Give yourself some TLC with these 7 solid tips!
With Mother’s Day today, we are reminded to honor our own mothers and all the women in our lives who are mothers. But, what about you? Whether you are a mother or not, do you honor, nurture and nourish yourself? In other words, are you a good mom to you?
Many of us set aside our own needs and desires in order to help someone else. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to care for someone, especially a sick friend or aging parent. At other times, we may be called upon to support a colleague who is going through emotional upheaval.
Let’s face it, we all offer ourselves and nurture others at one time or another. Some of us do it continually, taking care of other people in our lives, being present for them and serving them on a daily basis.
Although it is beautiful to give our time, energy, love and attention to others – especially at those times when it is absolutely essential that we do so – there is a danger of forgetting about ourselves and our needs to be nurtured. This creates an imbalance in our own lives, causing us to lose our sparkle and self in the process.
And, let’s get honest, it can be exhausting, right? No matter how much you love others and are happy to give, you need a break! Otherwise you start breaking down…
How does it look when we become off-balanced, when we aren’t tending to our own needs? How does it feel when we haven’t focused on self-renewal or taken steps to revitalize and replenish ourselves? Well, imagine that you are a big, luscious crystal pitcher filled with lemonade.
Surrounding you is a circle of glasses that want to be filled up. These glasses represent the people in your life – your mate, your kids, your boss, siblings, parents, friends, colleagues, etc. As you focus on filling up everyone’s glasses – filling and refilling them because everyone continues to want more – what happens?
Eventually, the pitcher gets emptied. There’s no more lemonade to pour into the glasses. The pitcher is depleted. Everyone around you still wants more of your wonderful, yummy lemonade, but if the pitcher is not being refilled and replenished, eventually there is nothing more for you to give. That’s what happens when you do not take the time for self-renewal.
Like the pitcher, you eventually have nothing left to offer. You’ve squeezed yourself dry. Yet, you continue to try to give. However, now what you are able to “serve up” becomes flat – it doesn’t taste sweet anymore. Even though you know you are running on empty you push yourself to pour your pitcher anyway. And those who you serve are aware – often unconsciously – that what you’re providing isn’t as good as it once was. Maybe what you now offer is laced with bitterness, resentment, frustration and even anger.
So, what can you do to refill your pitcher – to renew yourself? First, it’s vital that you understand a key concept: the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself! If that relationship is not rock solid, and full of love for yourself, you can lose your way-even lose your sense of Self-and feel isolated, separate and disconnected from everyone and everything.
Alternatively, the more you nurture your relationship with yourself, the more you are ready and able to have relationships with others and give to them – whether that’s a spouse, partner, friends or family members.
How can you renew and nurture your relationship with you? At the core must be the belief that you are valuable, that you deserve to be cared for and that you’re worth it. So, the first step is to love yourself. You must be able to see that you are worthy of love and that the most important love you’ll ever receive is the love and acceptance you give yourself. It starts with you.
Once you acknowledge that you are important and worthy of love and self-care, you can take time to appreciate who you are and spend time refilling your pitcher. There are many ways to do this. To begin with, plan to give yourself some undivided attention. Focus on what you can do to breathe new life into your body, mind, and spirit.
Here are 7 suggestions to get you started:
1. Soak in the tub. If you love taking baths, create a tranquil ambiance – including candles and music – and soak in scented bath salts that relax and refresh your entire Being..
2. Get moving. For your body, exercise is another important component to include. Be sure to choose exercise you enjoy.
3. Eat well. Make healthy food choices and say ‘no’ to white flour products and refined sugar.
4. Take supplements. Visit a wellness store and get a good supplement plan in place … one you can stick with.
5. Listen to your body. Listen to your body and take care of your needs. Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, get a massage, indulge in a mani-pedi and kick any destructive habits/addictions you may be using to cope, like alcohol, drugs or food abuse. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
6. Appreciate yourself. Don’t forget about the little somethings that put smiles on faces and do those things for you. Write yourself a love letter, send a note of gratitude to yourself or even have flowers delivered to you at home or at work.
