you can put into action immediately.
Click on the video above to get back your sparkling, joyful, vibrant Self pronto!
I could go on and on about how your course has helped me ENJOY every day with a BRIGHT, POSITIVE, DAZZLING outlook on life. The positive energy I am creating is spilling over into my relationships with everyone. Even strangers are friendlier and kinder! My life is no longer a list of chores but an endless joyful event. The future looks great! Thanks, Sherri. I highly recommend your course to anyone who feels that “something is missing” in their life.
~ Donna from Delaware
Last week was my annual girlfriend getaway trip to NYC. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how important girlfriend bonding is for women. So just like the movie, Same Time Next Year, my soul sister Saskia and I have vowed to meet every year for continued adventures together.
This time we had a blast walking the very active and ALIVE streets of the city; we soaked in the beauty of Central Park, drooled over the fashions in the rain, and went to see one of my favorite comedians, Seinfeld (he was HILARIOUS by the way and was filming for a Netflix special – you have to watch!!). We got lucky with some unexpected great weather AND some rain and enjoyed both because it’s always about spending time together, sharing what’s on our hearts, catching up and having fun:)
This year I was so grateful for an additional day with my awesome friend, Lidia (met her at one of my training’s) and had the opportunity to visit her in the oh so charming town of Larchmont. Talk about a Hallmark Movie – it really does exist!! She’s living it and it’s so inspiring!!!
If you’ve been following me or know me at all, you know friendships are extremely important to me, for many reasons…
Do you know what one of the most powerful things is about spending time with your friends? Aside from the support, connection and fun you have together, when we share and bond we release this really powerful happy hormone – Oxytocin. It flows thru the body and makes us feel fantastic. Isn’t that cool?
It’s a natural feel good cocktail for the soul. Ahhhhhhh.
Studies show living a happy and empowered life that is rich and fulfilling can’t be done alone. It’s our connection to others that gives life it’s richness and adds meaning to our precious time on this planet.
I could not agree more…Which is why it’s so important to stay in touch with your friends – hey, I know life gets crazy with family and work but your friends help you stay connected to that carefree life we had before all the major responsibilities became our priority.
When I reflect on my own life from the curve-balls of the death of my first boyfriend and crumbling of my marriage to new adventures and fun girlfriend getaways, my friends made it better.
They love you, laugh with you, and stand by your side when facing fears and upsets. They validate that you are not alone, crazy, or paranoid. They inspire, support and uplift you, providing the type of therapy that no money can buy because it’s all wrapped in loving care.
As a matter of fact, research now tells us friendships are even more critical to our health and well-being than family relationships. Just one more reason to revel in the joys of girl time!
We all want to be happy and to feel good so I’ve got a fun exercise that will put a smile on your face and will brighten not only your day but will uplift a friend as well.
Since this is the month of thanks giving – I thought it would be appropriate to share the Girlfriend Gratitude Challenge! Super fun way to increase the love in your heart 🙂
This Challenge is designed to help you celebrate the magic and wonder of female friendship. It will shift you out of any unpleasant emotion and fill up your heart with love in seconds!!
I’m all in – will you join me Sparkle sister?
The Girlfriend Gratitude Challenge:
- Every day this month take a moment and give a silent prayer of thanks for each and every one of your friends.
- Then, let them know what a difference they’ve made in your life by sending them a card, giving a call, or sending a heartfelt email or text.
Make their day as they’ve so often made yours, by letting them know how grateful you are for their love, laughter, and support.
When you take the time to celebrate and acknowledge your friends it will increase your love and happiness vibration, and theirs as well. If there is something in particular that you remember they’ve done for you, mention it specifically – that will be even more meaningful for both of you.
Let’s fill each other with love ladies and start the Challenge today!!!
IT’S official. It’s over. Actually it’s been over for quite some time now. Then why can’t you move on?
You may think you’re doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can’t shimmy away from him. Truth be told even if you aren’t in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!
Breaking up can be hard to do. We may be bonded to the other person and have a hard time letting go. Not having a clean break, however, may be confusing for either party. Keeping what seem to be innocent connections may send the signal that you want to get back together or they stand in the way of making a future connection with someone new.
You are probably intertwined with your ex in ways you don’t even realize are preventing you from doing so.
I came across the following article that I was asked to participate in by YourTango a few years ago and wanted to share it with you because it is still incredibly relevant for anyone who desires to move on but just can’t seem to do it and doesn’t understand why they can’t.
This article brings to light ten hidden ways we stay connected with our ex’s. Read your way to freedom!!….