7. Just Say “No” – this can be so liberating! Give yourself permission to say no! We exhaust ourselves by saying “yes” when we want to say “no”. We fear we won’t be liked or people will be upset with us. Trust that setting a boundary will give you more energy and teach others to respect you and your time.
There is no better time to allow yourself some special self-love, attention and appreciation. Remember: it’s okay to admit that you need to be cared for as you care for others. That said, I encourage you to be a good mom to yourself. Take time this week to acknowledge and renew your relationship with yourself.
PS – A wonderful way to nurture and care for yourself is to get out of town – if you are loooonging for a few days JUST FOR YOU- where you will be loved and cared for, check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate beautiful group of like-minded ladies who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
Do you long for soulful love? That deep, joyful, expansive feeling that fills you up? If you are like most women you are shaking your head with an emphatic YES! Perhaps also feeling frustrated because it has escaped your grasp. Even though you are successful, smart, in a relationship and have lots of friends you feel like something is missing.
If this is you, you’re not alone. I’ve spoken to thousands of women over the past decade who feel exactly the same way and I have to admit I used to feel the same way until I discovered the truth about love. Most of us look to our partner or the relationship we have with our kids, siblings, friends or parents to satisfy our need for love. Yes we can receive love in all of these situations, however, they can also be roller coaster experiences of love – bringing disappointment and not providing the consistency we crave.
So what’s the secret?
It’s actually super simple and thrilling. There is one source of authentic, unconditional Love and it’s there 24/7 for everyone to dip into, to try on, to bask in, to explore deeply. To love is inherent in our nature. The problem is we get so busy, so involved in our own lives, so self focused on what we have on our never, never, never ending to do list that we spiral out of control in the opposite direction of love – we spiral into anxiety, stress and disconnection.
All you have to do is let go of all the details you crowd your mind with and stress yourself out over. At the end of the day is the minutia bringing you closer or further away from the joy-filled life you crave? On top of all the details there’s the fears and anxiety you have about not completing all the details. Jeez Louise what a whirling dervish scenario spinning you like a top and getting nowhere but stressed and frustrated. There is a way out that will bring peace and joy! Hallelujah!!
I was shocked when I read these statistics…and it made me sad. I thought, WOW.. this HAS to change!
Tell me if you agree…
* 75% of women are experiencing chronic stress? Did you know that?
* 1 in 4 women over 40 are on anti-depressants!!!!
That’s a lot of emotional distress happening, stealing your joy, radiance and happiness.
I say the time to change this is NOW! Don’t you agree?
Because the reality is, either you or a woman you know:
- Lacks confidence and has low self-esteem in love
- Feels like something is definitely missing
- Chronically busy – no time for herself
- Living for everyone else and feels lost and/or unappreciated
- Wants to open her heart but is scared to get hurt again
Or maybe you or a woman you know has gone from high functioning to low functioning and feels stuck and frustrated.
When you are in the murky waters of your mind getting unstuck and creating happiness can seem elusive; you can spin your wheels waiting for things to change.
The truth is you DESERVE to sparkle and have a life you love!!!
Which is why, if you can relate to any of the above, I have a solution for you.
Let me tell you about something I know, without a shadow of a doubt, will transform your life – something I’ve given a lot of thought to, keeping you and your needs in the forefront of my mind.
I’ve created an immersive experience for you that will definitely bring your va-va voom back…
Ready to hear my remedy for results?
This soul-enriching adventure will provide you with the tools and support you need to make REAL CHANGE for lasting results. You will leave feeling like a new woman, totally empowered having released the past and opening your heart. You will also have a practical plan of action for bringing more love and joy into your daily life.
This retreat is highly experiential – you will not be sitting indoors all day learning content (although we do a little of that). The majority of the time you will be transforming through awesome experiences.
If you struggle with doing something nice for yourself, know you are not alone. These women felt just like you and made a decision to stop waiting and take action. Here’s what they had to say about their experience at Soul Sparkle Retreat last year:
“This has been an amazing retreat! I’m leaving with my heart and soul refreshed and ready to expand my life. It exceeded my expectations!” ~ Peggy
“What a very positive, rejuvenating, energizing, inspirational and fulfilling experience! I became clear on how I want to show up in the next chapter of my life. Recently ending a marriage I needed to move through to the other side and leave that life behind. I made the right choice to come to Soul Sparkle Retreat – this is right where I needed to be.” ~ Jane
“Soul Sparkle was a great experience – something I really needed to do to get back to me.”~ K.D.
“I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and I feel I faced old fears and definitely stepped out of my box. This was an excellent experience bringing me growth and awareness and it was fun! Met some awesome women too!” ~ Patty
Here’s why I’m sharing these with you – these women made the choice to put themselves first so they could create a more joyful, fulfilling, love-filled life AND show up with more love for those they love.
So here’s what’s NEXT if you choose:
Soul Sparkle Retreat has only a few spots left – if you are interested in feeling happy, reconnecting and anchoring more solidly into your beautiful, diamond essence, and generally expanding your life with more love, this would be a great next step for you.
If you feel a longing in your heart, hurry and book a time to chat with me – there are only 2 spots left! Does one belong to you?
Are you like most women, forgetting to take care of you when life is coming at you like a tsunami? It’s easy to live in your head and disconnect from the core essence of YOU when one thing after another is coming at you. When that’s happening do you know how to fill yourself up with your most loving, sensual, playful self?
It’s ok, you can admit it, not many women do. Honestly most women aren’t schooled or mentored in how to do this – we are taught how to make other people happy, how to make money, how to sacrifice our needs and made to feel selfish if we want a more pleasurable life.
In truth you don’t have to change who you are to have what you want. Simply embrace these 7 tips to fill up with your God-given feminine, sensual self. When you make a commitment to show up fully in this charismatic essence you will experience a much more love-filled, happy life!
1) Passion – the most attractive woman is the woman who loves life and feels desirable. Men see this in your eyes ladies – that you “have it”. When you make yourself the priority and then the man you gain his interest and respect. As soon as you value the man more you lose your appeal because you are not honoring and respecting yourself first. So discover what you are passionate about and make a bliss list of at least five things. Make sure at least three of the things are not dependent on others for your “feel good” and then do one of these things daily to fill you up with passion.
2) Touch – becoming intimate with you is paramount to creating intimacy with others. So get started by experiencing your senses. Take some “me” time in a private environment (like your bedroom), light a candle, put on some music and lay down completely naked. Close your eyes and slowly touch every inch of your lovely body in a very sacred manner. As you run your hands over your legs, belly, breasts and arms notice the feel of your skin, the inner sensations, and the pleasure your body feels in being touched so lovingly. Appreciating your body in a non-sexual manner will help you get to know you and your sensual self.
3) Fun – connect with your other personas and let your inner vixen out! There are so many leading ladies waiting backstage to come out and play and bedazzle and yet we let the same ole’ gal take center stage day in and day out. Mix it up! Recast your movie! Take up belly dancing, pole dancing or whatever would make you just a wee bit uncomfortable and do it for YOU. Then bring her into the boudoir and create a fun romantic adventure. Your partner will be saying, “Wow who was that last night? Let’s invite her back!”
4) Flirt – flirt for the sheer pleasure of it, not to be coy or seductive but simply to have fun with all the elements of life. Feel the wind on your cheeks, coo at a baby, swish your favorite drink or morsel around letting your taste buds enliven, open up to situations you normally are closed off to, stand at the edge of the surf with your arms extended to the heavens, smile or say hello to a stranger and feel how expansive you become!
5) Moxie – become the most magnificent version of YOU- no more playing small and hiding out. One of my clients, Carol, was tired of the “room mate” relationship her marriage had become and decided to step into what she wanted. While taking one of my playful programs she tried out a few of the sensual poses she had learned. She didn’t let it bother her that she wasn’t getting the attention she wanted initially – instead she continued for her own pleasure and it was then that her husband locked eyes with her and they had the most passionate night in years. No coincidence that when she was confidently dwelling in the sweet spot of her magnificence she became irresistible!
6) Dance – again a private affair! You can do this one of two ways – either stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself or close your eyes and let the energy of the music come up through you, having its way with you. Do you trust yourself? Do you feel safe letting go of control? Give yourself permission to let go and let this energy fill you with sensual bliss within. Notice how you feel full and your edges start to disappear. A combination of the two is optimal, seeing the look in your eyes after you’ve allowed this energy to flow within is powerful.
7) Let go – this can be terrifying for sure but keeping the package all nice and neat and looking good is exhausting! Keeping everything together is also about being in control and that’s engaging your masculine. It’s very hard to be in your sensual feminine essence when you are fighting to keep your masculine present. Granted there is real authentic fear about letting go but understand that being in control is really an illusion. Be willing to see it another way. Feel the fear, listen in, and work through it rather than let it paralyze you. In other words surrender…God/Source/The Divine will be there to catch you and always get you through!
These tips are not a singular quick fix – they are a practice, a way of life. Make the commitment to make this way of living a lifestyle and you will find yourself feeling full up with your feminine, sensual self – engaging everyone in your wake.
PS – If you would like help filling up with your soulful sensual Self check out the Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate group of like-minded women who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
Have you ever had the thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why did _____________(he have an affair, leave the relationship, stop wanting me OR stop wanting to spend time with me, stop paying attention to me, stop talking to me,… fill in the blank with whatever it is for you).
We’ve all had experiences and situations in our lives that have in effect, forced us to build protective barriers to guard our hearts. When built, they may have served in protection, but the trick is to know when to allow your walls to collapse and let the old stories go. Once this happens, love pours in.
And the truth is everyone deserves to live a life filled with love and loving connections. So how can we intentionally create and experience more love? Learn how here….
PS – If you would like to develop more Self-Love a truly transformational experience is waiting for you at Soul Sparkle Retreat! Join a small intimate group of like-minded women who are looking to do the exact same thing as you – and have FUN doing it! Soul Sparkle Retreat.
April is a month that always symbolizes sparkling renewal for me; a time when fresh ideas, actions and perspectives bloom endlessly. In other words, it’s the perfect time to envision your juiciest desires springing into life!!!
And yet there’s no getting around it: starting in our 40’s and for sure in our 50’s we begin to notice that we don’t feel as vibrantly alive and juicy as we used to. Let’s face it, when our hormones say sayonara lots of things start to change including our libido, sexual pleasure and body shape.
I remember thinking all I had to do was eat right and exercise consistently and my body would remain the same –WOW was I wrong! Ay yi yi after going through an early menopause, things not only shifted, they dropped, pouched, and spread seemingly overnight— it was either laugh or cry!
Beyond the body shifting what’s with the thinning brows and lashes? Even more alarming is the newfound thickets of nose hair and facial fur – shocking!!! If you let it, maintenance on this alone could be a full time job LOL!
Whether or not you are battling with a loss of hormones yet, there’s no escaping aging and its impact on our confidence and love life.
Fortunately there is a solution!
What I’ve learned and want to share is that no matter what is going on with you, your body and your libido, this is a time in your life when it’s important to accept and love yourself, honoring your body as the goddess temple it is, regardless!
This means spring-cleaning your thoughts of judgment and criticism – literally opening up the windows and tossing them out.
Letting thoughts and actions of adoration and appreciation replace them instead.
Here are a few tips to bring back your vibrancy:
- Look at your reflection in the mirror and really get that you are a creation of perfection. You are beautiful! Gaze in your eyes and say, “I love you” over and over again until you FEEL this Truth.
- Make a list of at least five things you like about your body and carry that list with you. Have it on hand so you can quickly pull it out whenever you need to remind yourself how incredible you are. Remember, focus only on your fabulousness!
- Every day before you get up in the morning Circle your hips and breathe deeply into your pelvic heart center to WAKE UP your sensual Self. This connects you with your feminine essence
- Notice your thoughts and words. Keep a journal identifying the most common thoughts you have and make a conscious decision to turn around negative thoughts and choose more empowering thoughts
- Dance to music you find rhythmic and sexy
All of these actions require an awareness of your self-talk and inner thoughts.
Why is this important for you?
Because the words we say to ourselves carry an energetic vibration that creates our feelings about ourself and our behaviors and ultimately our results in life – very powerful!
Have you heard of Dr Masaru Emoto?
His studies show that the way we speak to ourselves carries its own energetic weight. For instance, in one of his experiments conducted with words and music there were two glasses of water, drawn from an identical water source.
On each glass were written words. One glass had positive messages written on it like love, joy, beautiful. The other had negative messages like hate, sad, ugly. The water was left to sit in the glasses for a while then the water was looked at under a microscope.
What they discovered is astounding!!
The molecules of water that were in the glass with the positive words scrawled on it looked like snowflakes, they were beautiful, and reflected light like prisms. BEAUTIFUL.
On the other hand, the water molecules that were left to sit in the glass with the negative messages written on it, when they were examined were shockingly black and yellow and looked horrible!
Our body is over 70% water – so our thoughts are impacting our overall health and well-being greatly.
So ladies, although aging brings changes and is not always fun, we can empower ourselves with positive solutions, like the ones outlined above, to stay vibrant, juicy and ALIVE!
To your radiance!
I have a super exciting announcement to make but first let me ask you this…
Did you know that happy women appear sexier to men? Smiling makes you more approachable and sends a positive signal that acts like a magnetic force for attracting other happy people.
Perhaps even more exciting, the happier you are, the more confident you are. When we’re cheerful we feel confident in ourselves and our abilities. Happiness is not a sporadically occurring phenomenon; it is the result of our responses – the more regularly we experience happiness as a response, the more confident we become in our ability to succeed and be happy.
This confidence is the most natural confidence that a woman can possess and one that is noticed by others. Once you are happy and confident that you can continue to make yourself happy, your comfort zone begins to expand – people will love that about you.
The biggest secret that happy women know is that happiness needs to be taken on proactively. You can’t just wait for fun to happen. You must become responsible for creating your own playful, passionate, fulfilling life.
Being playful and having fun will also keep your stress at bay.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed out it’s nearly impossible to feel authentically happy? Stress is toxic and will steal your joy.
The human body doesn’t discriminate between a BIG stress or a little one. Regardless of the significance, stress affects the body in predictable ways. A typical stress reaction, which most of us experience dozens of times each day, begins with a cascade of 1,400 biochemical events in your body. If these reactions are left unchecked we age prematurely, our cognitive function is impaired, our energy is drained, and we are robbed of our sparkling joyous spirit.
It’s time to take the reins to reduce stress and enjoy happiness! One of the best ways to access your joy and eliminate stress is to schedule fun time on your calendar. Scheduling joyful experiences is just as vital as fitting in other important events.
Taking a proactive approach ensures that you’ll be having more fun more often. When you’re having fun, feeling happy, and accessing your passion; your life will unfold in the most marvelous ways. You’ll experience vital health, become sexier, more confident and experience less stress.
I can’t think of any better reason to make playtime a top priority!
Now back to my exciting announcement…If you’re ready for more fun, I’ve got some awesome news for you!! Here it is….
Soul Sparkle Retreat (3rd annual) is happening this summer!!! Yay!!! This is an intimate gathering of AMAZING women dedicated to their growth, joy and happiness.
Every year I choose a different spot that I feel matches the retreats theme and desired outcome and this location is truly deeee-licious – right on the beach! I’m very proud and thrilled to be hosing our 2019 retreat at such a beautiful resort.
This is an extraordinary event that will teach you how to have more FUN, be more playful, clear through blocks and discover authentic happiness in every aspect of your life.
If you feel like there’s a gap between your dream life (where you’re deeply loved, happy and fulfilled) and your current reality, this sassy, soulful sanctuary is the bridge!
There are only a handful of spots left so check in with your heart…and if this is speaking to you, schedule a time to chat with me by clicking here NOW!
Last week we dipped our big toe into the idea of creating more balance when our life is bobbing about from emotional and physical circumstances. We talked about finding stability amidst the underlying wobbles of life. You were given a 5-step formula not only to keep you afloat, but for flowing intentionally – so you can consistently make progress towards your desires and dreams. How are you doing with that?
This week would you be willing to go a little deeper lovely? I’m not talkin’ full plunge, just shimmying in up to your waist line… It will be worth your while!
Ok let’s do it! I’ve been having some powerful conversations with my Sparkle Sister Circle about the key to building more of a grounded foundation – based on ONE thing only and I want you to be privy to it.
Basically we’ve been talking about what Gay Hendricks calls ‘Upper Limits’. This implies each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, happiness, money, confidence, good health etc. we allow ourselves to have. This applies to every aspect of your life. When we surpass the setting we often do something to sabotage ourselves and bring us back down to the old level where we feel secure. Now, we may not like this level, but there is something about it that makes us feel safe.
A la all the turbulent waters we discussed last week that we are wading and wobbling in. The truth is there is a gorgeous bright Life beckoning us all the time (pic above) but most of us stop ourselves from expanding into this Light with these upper limits, sinking back down into the dark familiar clouds in our minds.
Wouldn’t it be awesome to create more solid state and breakthrough our upper limits? “Sassy!”, said one of my Sparkle Sisters to that idea. I hope you are thinking the same because it truly can change your life!
What I’m about to share is nothing new – however, I invite you to read it with a reflective, beginners mind. We really do ourselves a disservice when we breeze past things with a dismissive, “I know that”, because the truth is if your life does not reflect what you desire you don’t know it. You may know it intellectually but not on a cellular level. In other words you may “know” it in your head but your body didn’t get the memo. And that’s a HUGE difference.
So you’re probably saying, “Come on already Sherri, what is this ONE thing?” I get it – I always want to get right to the point myself – so here it is… SELF-LOVE.
Pure and simple a solid foundation of self-love will allow you to push thru any upper limit.
In all my years of coaching what I have found over and over and over again is that brilliant, competent, capable, creative, beautiful women are not getting what they desire because deep down (in those troubled waters) they don’t believe they deserve it – whatever “it” is for them…love, happiness, prosperity, vibrant health etc.
I am here to tell you that’s baloney!!! You deserve to lasso the moon! And if you don’t believe it, believe in my belief.
The Bible says:
I was created in God’s own image (Genesis 1:27)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
You can’t be more deserving and valuable than this for heaven’s sake!
The problem is over the years we’ve taken in soooo many negative situations/emotions/ experiences and we’ve sat on them, buried them and wallowed in them – not allowing things to flow thru. We end up like the Dead Sea – stagnant and stuck.
7 Tips to develop more self-love:
- Think about what is upetting you, identify the emotion associated with it, notice where it is in your body – put a hand on that area and sit with it, allowing it to flow until the emotion has dissipated (usually about 90 seconds to 2 minutes). Painful at first, but quickly free’ing!
- Write loving words on your body before you bathe. As you wipe them away imagine the essence of the word soaking into your body.
- Write yourself a love letter – and GUSH
- Make a list of what’s great about YOU and add to it every night before you go to bed.
- Do something that brings you joy daily.
- Stare at a color you love – this will automatically shift your energy and increase your love vibration
- Listen to Christian music (i.e. – I Can Only Imagine) or any song that brings you happiness.
As you engage in these activities you create more loving space for yourself (and others) in your body which will build a bigger foundation of self love and allow you to soar to new heights allowing for a bigger richer life!
Choose one of these actions today and let me know the result 🙂 The love you desire is within – it’s REAL and it’s there for you 24/7! Dive in lovely – you can do this!!!
PS I’ve got a BIG announcement!!! Want to be the “first” to know about what’s coming this summer? Does the idea of releasing the past, renewing your energy and letting your Sparkle shine sound good? Then CLICK HERE for more information!
Last week in the community call I shared how I had just returned from a phenomenal pilgrimage to Israel – truly transformational!
One of the adventures I talked about on that call, and would like to dive deeper into today, was my experience at the Dead Sea.
It began as our bus of 59 pilgrims rounded the bend and caught our first glimpse of the water – stunningly still and shimmering under the brilliance of the sun. As we pulled into Herods Dead Sea Spa, we couldn’t get out quick enough to suit up and frolick in that salty sea.
And boy did we!!
Some dashed right in, others slowly, but no matter how we entered, we all seemed to bob around precariously (trying to avoid salt in the eye – warned that would be no bueno!) until we let ourselves float.
And the real fun began as we attempted playful floating poses (a la me in pic above). The operative word being “attempted” – ay yi yi!!! It was soon discovered any movement in this wiggly water caused instant instability. And that’s when a lesson dropped in.
If you found February to be less romantic than expected you are not alone. Many women confided they felt disappointed and disconnected (especially those in relationships). So today I want to share with you the key to a love life full of passion and soul-to-soul connection. It’s powerful. It’s sacred. It opens the gateway to intimacy.
Wanna know what it is…?
It’s actually quite simple…
TOUCH….absolutely key to feeling connected. It engages the senses God gave us for our emotional and physical well-being and pleasure, and is a powerful way to express what we cannot say. Yet still, we are a touch-starved society.
Don’t get me wrong; women love to hear the words, “I love you”, but touching launches relationships into intimacy by directly accessing the emotional self. Words are processed in the thinking part of the brain, while touch is processed by the emotional centers.
Endorphins, released by touching your lover or your own beautiful body, flow through the body creating a sense of caring and pleasure while calming daily stress.
A worldwide study done in the 1960s monitored the number of touches couples shared at coffeehouses around the world. The results reveal the drastic cultural differences we apply to skin-on-skin contact. Puerto Ricans got the prize-touching 180 times an hour, while Americans adhered to a strict diet touching only twice within an hour.
Thus began some serious research on the importance of touch, leading to the discovery that the amount of skin-to-skin contact in our lives plays a crucial role in our happiness and vitality. The act of touching influences our ability to form close relationships with other people, to deal with stress and pain, and even to fight off disease. The hunger for touch may manifest as depression, anxiety, irritability, boredom, pain, moodiness as well as make you feel isolated, separate and lonely.
So many women complain that their relationships lack intimacy-much of it arguably because of our touch barriers. We are born with an intense hunger for contact. The emotional development of babies depends on tons of touching and as adults we have a strong need to be held in someone’s arms, to hold hands, to be cuddled and caressed. Yet, most people don’t touch as often as they would like-afraid of being rejected as being needy or vulnerable, they cover their need for intimacy with work, activities, TV, food, drugs and alcohol.
If you want intimacy, it’s time to break the touch barriers! And the first step to developing a successful, intimate relationship with your partner is to first build intimacy with yourself. Exploring every inch of your body will help you get to know what you like and what makes you feel good. Once you’ve got this down, you can reach out to your partner with confidence to create the closeness you crave.
With all these fantastic reasons to bring touch into relationships let’s take a look at 7 ways you can incorporate touch into your life.
- Kissing: A 20-second kiss will raise his testosterone levels and make you feel closer.
- Moisturize head-to-toe: Applying lotion to your body guarantees that all of your skin will be touched and rubbed. For an added calming effect, use an aromatherapy lotion scented with lavender.
- Yoga: This popular fitness trend offers many of the benefits of touch because the poses involve rubbing limb against limb. Some Iyengar yoga classes also include a partnered practice-a great way to get your RDA of touching.
- Hugging: Full-body hugging increases closeness, connection and safety.
- Massage: The shoulders, hands and feet create an emotional release when touched. New York-based sex therapist Mildred Witkin suggests couples should practice touching in a way that is not explicitly sexual to keep intimacy and playfulness alive.
- Two to Tango: Dance classes are a great way to meet new people, and have your hand and waist held all evening long. Contact your local YMCA or dance studio for schedules.
- Back Rubs: Studies show that a daily back rub drastically reduces anxiety and creates positive changes in attitude.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, take the time to nurture yourself or your partner with some loving touch – it’s your gateway to intimacy, providing a powerful, solid message of care, support, acknowledgment and love.